My Social Life Is Online

My Social Life Is Online is a song for Avenue Q School Edition, replacing its much ruder version.

Role
Mrs.Butz leaves Katherine "Kate" Monster in charge of teaching a lesson, so she teaches them about friendship, but Trekkie Monster interferes and talks about his online social life.

Lyrics.
Kate: A friend is something everybody needs.

Trekkie: Online.

Kate: A person with friends is a person who succeeds.

Trekkie: Online.

Kate: When someone new says "hi",

Trekkie: Online.

Kate: There's no need to be shy.

Trekkie: Online.

Kate: Who cares if they're a girl or they're a guy?

Trekkie: ONLINE!!

Kate: (spoken) Trekkie?

Trekkie: (sung) Me social life is online.

Kate: (shouting) Trekkie!

Trekkie:(sung) Me social life is online.

Kate: (spoken) What are you doing?

Trekkie: (sung) Me have friends and me do fine just online.

Kate: (shouting) Trekkie Monster!

Trekkie: (spoken) Hello, Kate Monster.

Kate: (spoken) You are ruining my song.

Trekkie: (spoken) Oh, me sorry. Me no mean to. Kate Monster, how do I learn to sing in your class?

Kate: (spoken) Will you please be quiet for one minute so I can finish?

Trekkie: (whispering) OK

Kate: (spoken) Good. (sung) A friend is something you can make for free.

Trekkie: (half-sung) Online. Oops.

Kate: (sung) All you need's compatibility.

Trekkie: (half-sung) Online. Oops. Sorry.

Kate: (sung) Though off a fridge report

Trekkie: (half-sung) On.

Kate: (sung) 'Cause that's what friends are for. And soon you'll chat with more and more and more.

Trekkie: ONLINE!

Kate: (shouting) Trekkie!

Trekkie: (sung) Me social life is online.

Kate: (spoken) Trekkie?

Trekkie: (sung) Me social life is online.

Kate: Woah!

Trekkie: (sung) Me have fifty-six hundred thousand friends online!

Kate: (spoken) Trekkie Monster.

Trekkie: (shouting) Yes, Kate. Why don't you friend me?!

Kate: (spoken) 'Cause I have no use for social networking sites. I only spend time with real people. Unlike some computer-crazed, socially-centred stay-at-home monster I could name.

Trekkie: (spoken) You hurt my feelings, Kate Monster.

Kate: (spoken) I just want you to have some real friends.

Trekkie: (spoken) You want real friends?

Kate: (spoken) I guess so.

Trekkie: (shouting) THEN FRIEND ME!

Kate: (spoken) Oh, all right. How do I sign up?

Trekkie: (spoken) Send a message to Social Networking Company. Then your birthday and and phone and other information to Social Networking Company. Then a picture of you and some flashing lights to Social Networking Company.

Kate: (spoken) I did it.

Trekkie: (shouting) Yeah! Fifty-six hundred thousand and one friends! (sung) Me social life is online.

Kate: (spoken) Wow.

Trekkie: (sung) Me social life is online.

Kate: (spoken) I didn't either.

Trekkie: (sung) Friend a clique and point and click for friends online. FRIENDS ON.

Both: (sung) My social life is on. Social life is on. Social life is online.