User blog:Bombom6206/The Sky Is My Limit

The Sky Is My Limit By: Esther Sanchez

I look around the world and all I see is hate and pain, why can I not see happiness, and healthiness. Friends instead of enemies. Charity instead of drama. Staying instead of leaving, or living instead of dying. I've met so much people along my life. Some people have been nice and some have been mean but I do not cry for it, I just forgive and forget. Why do humans have to be so selfish and arrogant? Why can’t we be kind and charible? Well just like you I don’t know. Well I am now sitting here beneath a tree wondering how my life is supposed to be. A few years ago I told myself I will never allow anyone to hurt me again, or that I would hurt anyone. But now a few years later I am here crying my eyes balls out because of love and life. I have not just hurt myself but I have also hurt a special boy too, and not to mention my family. But as well they have all hurt me, including him. He won’t listen! He won’t stay away! Why doesn’t he understand we don’t belong together? I have no way out of this, I am stuck. But he can! He can live his life. He can be happy. He deserves someone better. But he is always there. Next to me. Staring at me with his big hazel eyes and his black hair flowing just the right away. His soft hands softly on top of my dry hands. I love how lost his eyes get during the sunset, how his lips get watery and his cheeks get light pink. I cannot deny I love when his next to me. And how upset I get when he has to go with one of his girlfriends. This isn’t how this is supposed to be.... why he isn’t mine. But he can’t be mine. I wish I could just go already. Why can’t they just see that I have a black finger? Whatever I touch it dies. I believe that people change from one second to another. But not because they want to or because they feel like they should. I believe that people change because it’s the only way to survive this world. I believe people change because of the circumstances they are in, because they have suffered so much that they know how it feels to be in pain. I believe that there is no such thing as friends, because everybody talks about everybody. Back-stabbing and jealousy ruins every single friendship. I also believe that the only real love in this world is the one from your parents, because no matter how hard you try to push them away and tell them how much you hate them they will always be on your side. As for me, as much of any other teenage girl I always believe in happily ever after, like in the fairytales. But sadly, this isn’t any fairytale, this is just life, real cruel life. There is never a happy ending, unless death counts of course. I believe we take life for granted every day, not knowing that many other people will give everything to have our life. We are never happy with what we have, we always want more. And no matter what we do, is never good enough. There is always someone better. It’s true what they say, we are the most dangerous creatures in this world. I wish that we could all know the truth behind this lie without suffering. Without having to wake up every day getting hurt by someone. That feeling we get like if someone has hit us on the stomach really hard. But indeed we can’t, we have to learn the hard way. Let our tears make our rainbow. A few months ago I was diagnosed with a small tumor in my brain, preventing my oxygen to go in our out. So I blocked myself, from everything and from everyone. All I wanted was to die. I knew I was gonna die, why suffer? But sadly I had no choice, so I suffered. But that day of my diagnosis I met someone, just like me. And as time passed she took my life and made it her destiny, and my destiny became her last wish. You are probably really confused. I was too. Sorry, this probably isn’t the best intro but I don’t know where to start from. Maybe I should start from the ending and end at the beginning. Or maybe I should just tell you what happened to me at the end. But I wouldn’t know what to tell you because I don’t know what the end really is. I honestly don’t have an ending…. Just yet. You probably by now think, this is a cheesy story about how I felt in love with a boy, but it’s not. Don’t get me wrong part of it is, but it’s mostly a story about a friendship, and loving my life. Everything just adds up, somehow, and becomes my crazy life. My name is April Logan, I am 16 years old, and I live with my parents in Austin TX. I am sophomore in Junior High and well yeah I think that’s about it. Oh wait I forgot to tell you about my friends, or better said my life savers, Kyle and Chloe. I’ll tell you about them later on the story so don’t worry. Friday afternoon, last day of exams before we get out of school. Very dramatic day as we could say. I walked pass the hallways and everyone is so nervous to know if they passed, just staring hopelessly at the wall with the big white paper with bunch of I.D numbers and grades. Some are yelling out of happiness, and the rest are crying out of fear. I walked slowly to the wall. I looked for my number…6206 I passed my number down the paper. “Found it…” I whispered. “A…. A….A….A…A….B…A…A….A.” I whisper passing my finger crossed the wall. “Good enough…” I whispered again and walked out of the crowd. I walked back to the patio where Kyle and Chloe would be waiting. “April….” I heard my name from the back. “Scared you huh?” Chloe said with a big smile. “Totally gave me a heart attack!” I said sarcastically and pushed her. “So what did you get?” Come on tell me… Mrs. Independent…” Chloe asked curiously “She got 8 A’s and one B. Stupid Gym Huh?” Kyle said throwing a bottle water at me. I looked at him blankly… he knew me too well. “April I don’t want to freak you but Ummm… how do I say this… I think you have a stalker…” Chloe said sarcastically. “Shut up Mrs. Don’t touch me!” Kyle said punching her in the arm. “Ouch! April! Tell him not to hit me!” Chloe yelled really loud. “O yeah go tell Mommy April… Baby crier!” Kyle yelled louder. “Shut up guys! You are given me a headache…” I said slowing down. “Again?” They both asked. I had been getting headaches for a few weeks now, nothing to worry about, so I thought. “Yeah… Nothing to worry about guys… I am just really tired, can we just go home?” I said smiling and walking to my bike. “Sure? Ready?” Kyle said getting on his bike. “Ready.” I said putting on my helmet. “You guys and your bike… My mom is already here, I’ll see you guys later.” Chloe said and waived while walking away. “I forgot why we are friends with her….” Kyle said all of the sudden looking loss into the sky. “Same reason why we are friends with you… ha-ha idiot.” I said smiling. “Race you home, I am gonna beat you, just like always!” I yelled riding my bike so fast I couldn’t even feel my feet. “Oh no you don’t! Wait for me!” Kyle said behind me, or at least that’s what I heard. That was my crazy life, I could even say my life was perfect, it couldn’t get any better. “Beat ya!” I said laughing “Like always!” I added. “Whatever.” Kyle said taking of his helmet. “See you later A. I am starving.” He said walking home. “Okay yeah, me too.” I said smiling and walked home too. “Hey don’t forget to pack, remember we are going to Hawaii this Tuesday.” He yelled. “Totally, I already have everything ready.” I yelled and he just waived bye. We each went the opposite direction. “Next Stop Hawaii.” I whispered softly and closed the door. All I see are white lights making my eyes go blind. I hear noises very far away. I see shadows of people on the wall. I can hear crying and yelling. I try to open my eyes fully but my whole body is sleep. I try to talk but all I do is mumble. I cannot remember nothing from what had happened, except for this huge pain in my brain like it was about to explode, and then the whole world went black. I suddenly hear footsteps and a door opening and slashing hardly into the thin wall. I open my eyes slowly, I see a women wearing a blue shirt and blue pants. It looked like a nurse. I try to talk again but as soon as the lady saw me she ran quickly outside yelling like a maniac. My headache is back. “Ahhh!” I yelled brutally trying to pressure my head with the pillow. The nurse rapidly came back in, in back of her, a young men wearing a white coat under is clothes. After a while of yelling I realized I was in the hospital. I calmed myself a little and started asking for my parents. I closed my eyes and opened them rapidly. The walls were so white and the lights were so shiny, it induced my headache. “It’s okay dear, I will call your parents…” The lady said walking out of the room and came in with my parents. “Mom… Dad…” I said softly raising my hands toward them. I as soon as I saw my parents I felt safer, I completely forgot about my headache. I felt a smile form rapidly between my frown. “My baby! Are you okay?” My mom said running towards me. I could see how red her eyes were. She must have been crying. A lot. Her smile was soft but painfully faked. I ran my hand through her cheeks stopping a tear from falling into my eye, that’s how close she was. She softly closed her eyes feeling my cold hands move around her warm skin. I moved a little from my bed giving her a signal to sit. She nodded softly sitting next to me, and pressured my hands hardly with hers. “I am alright… I still have a headache…” I said softly. Her eyes turn watery again. “It’s okay mom, is just a headache right?” I said trying to be positive. She almost broke my small hands. “Oh God….” My mom said quietly, and hugged me rapidly. Her tears went down her cheeks into my hair. Her crying was even louder now. “Mom what’s wrong?” “Don’t worry sweetie, okay everything will be alright….” My dad said softly and looked towards the young men and the lady which I assume were the doctor and nurse. “Am I sick? Am I gonna die?” I said softly. My mom hugged me tighter and her chin drop to my elbow. “We believe that what is causing your headaches is a small tumor in your brain, blocking your brain from getting enough oxygen.” The doctor said. “A – Tumor? As if as cancer?” I said mumbling trying to get the words out of my tongue. “We are still not sure yet. As you see all we have in our hands are bunch of blood test we took of you in the ICU. We need to do a variety of testing to see if our hypothesis is true.” The doctor said. “And if is not?” My dad said really loud. “Well then sir, your daughter is probably just having a migraine problem.” The nurse said softly. “And what if your hypothesis is true?” I heard myself say softly. “We would have to offer you the best we can, but we can’t assure you anything until we have those test.” The doctor said. “Well what are you waiting for? Take the damn test!” I said brutally. “The test will be taken in a small clinic, but you must stay and sleep there for 2 weeks. So they will be able to have a close watch on you and your brain.” The doctor said and look at my parents. “Her last day of school is tomorrow. She can take the test right after school ends.” My dad said. “Very well then.” “No wait! I going on vacation with Kyle right after school ends remember?” I said rapidly. “April I am sorry!” My dad said and walked towards me. “Dad no. I have to go. We have been planning this since the beginning of school!” I said trying to argue. “April! Your health comes first!” My dad said desperately towards me. “Dad, I promise I will do the test, right after I come back from the trip!! Please!” I said begging. “April, you’re going to take those test right after school, and that is that!” My mom said letting go of me and walked to my father. She cleaned her eyes slowly with her hand and turn towards the doctor. “Is there any arrangements we have to do? Before our daughter goes to take those test?” My mom asked slowly. “There is some papers you will have to sign and know the risks of the tests, but other than that we will do a few calls and April should be ready to go.” The doctor said forcing a smile. “Great… let’s finish this…” My dad said and walked outside with the doctor and my mom. “Don’t get upset. This for your own good, sweetie.” The nurse said with a smile. “Yeah… I guess… is better to know now that I am going to die then to know later…” I said turning myself to the other side of the bed. “Oh sweetie….” The nurse said and injected me some sort of medicine to make go to sleep.

I must have slept for a long time, when I woke up I was in the back seat of my mom, red comfy car, next to my mom. Man I was heavy sleeper, that nurse did drug me. I sat up slowly, trying to figure out where we were but my whole brain was spinning. “We are here! Oh good! Your awake sweetie!” My dad said turning to the back seat, as he parked. I nodded my head with confusion. I turn towards my mom, she really was very quiet and would just give me a small smile. As I got out the car, Charlie, my dog, came running on top of me. He jumped on top of me and started to lick all my face. “Charlie! Okay! I miss you too!” I said pushing him away and tried to stand up. “Come on let’s go inside… we need some rest….” My dad said smiling, I nodded and followed him to the entrance, Charlie as well. I threw my bag of clothes to the sofa and started walking to my room. “Sweetie, do you wanna eat something?” My mom asked concerned. “No. Thank You. I am not hungry.” I said and up the stairs I went. I locked the door of my room, closed the curtains of my windows. I walked to my bathroom sat on bathtub and turn on the shower. The water quickly exploded and I my dry body immediately became soaked. I sat there for quite a while, just thinking of what would happened if I did have cancer. My whole life will change. Indeed my whole life had already changed. “April? Are you okay?” My mom said knocking on my door, interrupting my thoughts. “Yeah, mom. I am just taking a shower!” I yelled the hardest I could. “Open the door….” My mom said a little upset. “Umm I am taking a shower mom!” I yelled again. “I will be back in five minutes okay?” My mom yelled back. I quickly got out of the shower changed from my wet close to my PJs and ran to the room. “Okay I am out!” I said opening the door. “Are you okay? Are you hiding something?” My mom asked curiously. “Nope. Nothing.” I said opening the door widely. “Okay… Go to bed now. You have school tomorrow.” My mom said and walked away. “Right…Good night…” I said softly. I closed the door softly, trying not to make any noise. I walked to my window, the moon was beautiful. I open the door to my window quietly and slowly walked to my balcony. I sat on one of the beach chairs I had. I cover myself with a blanket. I looked up at the stars. “Why?” I asked softly. “Why me?” I asked again. “What did I do wrong?” I asked waiting for the stars to answer me. One of them glowed suddenly but that was just out of the blue, I guessed. I closed my eyes slowly tears came running down my cheeks. I felt so weak, I was crying like a baby. But I couldn’t help it, I never said I was strong. I jumped to my bed throwing all my stuff animals to the floor. Man I miss my bed, I hated hospitals. There was nothing comfy about them. I turn to my side. The headache was back. I just decided to close my eyes. I saw this girl sitting in a white bench all alone. The girl was blond, she had really long hair. Her hair was covering her entire face and she was looking down. She was very skinny, very petite also, well maybe just about my size, she was wearing a white dress till her knees. She was singing quietly. “La-La-La-La-La” She sang but kept her head down. I walked slowly towards her, her singing was louder. I stopped for a second, she stopped singing too. I walked again and she sang again. I kept walking, her singing became really loud again. As I got to the bench I walked slower. “Hi….I am April… Who are you?” I asked. “La-La-La-La!” The girl kept singing. “Hey! Who are you?” I said trying to stop from singing. “La-La-La-La-La!” The girl kept singing. “Hey! Can you stop singing its giving me a headache?” I yelled. But she kept singing. “Stop singing! Who are you?!” I yelled pushing her. She suddenly stood up. “La-La-La-La-La!” “Hey! I said pulling her to turn to me!” I froze as she pushed me back and started walking. “Not yet.” She said and walked away. My headache started harder, my vision got blurry and my world went black. I woke up on the floor, no wonder my head hurt. I stood up suddenly and turn to my pink clock next to my bed. 6 a.m. I threw my clock to the floor and ran to my closet. I threw all my clothes to my bed and got the first thing I saw. “Sweetie! Breakfast is ready!” I heard my mom yelled. “Coming!” I said getting my bag and ran downstairs. “Morning!” I said with a big smile and walked to the kitchen. “Morning sweetie! Breakfast is on the table!” My mom said “I am not really that hungry!” I said walking to the table. “Well you have to eat something!” My mom said smiling and sat in front of me. “It’s your favorite, French toast.” She said taking a bite. “I am sorry mom, I am just not hungry today.” I said pushing the plate away. “Someone isn’t in a good mood today… huh?” She said taking a zip from her coffee. “I am just not hungry today….” I said and drank juice. “Good morning!” My dad said fixing his tie. “Morning!” We both said at the same time. “Not too sure about the “Good” though, I sadly still have to go to school.” I said smiling. “And I have to go to work! I have to run and finish a few things!” My dad said and kissed my forehead. “You are not gonna eat breakfast?” My mom said pointing to the table. “No sorry, I am in a hurry. I will buy something on the way over there.” He said and gave my mom a small kiss. “But I made a lot of French toast….”Mom said upset. “Take it to work sweetie… they love your cooking!” He said and ran to get the car keys. “See you girls at dinner.” He said and ran outside. “Dad! Wait!” I ran outside rapidly. “Yeah?” He asked rapidly. “Can I please go on vacation with Kyle? Please! Please!” I begged rapidly. “We talked about this already April…No.” Dad said annoyed. “But….Dad…” I argued. “End of story.” He said and got on the car. I walked back to the kitchen, and sat on the table. “April…. I have to go to work….” My mom said with a hurry. “Oh okay….” I said. “Your dad and I decided we will be taking you to school today. So hurry up. I have to go.” I shook my head and got my back-pack. School wasn’t very far from where I lived. It’s like ten minutes on bike. Kyle and I always go to school riding our bikes. He says it will help us get fit. I just do it to make him happy. But today I wasn’t feeling so energetic, my parents decided it was best to drive me to school today. I manly agreed so I wouldn’t have to see Kyle. The ride to school was very fast. Most of it was very quiet, until I decided to open my big mouth. “Mom….” I said softly. “Yeah?” Mom said trying to speak over the radio. “I was wondering if you could talk to my dad about my summer trip….”I said nervously. “April not this again…” She said annoyed. “I was just wondering…..” I said turning towards the window. “Well stop wondering…. The answer is no!” She yelled. “But why? Is not fair mom! We planned this since last year! Do you have any idea how mad Kyle and Chloe will be. No you don’t! Please mom! “”April! I honestly don’t care! Life isn’t fair!” Mom yelled really loud. I just kept quiet and turn off the radio. “Do you think I want to be in this situation?! No I don’t! Trust me I would want you to go to that trip. I want many things but we don’t get all we want. Stop being so spoiled and just get over it.” She added and kept running. “Life isn’t about fairness, it’s about living life to the fullest. If you want something you got to work for it. Stop blaming fairness and start living life.” I said softly. I felt my mom relax for a second. Her breath was slower, she was about to say something but she just kept quiet.

I am sophomore in Franklyn High School. Pretty soon I will be a junior, I am so excited. I play volleyball and sometimes soccer but that’s about it. I have two best friends. Kyle and Chloe. Kyle is my almost my half twin, he is funny, really athletic, and is one of the most popular guys in our year class. He has black hair, hazel eyes and really soft hands. Chloe is the crazy one, she has blonde hair, blue eyes, she doesn’t play any sports but she is in the dancing group. She as well is very popular. I am just the third wheel that hangs out with them. I have wavy brown hair below my elbows, and brown eyes. Today I was feeling so lazy I just decided to wear my favorite jeans and a pink blouse I got for my birthday. “Okay we are here!” Mom said “Great… let the torture began…” I said and got out of the car. “Take care sweetie…”She said rolling down the window. “Yeah I guess…” I said and walked away. As I walked, I saw Kyle running towards me with an angry face. He must have been waiting for me. I decided to keep on walking. “April! What happened? You kept me waiting.” Kyle said walking towards me. “Sorry, my mom decided to drive me to school…” I said avoiding eye contact. “Why? What happened? Are you okay?” Kyle asked getting me by the arm. “Yeah I—just wasn’t feeling so energetic today” I said walking to the classroom. “Oh okay….”Kyle said softly. “Anyway did you hear about Monique? The smartass girl who sits in front of us in math?” Kyle asked shocked. “No… what about her?” I asked not caring at all. “She found out she has breast cancer….” Kyle said shocked. “She – Has cancer?” I said trying to get out my words. “Yeah… A lot of students started to call her names and stuff and…”Kyle kept saying. “Can we please not talk about that… let’s change topic…” I said rapidly. “Okay… ready for our vacation?! I already have everything pack!” Kyle said with a big smile. “Oh yeah about that…. I am not going…” I said softly. “What?!” Kyle yelled. “Well Good morning Ms. Logan and Mr. King, please take a seat.” Mr. Rodriguez, our history teacher said and pointed to our seats. We both nodded rapidly and ran to our seats. During the whole class time Kyle tried to send me notes, asking me about our vacation. I felt bad enough now, I couldn’t bare seen him right now. I avoided him as much as possible. “Okay children… the ceremony is about to start, please walk nicely to the gym. Class dismiss.” Mr. Rodriguez said and whistled at us like if we were a bunch of dogs. We all picked up our notebooks and ran to the door. I like always was the last one out, I was always left behind. As I walked out I saw Kyle next to the door. I smiled softly. “Took you long enough.” He said and smirked at me. “Sorry, I didn’t want to get jumped or pushed on…” I said softly. “Same old April…”He said laughing. I froze for a second, for some reason I didn’t feel the same, I felt this strange feeling in my whole body. It was like if I was in a different body, but nothing had change I was the same old me. “Come one Chloe is probably waiting for us.” He said and pulled me, we ran to the Gym as fast as we could. The gym was full, well more than full it was pack. Everyone was yelling and singing and even dancing. Yes one of them was Chloe. “Over here guys!” Chloe yelled happily. We ran to our seats trying not to get in anyone’s way. “Where were you guys! I been waiting forever!” Chloe yelled. “Your little friend couldn’t get out of the classroom…” Kyle said laughing. “Hey! Idiot!” I said pushing him towards Chloe. “Hello Tigers! “Our principle yelled. “Hi!! Ahhhh!!” Most of the students yelled. “Welcome to our step-up ceremony!” He said. The seniors passed into the middle gym and sat down. The principle talked and talked about how a wonderful class they were and wish them the best in their life. All the seniors finally stood up, they waved good bye at us and walked out to the world.\ “Now Juniors, please move to your new seats! You are finally seniors!” The principle yelled. All the juniors ran down to the gym yelling and singing and many of them were even crying. “Now Sophomores!” We all moved just like one inch to the right. We were finally juniors. “Now our freshman!” They had to walk to one side of the gym to the other. “Congratulations to all of you, you guys have survived another year in high school! “He yelled and handed the phone to another teacher. “Okay guys let me see who is louder!” The teacher yelled. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Everyone yelled. “Tigers! Tigers! Tigers!” Everyone kept yelling. I couldn’t get the yelling out of my head. My vision started to go blurry and my brain felt like it was getting ready to explode. I turn towards Kyle and Chloe trying to ask them for help, but they were yelling their lungs out. I stepped back trying not to lose control of my body. My headache was getting worst by the minute. I ran out of the gym as fast as I could. I ran to the bathroom and before I knew it I was throwing up. I sat next to the toilet, just staring at the white floor. I felt dizzy but mostly lazy, I just couldn’t stand up. Not now, not anytime soon. I could hear the yelling from the gym still. Man they had good lungs. “Now Juniors!” The teacher yelled. “Tigers! Tigers! Tigers!” Juniors yelled. I really wanted to be there, but at the same time I didn’t. A few days ago I was so excited for this ceremony, I even had it circle in my calendar. I would I annoy Kyle and Chloe everyday about it. I even chose a special dress I got for last summer. And now all I wanted was for the ceremony and the day to end. I just wanted to go home. I decided not to go back to the gym, the last thing I wanted to do was ruin anyone’s mood. Hey it was the last day of school, I only had to survive a few more hours. I felt this buzz in my pocket, as I took out I had like twenty messages. Wow someone was in a hurry. -“Hey where are you?”-Kyle -“Dude you are missing all the fun!”-Kyle -“Are you kidding me?!You have practically been waiting all year for this!-Kyle “Hello?!”-Kyle And the messages went on and on. I was pretty annoyed. It was lunch time, as I walked to the cafeteria the hallways were empty and so was the cafeteria. I saw the kitchen ladies were really surprised to see me. I guess they weren’t expecting anybody anytime soon. “What’s to eat today?” I asked softly. “Oh darling lasagna but it’s still not ready…. We weren’t really expecting anybody by this time….” The lunch lady said nervously. “Yeah I guessed so…. Just give me a yogurt… I am not really feeling the love for lasagna today…” I said softly. “Here you go sweetie….Sorry again….” The lunch lady said and looked at me as if I was an alien. “Thanks…” I said taking the yogurt and walked to the patio. I walked for a while, the ceremony was taking longer than I expected. I guess they were having fun. I was getting tired of walking so I walked to a small hill and sat next to a tree, we call it the Alamo because it’s so big. I started eating my yogurt, it wasn’t really that good it was pineapple my favorite is strawberry. I stared at the sun for quite a while for some reason the sun was quite low today. I started thinking about how my junior year would be and all of the sudden I felt this anger grow inside me. I felt furious, betrayed and heart broken. I threw my yogurt as hard as I could to the ground. “Stupid life!” I yelled angrily. “Nice throw…”I heard a royal voice behind me. I felt somebody sat next to me, I didn’t have to turn to see who it was, I knew that voice like the palm of my hand. “Somebody woke up in a mad mood huh?” She said laughing. “I am not in a bad mood…. I am just out of this world…Chloe…” I said softly. “April…. You are always out of this world… I think the problem is that for the first time in forever you are actually in this world.” Chloe said and stared at the sun. “Being in this world is painful and confusing….then.” I said resting my head in my knees. “You are making it look harder than it seems… yeah there is a lot of pain and tears and mean people but there is also happiness, love and sweet people…. Like you.” She said smiling. “You make it seem so easy…. You got the best of both worlds….” I said annoyed. “No. You are wrong, I don’t live in two worlds… I live in one, and you live in the other one. This is why we are best friends’ cause we live in different worlds, we are the perfect match.” She said smiling. “You’re so dumb sometimes, but you always know how to make me smile…” I said smiling a little. “You know what I mean though, and that’s all that matters…” Chloe said smiling. “Anyway what’s up with you? You left the ceremony… you missed everything!” She added confused. “I mean you had been waiting for this ceremony for the whole year. This past few days that’s all you talked about. You even choose an outfit, and then you show up with jeans? The minute I saw you I knew something was up! I mean Kyle might be blind but you can’t trick me so spill it.” She said rapidly. “I wasn’t feeling good at all….” I said looking up. “You know the usual… headaches.” I added. “Another headache? God April you got tell your mom to give you some migraine pills…. They are not getting any better...” She said like if she was my mom. “She already knows about the headaches…. I wasn’t gonna tell her but a few things happened this weekend…” I said. “What did she say? You got of take care of this now… is ruining your life! Wait what happened?” She said rapidly. “So last Saturday night I got this huge headache while I was sleep, it was so bad it woke me up. I couldn’t stop yelling and crying from the pain, I felt dizzy and I even fainted. My parents had to take me to the hospital…” I said. “What? Hospital! How come you didn’t call me?!”Chloe said chocked. “Well you know it was in the middle of the night, I did have a huge painful headache, I don’t think I would of found my phone and well I was unconscious for most of the time….” I said sarcastically. “Uh Duh! I knew that!” Chloe said laughing. “So what did the doctors tell you?” She asked confused. “Ehhh you know the usual… That-I-Might-Have-A-Tumor-In-My-Brain!” I said really fast so she couldn’t understand me. “What!?!?! April! The usual? Are you kidding me! Please tell me you are joking!” Chloe yelled turning towards me. I turn to see her and her eyes were watery. In that moment I regretted telling her. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt and worry my almost sister. Chloe was the closest I had to a sister, even though I had a sister but I wasn’t really as close to her as I was to Chloe. I wanted to tell her I was joking but in the end she would have got it out from me anytime soon. “I am not. I wish I was but hey you know that’s life.” I said faking a smile. “Why are you smiling? This isn’t something you play with!” She said still in shocked. “They said “might” so you never know…” I said smiling. “So how are they gonna know if you do have it?” She asked more relax. “They are gonna do some test on me this summer.” I said lowering my head. “So you won’t be going on vacation with us?” She said sadly. “No…. I am sorry...” I said about to cry. “Oh God April… Don’t be sorry sweetie…. I am not mad. I am just worried…. But you gotta do what’s best for your health…” Chloe said smiling. “I really wanted to go…” I said “There is always next time! “Chloe said smiling. “What if there is no next time?” I said really negative “There will be, I promise!” She said and hugged me. “I love you so much Chloe….” I said and hugged her back. “Not as much as you love Kyle…. But love is love… I love you too!” She said and a tear went down her cheeks and dropped to my knees. That was the moment when I realized that Chloe was hurt, and it was all my fault. “You two okay?” Kyle said from the back. “Umm yeah… yeah…” Chloe said letting go of me and turn towards Kyle. “Am I interrupting something… I could leave you girls alone….” Kyle said stepping back. “What? No! Stay! Come on Mr. King we are the three musketeers!” Chloe said and gave him a sign to sit next to her. “Right A?” She added. “Totally! We are inseparable!” I said smiling. “Yeah I guess…. Wait were you crying April?” He said passing his soft hands through my cheeks. I tilted my head feeling his warmness. I felt my soul relax for a minute, but that minute felt like an eternity. “Umm no… she just has allergies…” Chloe said hitting on me on the arm to wake up. “Umm… yeah allergies…” I said opening my eyes rapidly. “You got me worry for a second there…” Kyle said smiling. I just blushed. “Hey by the way how come you left the ceremony? You missed everything!” Kyle said curiously and laid down on the grass. “She had allergies, she wasn’t feeling so good!” Chloe said for me. “I wasn’t asking you Chloe! April?” Kyle said as if not believing Chloe. “Yeah, but I feel better now…” I said with a soft smile. “Well you better because tomorrow, our vacation starts and Hawaii is waiting for us.” Kyle said smiling. “Kyle… I told you already….I am not going.” I said forcibly. “Ha-ha nice joke! Come on A! Get excited!” Kyle said laughing. “Why would I get excited? I already told you…. I am not going!” I said annoyed. “You are joking right?” Kyle said sitting up again. “No, I am not joking. I am not going.” I said softly. “Come on A… This isn’t April fool’s day…” Kyle said annoyed. “Kyle…. She is not going… she is not joking.” Chloe said all of the sudden. “Some things came up, I won’t make it, Sorry.” I said “Sorry? That’s all you have to say? We have been planning this vacation since last year. And you tell me now you are not going!? This is bullshit April!” Kyle said really mad. “If you didn’t wanna go, you should of just said and stop joking around.” He added. “Why does everybody think I am joking today?! Why would I joke about something like that?! I did want to go Kyle, but I can’t anymore. I am sorry, life is rough. I am not going Kyle! Okay?! Just get over it!” I yelled and rapidly stood up. “Idiot!” I yelled and ran off. “Wait….April!” Kyle yelled, but I just kept running as fast as I could. “What’s with her?” Kyle asked confused. “Did I say something wrong?” He added. “Girl things…. You will never understand…” Chloe said and stood up. “It’s April…. I know her better than anyone else… better than you…” Kyle said standing up as well. “There is just some things you will never understand….just let it go Kyle….” Chloe said and started walking away. Kyle just stood there more confused than he was before. “Now if you excuse me I have a class to go too…” And she disappeared. “What’s with you April…..” Kyle whispered and laid back down in the grass.

After school ended I ran as fast as I could back home. My parents couldn’t pick me up because they had to work. I slowed down after my breath went down. All I could think about was about Monique. She wasn’t that bad of a person. She was very smart, she would always have the right answers in math class. Everybody wanted to be her partner when we needed to team up. She was also very sweet and lovable. Everyone loved her, including myself. But now everybody just talk about her like she was a terrorist or something. Why am I am talking about her in past tens? Because she is no longer that girl I had for math class, she is now the girl with cancer. “Hey A!” Chloe said running towards me. I stopped suddenly forgetting I was in the middle of the street. Chloe was right, I spend most of my time out of this world. “Finally caught up too you!” She said hugging me by the side. “What’s up?” I said smiling. “Did you talk to Kyle?” She said with a frown. “He seem pretty worry when you left!” She added. “No… Honestly I don’t want to talk to him….” I said and kept walking. “Are you even gonna tell him?” She asked trying to walk at my speed. “No… not for now… I am just gonna wait…. I wasn’t even suppose too tell you.” I said and slowed down. “Ahhhh I get it you wanna make sure first…. But you have to tell him, he seemed worry… whenever it comes to you…. You know he we do anything.” She said worried. “I don’t want to worry him!” I said annoyed and started walking slower. “If you don’t tell him…I will!” Chloe said all of the sudden. “He needs to know April. You mean the world to him.” She added. I suddenly froze and turn to her. “No! You better not tell him! Chloe you have to promise me you are not gonna tell him!” I said holding her by both arms. “But….”She said a little scared. “Promise me!” I said holding her harder. “Kyle is Kyle. He will never understand. Promise me!” I kept holding harder. “Okay…okay I promise…” she said softly, and I rapidly let go. I realized that I was scaring her, her face was full of fear and her eyes were watery. This thing was taking over my mind. I was pushing away one of my best friends and I didn’t even know if it was real or not. “I-I-I I gotta go…” I said softly and little by little stepped back. “April…..” She said scared. “I’ll call you later… yeah? Don’t worry about me…. I am fine!” I said, faked a smile and ran as fast as I could to my house. I had forgotten my keys so I had to get in by braking into my own house using the window in the dining room. I was tired, annoyed and really bored. I turn on the T.V and started watching my favorite Disney shows. Yes I still watch Disney. I jumped to the sofa, threw my red converse the farthest I could. I lay down in the couch just changing the channel every five minutes. I couldn’t stop thinking about Monique, Kyle, Chloe and myself. I felt very bad for both I mean like Monique she was probably really sad and depressed and well Kyle he probably hates me now. I decided not to tell Kyle about the tumor in my brain. I mean first because the doctors weren’t even hundred percent sure. Like maybe this was a big mistake. Second because it wouldn’t have been fair to ruin his vacation, he probably wouldn’t have gone. He seemed really excited, and I could never live with the fact knowing I was the reason he didn’t go. Lastly was because the last thing I wanted was his pity and the whole school knowing. I was also worried about Chloe, I was so busy in my problems, I accidentally told her about my headaches. That wasn’t really what worried, what worried was how scared she seemed when I got her by the arms. The last thing I wanted to do to her was push her away. I need her now next to me more than ever. My headache was back, I guess of all the thinking. I have had this headache for several months but I never really worried about it until like today. I always thought it was a migraine problem, since my mom has always suffered that. How in the world was I supposed to think I had a tumor in my brain? This is why I hate doctors they make the simplest things into big hard core problems. They never have good news. I was really starting to get hungry and my mom was nowhere to be seen. It’s weird how cancer or any other disease changes your life and family completely. I mean like a few days ago my mom would always be here like ten minutes after me or she would at least call me. Now since like yesterday there is this sudden distance between us. I feel like we are avoiding each other, I don’t like that. Well maybe I am avoiding her the most but that’s what teens do this days… don’t they? I mean she is not even trying to get close to me. And my dad well his kind of weird too, he calls me all of the sudden “sweetie” for everything. But he has always been distance so there is nothing different. I think they are both just in shocked and they are trying to get over their head. I mean I know I am probably dying and whatever but that does not give them the right to let their poor daughter die of hunger. Nope. Not acceptable.

“Sweetie, wake up.” My dad said almost throwing me off the couch. “Hey…Okay…Okay…I am awake!” I yelled almost falling of the couch. “Sorry sweetie…. You seemed pretty knocked out…”Dad said with a worry face. “What? You thought I was dead?” I said laughing and walked to the kitchen to get some water. “There is nothing funny about that April. Death is not to be play around with.” Dad said a little upset. “Sorry… I was just trying to light up the mood here…I feel like you guys are like avoiding the whole subject here.” I said opening the refrigerator trying to find my special water bottle. “Avoiding the subject??”My dad asked almost as he was ignoring the subject. “Yes avoid—ding” “I am home! And I brought dinner!” My mom yelled happily. “You bought dinner?!” We both yelled “She bought dinner? She hates buying dinner! See what I mean! Avoiding the subject!” I yelled quietly so mom wouldn’t hear us. I close the refrigerator and ran towards the dining room. “Mom!” I said happily and ran towards her and hugged her. You know the usual. Trying to keep it casual. Let me explain, my mom hates buying dinner. She thinks it’s really unhealthy. She try as much as possible not to eat in restaurants. That’s the only reason she learned to cook. She obsoletely hates Chinese and Japanese food with passion. She is weird I know, tell me about it. “Hey sweetie! I miss you!” My mom said hugging me really tight. The word “sweetie” is going to drive me crazy. “Me too mom…” I said trying to let go. Usually the hug latest at least 2 seconds. This one was already on the 10th second. “You bought dinner?” I asked trying to see what was on the bag. “Yeah! I bought some food from the new restaurant call “All You Can Eat Ninja Style”” My mom said smiling. “Chinese food? But you hate Chinese food!” I said really excited but really confused. “But you love it! So why not spoiled you!” My mom said trying to hug me. “Hey Sweetie! How was work?” My dad came out the kitchen with a big smile. “Eh…you know sweetie! The usual! I just couldn’t wait to be home with you two!” My mom said smiling. “Hungry? I bought dinner?!” She said so happily. “Yeah…. So I heard…” Dad said confused. “April set the table! Hurry! “My mom said pushing me. I nodded really confused, this wasn’t my mom. It was like if she was exchange for her evil twin. “See avoiding….” I whispered as I walked by my dad. He just ignored me. The food was so good, my mom wasn’t really good at picking Chinese food, but this time she nailed it. I couldn’t wait to go there and eat all I could eat. The dinner was kind of awkward though, well at least for me it was. All they will do is smile at every single thing I did. It was like they are watching my every move. “This was delicious…” I said eating the last noodle. “I glad you liked it sweetie!” My mom said smiling and looked at her plate which was still full. “So how was your last day of school?” My dad while taking a bite. “It was okay…same old boring school.” I said with a smile. “Well that’s good I guess sweetie…” The both said. “We had the ceremony today too… it was okay.” I said. “But there is girl name Monique I had her for math class and well I heard she just find out she has breast cancer!” I said all of the sudden. The table all of the sudden was quiet, really quiet. “We would send them a bouquet of flowers, explaining or condolences…” My mom said actually trying to eat. “Condolences? Why? She is not dead yet! I think the last thing she wants is a bouquet of flowers from us mom. I mean I think maybe their family actually wants support to what is gonna happen next. I am pretty sure she wants to be a survivor and have treatment.” I said annoyed. “A bouquet of flowers would be a great way to express ourselves. We should not get involved. Let them be.” My mom said quietly. “But…”I said trying to explain myself. “I agree with your mom this time, sweetie. We should not get involved. A bouquet of flowers will be lovely.” My dad said smiling. “No. What I mean is don’t send anything.” I said super annoyed. “Sweetie…” They both said. “Don’t call me Sweetie!” I yelled. They both suddenly faced me. “Stop avoiding me. Last night I thought about it.” I said softly. “Thought about what?” They both asked quietly. “Don’t act dumb. Tumor. My brain. Hello? After the testing, and if I come out positive. What are we gonna do? I mean we can’t avoid it for long. But I don’t want to become Monique either. I don’t want condolences from anyone. Or their pity. I wanna be alone, with you by my side but that’s it.” I said softly. “Very well then.” My mom said and picked off her plate. “Mom…”I said but she left to the kitchen. “Dad?” I said turning towards him “If that’s your wish then…. We will do it…” My dad standing up kissed me on the forehead and left the table too. I felt really lonely now. I mean they said they would support me but it kind of felt like they were trying make my last wishes true. I mean I wanted that, but I wanted them to understand me, to understand why I was doing this. But they didn’t because they are my parents and whether they like it or not they are force to deal with me and with whatever it’s happening inside me. I just wish I didn’t have to hurt anyone but myself. I went up my room exhausted. I closed the door slowly so no one would hear. I walked to my balcony and sat on my beach chair. I got my phone out of my pocket just too see if I had any messages. I had one. My heart started palpitating. For a moment there I thought it was from Kyle, but my hopes went down when I realized it was from Chloe, not that it bother me of course. “Hey.”- Chloe “Aloha! “ I texted back, I waited a while for text message but she never reply back. She was probably too busy packing to answer. I walked back to my bed. I turn off my phone, because I wanted to sleep, that’s all I wanted to sleep. I jumped to my bed and closed my eyes. Tomorrow would become the start of my new life, and my summer.

I woke up really early, my parents were still sleep. I got the biggest bag I had and started feeling it with two pair of clothes, lots of movies, and games. I didn’t really need that much clothes, I was staying two weeks in a hospital not in Hawaii. I walked down stairs and threw my bag next to the door. Man I was starving. I got some chocolate cereal and milk and saw T.V for a while. When I suddenly heard a knock on the door. I ran to the door rapidly and opened it as fast I could. To my surprise my two best friends where right behind that door. “Hey guys! What are you doing here?” I asked confused with a big smile. “We wanted to say goodbye before we left.” Chloe said smiling and got in front of Kyle. “Oh okay… well bye then!” I said and hugged Chloe really tight. “I am gonna miss ya so much!” She said and hugged tighter. “Take care okay! Kiss a cute Hawaiian boy for me!” I said laughing. “I will!” She giggle and walked back to the car. Now it was just Kyle and me. It was really awkward because he was just staring at me with his hazel eyes. I really wanted to close the door before he said something. “I have to go…” He said pointing at the car. “Um yeah of course…. Go.” I said pointing him to go. He walked away slowly, and instead of closing the door I just stood there like an idiot. I suddenly felt a warm body close to mine. Kyle hands folded on my back. I would of hugged back but I couldn’t move my hands at all. “I am gonna miss you…. Like you have no idea how much…. Chloe is gonna drive me nuts!” He whispered in my ear. He let go and ran as fast as he could to the car, I just waved until they disappeared. “I am so sorry sweetie.” Mom said from the back. I turn to her and slowly closed the door. “It’s okay. Life goes on. Right?” I said and walked passed her. I knew I was hurting her, but she was hurting me too. I hated how she didn’t know who to approach me, it made me feel like if I was complicated. I am not complicated, I am just as chocked as she is. The clinic was very colorful, I mean is not what someone would expect when they would think of a clinic. But it was a children’s clinic so it had to be happy. We were early to our appointment with the doctor. So we walked around the clinic for a little while just to see how everything worked. I saw a lot of children of all ages, I was very surprised I didn’t know how much children were sick, I didn’t feel that alone anymore. “Mrs. and Mr. Logan you may come in, if you wish.” Dr. Blue said. They both nodded and slowly walked towards the doctor’s office, I followed. “Ms. Logan, you wait out here. This a grown up talk.” Dr. Blue said smiling at me, her brown eyes were really shiny, I wondered if she had contacts. I nodded and sat in one of the chair facing the main hall of the clinic. It was funny how she treated me like a little kid. We were here because of me. I think I deserve the right to know what they are gonna do to my poor body and my brain right? I decided to take my phone out, just to see if I had any new messages. Not one single message from anyone. Not from Chloe not from Kyle. He didn’t even bother to tell he was already in Hawaii. I was actually really mad at him. He didn’t stay, I mean I know I said I didn’t want him to stay, but as a good friend he should have stayed. I guess what bothered me the most was that he didn’t beg me to know what was going on. He just left. “Have fun…” I texted him really angrily. “You too…” He texted back very fast. I smiled, he was waiting for my text, what an idiot. “Ahhhh!!” I heard a really loud yelled from the very corner of the hall. I saw all the nurses run to the room. “Ahhhh!” The kid yelled again. I couldn’t help it I was so curious, so I started walking. The closer I got the louder the yelling got. “Ahhhh!” I heard the kid yelled again. I froze at the side of the room. “I wanna die! I wanna die! I wanna die!” The kid yelled. I couldn’t figure out if he was a girl or boy, but man the kid was angry. “You all worthless shit!!” The kid yelled. “You all deserve to die! Not me!” The kid yelled. “This world sucks, it all sucks! You suck too!!” The kid said yelling at his parents. I could figure out he was a guy since he had a really strong voice. His parents were crying their eye balls out. “Sweetie… You don’t mean that!” His mom said softly. “I hate you all!” He said super loud. “Hey idiot! Watch your mouth!” I heard myself yelled all of the sudden. They all turn at me. “Who are you?!” The boy asked angrily. “Well I am thankfully not you. You better apologize to every single one of them here. Because none of them deserve to be treated like that. You should be thankful your parents are here with you. And that all this nurses are trying to keep you alive. You’re sick I get it. But don’t blame them, be a men and get over it.” I said angrily and turn around and walked back to my chair. “Well that was quite interesting, missy.” Dr. Blue said smiling at me. “Your smiling just gave me a headache.” I said annoyed. She laughed sarcastically. “You’re frown just gave me a headache.” She said smiling. “You should go check that out, it might be a tumor.” I said brutally and sat. “Well…. Let’s go check your room.” She said guiding me around the hall. I just followed quietly. “Here it is.” Dr. Blue said entering the room. The room was actually big with a large enough bed for me. Two couches on the right corner. A small table set for three right next to the window. And an extra bed for a visitor. Which meant only one of my parents would stay with me. Obliviously my mom would stay and my dad would go back home. Why? I don’t know is just a rule in all families I guess. “Enjoy.” Dr. Blue said and left the room. To make this two dramatic boring weeks short, I will just tell you what happened in a brief summary. The first few days were okay, nurses would only take lots of blood test like every five hours. I would watch cheesy movies with my mom all day and eat lots of ice cream. But then the week past and nurses started to give me lots of medicine better yet said drugs. I would have like ten pills a day and be injected like five times. Yes it was terrible and they freaking hurt. You know what was the worst part? Listening to families cry every freaking night after their little angle had passed away. It was horrible. I could just imagine my family there. I know what you’re thinking stop being so negative, maybe I wasn’t sick. But I was. How did I know? Well because ever since I got to the clinic my headaches were worst every day. It came to a point that I would have a headache and literally faint out the pain. My pain would go away right after I felt sleep. I guess because my brain would not have to work that much when I would sleep. Anyway PET scan, after ten pills, after injections, headaches, faint, PET scan and again and again and again. I talked to a Chloe once every three days, she seemed happy but whenever she asked me how was I doing her tone became worried. I haven’t heard from Kyle ever since he left. I guess he was lying, he wasn’t gonna miss me at all. Anyway, Yup, that was my life for two weeks, which felt like a year.

The day finally came where the Dr. Blue will tell my parents I was sick, and that I was gonna die. My parents would cry and I, would probably become that kid I met the first day in the clinic. My parents were really quite. I think they knew. I knew… they should too. “You know I am sick right?” I said softly. “We know…” My dad said not looking at me. “I – am sorry… I don’t know what I did wrong…” I said all of the sudden. “I mean every night when I hear the parents crying because their angle has died… I imagine you guys. And it hurts me to know that I will hurt you a lot. I mean after Dr. Blue tells us I am sick. I will not just ruin my life, but yours too. And I think and think and think and I just don’t know what I did wrong to have gotten this thing stuck in my head! I am sorry… I am very sorry… I couldn’t help it. I just wish all this pain could not happened. I wish I could have a choice. But I didn’t and I don’t have it now. I wish you guys would have a choice too… But you’re my parents and have to deal with me. I am just very sorry…. I really do want you by my side…. I am just very sorry…” I said softly and tears just went down my cheeks. It was quite for a while, I just look down at my hands. I saw how my tears dropped slowly. I try to stop crying, but that feeling my throat was harder and my crying was faster. I suddenly felt this warm pressure against me. “It’s okay sweetie, cry. Cry all you want. Cry until you have no more tears left. Cry. I am here with you. We are here for you. No matter what. Okay?” I heard my mom said hugging me really tight. My crying was harder and faster. I felt my tears run down faster and I leaned towards my mom. After a while of crying I stopped, the room was quite again. “No.” I said brutally. “I don’t want to cry. No. Not anymore.” I said pushing her away. I rapidly clean my tears out of my eyes and looked down again. “I am sick. So what. It’s not the end of the world. I don’t want to cry. Things happened for a reason. I will get over it. Just like I always do.” I said but kept looking down. “I am glad you made this easier for me.” Dr. Blue said coming into the room. I looked at her, she had this really serious face. That moment I felt my stomach turn upside down. Even though I said I knew I was sick, I still had a small hope that everything would be a big mistake. I nodded slowly and stood up. “Sweetie where are you going?” My dad said standing up. “I am going for a walk.” I said softly and got my phone. “I’ll go with you sweetie…” My mom said getting her purse rapidly. “Alone. I just need to be alone.” I said brutally and ran out of the room. I felt bad for pushing her away. But I needed to be alone. I wanted to get this over my head. She wouldn’t understand. I was broken into small pieces, my whole life just made a 360 degree turn. I scrolled down my phone rapidly trying to stop the tears from going down. “K….kkkk…” I said rapidly. “Kyle.” I said and pressed the call icon. “Hey this Kyle! Sorry I missed your call! I am probably with this super-hot Hawaiian chick right now! But don’t worry dude! I’ll call you later!” Thanks… Bye.” Kyle voice mail said. “Ughh… You idiot!” I said yelling rapidly and threw the phone to the floor. “Idiot! Why would you leave! I will never forgive you for this!” I said dropping to the floor. I realized how dumb I must looked so I stood rapidly and picked up my phone. I walked to the small garden right in the middle of the clinic and sat in one of the benches close enough to the play-ground. All this kids where playing so happily. Like they had no clue in the world they were dying. I wonder how they did it. They must be really brave. I looked down my phone and went to my pictures. There was one where Chloe and I were sitting on shopping carts like if we were about to race and Kyle was the finish line. I smile softly. There was this other one where we were all sitting in the corner of our tree-house. I turn my phone off before I would get emotional again. I turn towards the kids in the play-ground again. “They look so happy huh?” A blonde girl said sitting next to me. I turn rapidly. “Like they have no clue in the world they are dying.” She said softly and smile. “Don’t you wonder how they do it? They are so brave.” She said again and smile. “No I don’t.” I said lying. It was like she had read my mind. Which was very creepy. “Well I do. I wish I was as brave as them. But I could never act that happy.” She said and smiled. “They are not acting. They are happy.” I said brutally. “Well we have different definitions of been happy then.” She said smiling and turn towards me. “Carly by the way.” She said putting her hand up. “April Logan.” I said and shocked her hand. “Very nice to meet you April. Why are you here? You don’t look sick.” Carly asked confused. “Tumor. Brain. Long story. You?” I said rapidly. “Leukemia… 2 years now.” She said really loud and smiled. “Oh well sorry…” I said looking away. “Don’t be. I don’t want your pity.” Carly said smiling. “Are you staying here for long?” She asked suddenly. “No. I am leaving tomorrow morning.” I said softly. “Wow you are brave, I could never leave this place. Like ever.” She said and turn towards the kids. “Why?” I said trying to stop myself from talking. “Why? Well that’s the one question that no one’s has bothered to ask me. You see I have no life. This thing inside me took everything I had and everything I loved and burned it all away. I could never go back to my old life, because I will never be the old me again. I have been in the middle of dying but here I am watching those kids laugh their soul and heart out. That’s why I say I wish I was as brave as them. I wish I had my soul and my heart as pure as they do. But mine have been broken, and it can never be fixed. “We think alike. I feel the same way you do. But differently, I cannot describe it. I just feel your pain, even though you have been through so much more than me.” I said quietly. “This isn’t who I usually am, this doesn’t feel like my body you know… I feel broken, I feel like I am not myself…” I added “It doesn’t matter what you have been through or how much time you have had it. What matter is if you are brave enough to realize you are dying....?” She said in a sort of asking tone. I just nodded and looked down. I tried to keep my tears from failing into my cheeks. “I am not trying to freak you out, or brake any hopes you have. It’s just that it hurts less. It’s like what they say, truth hurts but lying hurts more. You keep thinking you are gonna live you suffered more and there is more pain. But once you realize you’re dying you start to ignore the pain and you simply just forget. You just try to live life as much can, and be happy. But sadly I am not that brave yet. But those kids are. And that’s why they are my idols.” “Do you still believe your gonna live?” I said confused. “When you’re an only child, and you see your parents there taking every chance they have and wasting all the money they have to help you survive, it’s hard not to believe that. But indeed I am not that dumb and I am not that childish. I don’t believe I am gonna live, but for now I will live for them, and I would try as much as I can to fight this thing for them. Because all they have is me, and all I have is them.” Carly said smiling at me. “You’re wrong.” I said in a very confident voice. “Am I?” She said looking at me. “Yes you are. You don’t have to live for no one, or believe in something you don’t believe for no one. If you tell them you’re going to die, it doesn’t change the fact that they are gonna keep trying to keep you alive. They are your parents and they will always stay by your side and they will never give up. They also have each other, to get support from. Their life will continue with or without you.” I said in a soft tone. “I actually don’t want to go through this at all, I don’t want to suffer, and I don’t want my parents to suffer. I don’t want to be a survivor, but my parents will fight for me. They will suffer with me, and push me to beat this thing. So therefore I will fight this thing too. But not because I feel bad for my parents. But because every fight needs a fighter.” I added. “You sound like me two years ago….” She said smiling. “The only difference is I am not you… I am me.” I said. “You seem pretty confident. I was too trust me. I thought I was brave enough to fight this, to demonstrate I didn’t care. I wanted to die that’s all I wanted. I told myself I was not gonna hurt myself. But look at me now. I have had every treatment in the world. And I am still fighting, still suffering, and still alive.” She said with a smile. “I am not confident. I am just realistic. I see reality, that’s something you haven’t. That’s why you are still alive, because the truth is you wanna prove yourself wrong. You wanna live. And I just wanna get this over with.” I said and stood up. “Now if you excuse me I have a phone call to make.” I said and walked away. I walked to the hall, I could still see Carly sitting there alone. I wanted to go back and apologize but I was afraid to make things worse. I walked to the cafeteria and sat one of the booths closets to the door. One text message. -“April?! Why did you call me an idiot!?”Kyle” I rapidly deleted the text message. He didn’t answer me when I need him, I won’t answer him when he needs me. Two can play at that game. I scrolled down my contacts until I found Chloe. The phone rang like four times until a soft voice answer. “Hello?” Chloe said trying to speak over all the noise. “Sorry to bother you, this will only take a minute…”I said rapidly. “It’s okay April, take all the time you need, we are only at the beach.” She said happily. “The tests came in positive, apparently every single one.” I said holding the nudge. “The doctor just told us.” I said slower. “Um….. April…” Chloe said about to begin with her mom talk. “Don’t say a word. Just don’t say anything. I don’t want your pity. I just needed to tell someone. That’s all. Thanks.” I said softly. “Wait April no…” Chloe said, but before I could hear her say anything else I hanged up and walked back to my room. That was it, like my mom said life goes on. “I am back.” I said walking into my room. As I went in I saw dad, mom, and Dr. Blue sitting in the small table where we had dinner. There was all this bunch of papers on top of the table. My parents turn to me and gave me a fake a smile. God they were really bad at acting. “Welcome back sweetie.” Mom said softly. “Well look who decided to show up.” Dr. Blue said laughing.“What are you guys doing? Planning my death?” I said in a sarcastic tone. “Actually. Totally the opposite. I was showing your parents some treatments we can start you with. Since you are a beginner, we can kill the thing faster.” She said with a smile and turn towards my parents. “Don’t even bother, I am not getting treatment.” I said walking to my bed. “April!” Mom and Dad yelled and apologized to the Dr. Blue. “Ohh…. I am sorry I just don’t recall your parents telling me that you wouldn’t have treatment. That’s why I decided to offer these treatments.” Dr. Blue said picking up all the papers from the table. “Oh no! Dr. Blue that’s because we didn’t tell you. Please stay, we are open to the treatments you have offer us.” Mom said holding on to the papers Dr. Blue had in her hands. “You are right. They didn’t tell you. But before talking to them, you forgot to talk to me. The main person here, I am your patient not them. I should make the decisions not them.” I said angrily. “You are in no position to make decisions April! Your mind it’s still getting over the fact that you are ill. You cannot make decisions not now!” My mom said upset. “Excuse me? I am in no position? What about you guys? You guys are worse than me. You just find out that your daughter has a tumor in her brain and she is possibly going to die. You guys are in no positon either.” I said annoyed. “You are not gonna die!” My mom yelled crying. “Point proven.” I said and walked back to my bed. “It will be better if you three go home and think about this completely through. I will give you a call. Okay?” Dr. Blue said, she picked off her papers, shocked mom and dad’s hand and left the room. “See what you did? We had this all planned out. Thank you April.” My mom said and walked out of the room. I looked at my dad, he was just sitting there looking hopelessly and lost. I felt bad now, I ruined my parent’s hope of helping me beat this thing on the first day. “Are you mad at me too?” I said softly. “No sweetie, I could never be mad at you. You’re my baby.” He said and winked at me. “I just wanna go home. That’s all.” I said and walked close to him. “We will go home, if you promise me you will look at this plans Dr. Blue showed us.” My dad said handing me the folder. “I promise.” I said softly and took the folder rather annoyed. “Okay then… get everything ready. We are going home.” Dad said with a smile. “Yay! Thank you daddy!” I said and hugged him as tight as I could.

A month has passed since I left the clinic. My life was pretty normal, I guess you could say. My dad left every morning to work super early, he would give me a kiss on the forehead and ran away before my mom would ask him if he would eat breakfast. My mom well she never has been normal but she would cook breakfast every day for my dad even though she knew he wouldn’t eat it. She would sit back in the bed watching TV and drinking coffee. She would go to work right after Good Morning America ended. Yupp, nothing had changed, for the moment. “Bye sweetie. I am going to work. There is some scramble eggs in the kitchen. Eat some okay. See you later.” Mom yelled and closed the door before I could say I wasn’t hungry. I walked back to my room, all I wanted was too sleep. Not because I was depressed and wanted to die. I do don’t get me wrong, but it was so early. I need sleep, my brain wasn’t completely awake yet. I jumped to my bed and just laid down, looking at the white plain boring ceiling. “I should paint this room… one day…” I said softly trying to fall sleep again. Ever since I came back, I felt this wasn’t really my house. I wasn’t comfortable anymore. I felt like I had to make huge changes in my life, starting with that ceiling. I couldn’t stop thinking about the girl I met at the clinic. She seemed so depressed and angry at life. I felt like she was right about me, I was gonna end up like her, or maybe worst. She didn’t have no life, she didn’t have no one besides her parents. She needed someone, someone to trust, someone to be her best friend, just like I had Chloe. I shocked my head rapidly, I had to stop worrying about other people, and start worrying about me. About my life, and what I was gonna do with it. My parents hadn’t talk to me about anything, they just stared at me with this huge worry faced. I just hoped they would make the right choice. It is my life they have in their hands. I was about to fall back asleep, when I heard this huge noise outside. I jumped out of my bed and ran to my window. Kyle and Chloe were back. My heart started pumping so hard, I couldn’t stop trembling. I ran down stairs rapidly, got my shoes on as fast I could and ran outside. I could see Chloe getting out of the car, she got her luggage and placed it in a black car, probably her mom’s. Then I saw Kyle come out of his house, ready to get more luggage, I guessed. I had to see him, I need to hear his voice, and I walked slowly to my front patio. As soon I heard Kyle voice I started to walk faster. “Babe! I think that’s all the luggage.” Kyle yelled all of the sudden. I froze. Babe? Did he call Chloe babe? No not possible, Chloe and Kyle? Ewe not possible. But then this red headed almost model girl walked out of the car. She was gorgeous. She had her hair to almost her butt, and it was wavy. Her skin was so shinny not like mine, mine was pale and dry. “Let’s go in then” She said with a smile. I stepped back and hided in back of a tree. She walked towards him and gave him her bags. “Here take this.” She said and winked at him. “I am not your servant.” He said a little rough. “No… but you are my boyfriend.” She said got closer to him. Their noses were touching, their breathing became one. “You are so freaking hot!” He said and started to kiss her. “Oh My God.” I whispered. “Okay. Okay. Ewe. Ewe.” Chloe said all of the sudden. “I had to see this for a month every 5 seconds. So can you please caught it out? I want things to go back to normal. So just ewe!” Chloe said pushing them away. “Come on Chloe. Stop being so dramatic. Just leave.” Kyle said pointing to her mom’s car. “You don’t have to tell me twice. Ewe!” She said and ran to the car. As I turned back to them, they were kissing again. Ewe. I slowly walked back to my house. I felt a little depressed and angered, I ran back to my room and locked myself in. I need new friends, I mean actually friends like me. New life, new friends’ right?! My old friends didn’t even bother to tell me they were back in town. I mean not one single message or call. Why should I care about them, if they don’t even worry about me? I am dying and they don’t even care. It was still pretty early and I had nothing to do with my life. I decided that I should go out but I didn’t know where. So I remembered that girl from the clinic. Hey why not visit her. I walked through the clinic, there was nothing different about it. Kids everywhere, the clinic seemed so happy and colorful, I even forgot I was dying for a moment. “Hello? May I come in?” I said knocking on the door even though it was open. “Yes you may. Who is it?” I heard a soft voice. “April Logan… we met at the playground last time…” I said slowly walking in. “Oh yeah, how could I forget, you were so sweet.” She said with a smile. She was on her bed just staring at the wall like me. I could feel her sarcasm. “How are you feeling?” I asked sitting down. “Couldn’t be better, I feel no pain.” She said with a smile. “How about you? Getting use to your body?” She said with a smile. “I am glad. Pain everywhere. But I think it’s just mentally.” I said and smiled. “Oh I am glad… I guess too… She said laughing. I smiled softly and started to look around the room, the room was nothing like the rest of the rooms in the clinic. Almost all the rooms where colorful, and bright. But this one was all white and dark. I turned almost everywhere trying to find a window, but it was so dark I could barely even see. Finally I found it, it was right next to a small chair facing a small thin piano. “What brings you here… anyway?” Carly said faking a smile. “Um… Well you see…I was laying down in my bed staring at my plain white ceiling, with nothing to do…” I started saying. “So you decided to visit me? The sick, dying, mean, girl you met at the clinic.” She said sarcastically. “Yes. Sick girl visiting Sick girl! Doesn’t that sound awesome?!”I yelled laughing. “No. No it does not. It sounds boring, really boring.” She said and turned back to the wall. “Well I think It does, it’s better than been alone.” I said softly. “I like being alone.” She said roughly. “Look I am not here to make you uncomfortable. I just thought you don’t have friends, I don’t really have friends. Why not make each other some company. But I could leave…” I said standing up and started to walk away. “No. Wait you are right. Please stay.” She said with smile. I froze and simply smile back. “It will be my pleasure.” I said sitting back down. “What do you wanna talk about?” I asked. “Tell me about yourself.” She said smiling. “What do you wanna know?” I asked confused. “Everything!” She rapidly. “Okay well…. My life isn’t really that interesting.” I said softly. “I’ve lived here for a quite a while, we moved in when I was 5, so I could practically say, I’ve been here my whole life. Um I live with both my parents. I have a sister but she is in college right now. We don’t even talk that much. I am a junior I guess you could say in high school. I have two friends, well best friends, Kyle and Chloe. And I have a dog named Charlie, he is a golden retriever. Um yeah… I think that’s all.” I said softly and breathed again. “I though you said you didn’t have friends?” She asked confused. “Umm well, I am kind of upset at them, so for now I don’t have friends.” I said softly. “Why are you mad at them? Did they do something wrong?” Carly asked curiously. “Well they didn’t really do anything wrong, is just they left for vacation, and now they are back. They haven’t even send me a text saying they are back. I mean I understand Kyle is so busy with his new hot Hawaiian girlfriend, why would he want to talk to me? But Chloe, no excuse at all. They don’t even care that I am dying. Well even though I haven’t really told them.” I said as fast as I could.

“Kyle? Chloe? I am confused.” Carly said softly. “Oh well… Kyle and Chloe are my two best friends. We met since we were little. We are inseparable.” I said with smile. “Oh… well then you shouldn’t be mad at them. If they are really your best friends, they will call you. At least you have friends.” She said with a smile but then she turned to the window. “I am sure you have friends too… Everyone has at least one friend.” I said a little worried. “Well everyone else but me. You see, I am not from here, or at least I wasn’t. This isn’t were I used to live.” She said softly. “You are not? Where are you from?” I asked shocked. “I use to live in Washington D.C. We came here on vacation, well in reality my dad had a business trip, but he brought my mom and me with him. You know, just to get away for a few days. I was having so much fun but then all of the sudden I wasn’t feeling really good, I was bleeding way too much, and felt way too weak. My mom thought that I was getting home sick, or I was spending too much time in the sun, simple things. So she took to me the closest clinic, they did a bunch of test on me. And there it was my blood came out positive with leukemia. I was so advance, that I had to stay there in the hospital. I got really sick, I was about to die, I can even swear that I saw someone opening a door, and saw the light. But sadly my I was given some morphine and my soul started to come back. After I was stable the doctor told my parents I couldn’t fly back home, it wasn’t safe. So here I am. Stuck in this bed and chair.” Carly said softly. “So you never went back home? Why don’t you go now?” I asked confused. “I am too weak, to go anywhere. Doctors say I’ll be safer here. Where they can help me.” She said and turned towards me. “You see, I have no life, I have no one. This thing took everything I had and burned it. It controls me, whatever I do affects it, and affects me.” She added. “Well you have me now.” I said all of the sudden. “I’ll be your friend, if you’ll be mine.” I said standing up. “Deal.” She said with a smile. “I see you have a visitor.” A women said walking in, and kissed Carly in the forehead. “Mom meet April Logan, April meet my mom.” She said a little embarrassed. “Hi April nice to meet you, you can call me Mrs. Foster.” She said with a smile. “Nice to meet you too Mrs. Foster.” I said standing up. “Well I am sorry to interrupt you girls, but Carly has to go to therapy.” Mrs. Foster said with a smile. “Can I skip it today? I have a visitor.” Carly said with a puppy face. “Sweetie, I am sure she will understand…” Her mom said softly and turned to me. “Don’t worry Carly, I have to go anyway. I’ll come tomorrow yeah? Same time?” I said softly and walked to the door. “Nice to meet you Mrs. Foster.” I added. “Umm… fine…yeah… sure....” Carly said softly. “Hey smile, you are alive.” I said and walked out. I walked around the neighborhood for a while, I was really hungry since I hadn’t eaten anything. But I honestly didn’t wanna eat, after I came out of the clinic all the food I ate tested like trash, doctors said it was because of all the medicine I had in my body. I decided to just get a coffee, Starbucks it is. As I went in, I look around hoping not to see anyone from school, the area seemed safe so I slowly walked toward the dispatcher, “What Up? Welcome to Starbuck, How may I help you?” She said. For a moment I froze, she could help me so many ways, she can help me feel better, help with my depression, with my disease, but never the less she was just trying to be courteous, she couldn’t help me at any of the stuff I needed help with. “Vanilla Bean… Grande please…” I said softly and turn towards her. “Great anything else?” She asked happily. “No that’s all.” I said fake smiling. “Your name?” She asked holding the cup. “April…” I said nervously. “Beautiful name. Well April, it will be right up.” She said and attended the next client. I sat the farthest I could from the people. I was in the very corner but I could see who came in and who went out, I felt like a spy. I got my laptop from my bag and started checking my Facebook. I glimpsed at the door when I saw Kyle come in with his hot Hawaiian girlfriend. I felt my whole body heat up, I didn’t know it was of anger or was I nervous. They sat down in the table right next to the door. “Vintage Vanilla Bean for April.” I heard one of the workers yelled. I froze and Kyle did too. He started looking around the whole place. I snapped out of it, and walked to the dispatching area, I got my Vanilla Bean, and without turning towards him I walked back to my table. I drowned back into my computer. “Don’t look, don’t look…” I whispered to myself. “April….” I heard a voice say. My heart froze, I felt my breathing get heavier. “Look I know you are probably mad at me for who knows why, but I just wanted to tell you we are back…” He kept saying. “I was gonna call, but I figure you had better things to do…” He added and just stared at me. “April Come on…” He said holding my hand. I rapidly pushed him away. “I knew you were back, I saw you guys, and saw that girl and you kissing. Now If you excuse me I have to go back home.” I said putting my laptop in my bag and walked away. “Oh and for the record I am not mad, I just do have better things to do than be with you.” I added harshly. I walked back home, the day was really nice and I didn’t really like riding buses. As I look for the keys, I saw Chloe knocking like crazy. “You do realize there is no one home…” I said sarcastically. “April! OMG! Thank God you are okay. I got so scared you wouldn’t open the door.” “I went for a walk, I didn’t suicide myself chill girl.” I said opening the door. “I miss you so much. I have so many things to tell you!” She said rapidly. “If it’s about Kyle and his stupid hot girlfriend… I don’t wanna hear it…” I said annoyed. “How did you know?” She asked surprise as we sat in the couch. “I saw them this morning, and right now at Starbucks.” I said annoyed again. “And you are okay about it?” She asked surprised. “Yeah… Kyle is in my past…. I have a new life and his not part of it… he can do whatever he wants now…” “But this was the year, you guys were supposed to get together… we all saw it coming…. Even you…” She said disappointed. “Things happen for a reason, and besides he wouldn’t wanna date a girl with cancer….” I said suddenly. “Oh April, I am so sorry….” She said in tears. “Hey it’s okay…no more crying okay.” I said and gave her a box of tissues. “But I can’t stop, it’s not fair… not my April.” She kept crying. I stared at her for a while, just watch her cry, louder and faster by the minute. It was like she was crying for me. I didn’t feel like crying, I have gotten this through my head already, there was nothing I can do about it. The decision was already made and I did not had a right to choose. Seen Chloe cry hurt me though, I had enough hearing my mom cry every night before going to bed. It was painful and somehow rather annoying, but I have learned to get use it. But watching Chloe cry was human less, I felt this anger inside me grow bigger and bigger. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, I wish I could just stop all this pain. “Stop it.” I said suddenly, and took the tissue away from her. “Stop crying.” I said and stood up. She actually stopped for a second and stood up with a confused look. “I don’t want this. I don’t want to people to get hurt.” I whispered. “You should leave…. I feel tired.” I said walking to the door. “But April….” She said trying to speak. “Just—just leave….” I said holding the door. She started walking out and turned to me. “You are not alone okay…. Just remember that.” She said and closed the door. That line everyone kept saying at the clinic “You are not alone.” Along with “Sweetie” was driving me nuts. Why couldn’t they understand that if it was up to me I would be alone? I couldn’t bare the fact to hurt anyone or see anyone cry for me. It would be selfish of me to let them be in pain. I love Chloe but she is so emotional and I know she cares about me, but because I love her so much seen her cry would end up killing me. This anger that was inside me, was getting bigger by the minute and I know that one day I am not gonna be able to hold it in and I will explode like that kid in the clinic. “Ahhhh! Stupid life, Stupid Cancer, Stupid Brain! Stupid Kyle! I hate this world!” I yelled throwing all the plates from the table to the floor. “Sweetie, I am home, I have good news… What—what the heck happened here?!” Mom yelled entering to the kitchen. “Um—um… well let me just give you a hint… Chloe happened, Kyle happened, the stupid thing my brain happened!” I yelled. “Okay sweetie…. Calm down… Breath in and out…” Mom said walking closer to me as if I was Hulk or something. “Come here sweetie…. Here take a seat….”She said passing her hands through my arms. “Want some water?” She said walking to get a cup. I just nodded trying to breathe slower. “Here drink it slowly…” She said and handed me the cup of water. I drank it as fast as I could. “Feel better?” She asked sitting next to me. “Yeah… thanks...” I said softly. “Oh sweetie… you have to be more calm… try not to stress out that much…” Mom said softly and hugged me. “I am trying… it’s just not easy though….” I said and pushed her away. “Well you are just gonna have to try harder…” She said getting closer to me. “Harder? What is harder? Like I don’t even know what to do or what to say anymore. I try to be happy but I can’t I just can’t. I don’t know how to be sick.” I said giving myself some space. “I don’t know either sweetie, but we will learn, and we will get through this.” She said and stood up. I decided not to say anything else. I knew she was just as confused as I was and it wouldn’t be right to make her feel worse, so I just sat quietly. “Anyway…. You’re doctor called and she said she needed to talk to us. I told her we would meet her in about an hour.” She added while picking up everything I had thrown to the floor. “My day could not get any better.” I said sarcastically. “Very sarcastic Missy. Go wash your teeth… I want you in the car in 10 minutes.” Mom yelled and laughed. “Yes Madame. Your wish is my command.” I said and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I know what you’re thinking, what happen to the push her away idea. But she deserved the kiss, it made her happy, it made me happy too…

So we got the doctor office, it was nothing like the clinic. Her office was so um… How do I say it? Boring. Yeah the walls where plain white. She had 4 posters one in each wall. One of them was a skeleton with a quote “Look inside you’re as beautiful as outside.” The other posters where just bunch of hints to find out if you had a cancer or not. Her desk was well let me just say it looked like a hurricane had just passed by it. Ha-ha. You couldn’t even see the desk, because it was cover of so much papers. She wasn’t really organize, it got me thinking twice if I actually wanted her as my doctor. You know because my life was in her hands. “April! Mrs. Logan! I am glad you could make it. Come right in. Take a sit!” She said happily. We both sat down. I could see my mom was really surprised about the office too. “Excuse the mess, we are barely moving in.” She said trying to clean her desk and sat down. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it doctor. So you said you had some news for us?” Mom said curiously. “Were all the test wrong and I am not sick?” I said suddenly. “Ahem… No I am sorry that’s not it. But at least I could say that you are not fully sick.” Dr. Blue said. “What do you mean?” Mom asked her tone seemed louder. “You see the tumor you have right now is placed in the very corner of your brain, but it’s moving, and we don’t want that. The tumor probably wants to expand into your entire brain…” Dr. Blue said softly. “Well can’t you just take it out? Mom asked nervously. “If we do that your daughter dies.” The doctor explain. “So I die both ways….” I said softly. “It’s just a matter of fact so we can slow down the tumor and then in the right time kill it.” The doctor said again. “Okay how do we do that?” We both asked at the same time. “I am gonna prescribed you some medicine, you have to drink when you wake up, during lunch and before you go to bed.” The doctor said and gave the prescription to my mom. You have to follow it just how it says there or else our plan won’t work. “We will. I will make sure she does.” Mom said “Good, now I want you to go Dallas for a few weeks. There is some test I want you to take, and they have the perfect equipment there. Would next week will be okay for you?” Doctor said really serious. “Yes. Perfect. We would. Could you sent me all the information to my email?” Mom asked nervously. “Sure will.” “Thank you.” Mom said and stood up. “Come on sweetie lets go.” She said and got me from the arm. We both left the office really fast, I didn’t have to time to think at all. I was so confused now, that’s all I came here to get more confused. So I am supposed to drink some pills, like all day long and now I am going to Dallas so they can do more test on me. I seriously feel like an experiment. As we got home my mom was very quiet. I guess she was caught by surprised too. I could see she was worry, the way she tab her fingers while driving, it was obvious.

My mom opened the door softly. We rapidly saw my dad watching TV and next to him Charlie. “How did it go?” he asked happily. I said nothing I walked to my room right away. I could hear Charlie like always walking behind me. I had no reason to answer, never the less an answer. I was very confused all of this and I knew things weren’t gonna get any better. Dr. Blue made everything seem so easy, and it wasn’t. O yeah by the way you have to go to Dallas next week. Like what the heck, you can’t just throw that at us and walk away. Um hello, we have a life. I went into the bathroom, and took a shower, I hated smelling like a hospital or sick person, yeah I know don’t remind me. When I was a little kid I use to hate showering because I thought it took a lot of time away from playing, now I seriously don’t want to get out. I got into my PJ, yeah it was quite early, I doubt I am gonna go out, I never do. Anyway I was just resting in my bed reading a book. If you are wondering which one, I am reading “Tuesdays with Morrie” It’s about a student going to visit one of his old professors from the university he went to, and well the professor is really sick. Well what happens is that instead of the student helping the professor, the professor teaches one last lesson to his student. How to live life. It’s a really good book. Anyway while I was reading I could hear my parents talking in the kitchen. I was really curious, so I walked to the stairs slowly not making any noise. I sat on the first stairs and hide behind the wall. “What are we gonna do Mark…. This is getting more realistic…”Mom said worried. “We are just gonna have to follow all the instructions that Dr. Blue is giving us.” Dad said softly. “Go to Dallas? Isn’t that too fast? I mean she just took a bunch of test of April a few weeks ago… are you sure we can trust her?” Mom asked, probably remembering her office. “My friend said that she was his daughter’s doctor, and she is cured now….”My dad said trying to light up the mood. “I don’t know…. You know how April is… Peaky…” Mom said, I felt hurt I am not peaky, I just like to make sure of things. “We talked about this already sweetie, April is still young and does not understand many things, but she trusts us. She will understand many things as she grows up. We are gonna take her to Dallas. You already quit your job, and I will be working some extra hours to have a little more money. Don’t worry.” My dad said rapidly. I had no idea my mom had quit her job. She loved her job she was a writer for a really famous magazine called “People”. “Don’t be so loud, April doesn’t know yet. I haven’t told her…” Mom whispered. I sat there just hearing how they had to give up so many things so I would feel good and happy. They would had to change how we ate and maybe even a different house or city. It would be all up to me. And I hated that, because I knew that nothing will ever be the same. “Things are gonna have to change now….for April….” Mom said faking a smile. “No! I don’t want change! I want my life back!” I yelled suddenly and stood up. My parents turn fast towards me, they just stared at me. My body was shaking so fast and my heart was palpitating fast as well. “Oh sweetie! How long have you been there?” Mom asked softly. “I’ve heard everything. Everything mom.” I said holding my tears and stepped back. “Come here sweetie…. Let’s talk…. We will explain everything….” Mom said walking towards me trying to calm me down. “No I don’t want to hear it…. I don’t want this!” I yelled to her and ran upstairs. “Oh sweetie! April wait….” Mom yelled and ran upstairs following me. I closed my door really hard, and locked it. I needed to be alone, or at least with someone who will hear my pain without me having to say a word. “Sweetie… open up….”Mom said trying to open the door. “Come on Sweetie, open up… we need to talk.” Mom kept saying. “April open this door, or I will have to open forcibly…” Dad all of the sudden said. I just kept quiet. “April don’t make me break this door…”Dad said. “Mark there is no need for that here…” Mom said softly. “April!” Dad yelled. I kept quiet. I knew that they wold open the door sooner or later but I didn’t have the courage to face them. I walked towards my window and open the doors slowly so it wouldn’t make any noise. I grabbed one of the robes-collars I had to take Charlie on a walk and slowly jumped off the window. I landed thankfully on my feet. I suddenly heard a really loud noise, “April!” My parents yelled, I ran as fast as I could. I know what you are probably thinking… that I am selfish, arrogant and don’t care about anyone else feelings. But the only reason I was so mad it’s because everyone I loved was hurt. I want my old life, I don’t want this I don’t. I kept running, even though I knew my parents weren’t following me but I had this sudden urge to run in the middle of the night. I stopped slowly, trying to catch my breath. I kept walking though, I didn’t want to go home, not for now. I kept on remembering that kid from the clinic, he was so selfish, and mean to his parents. I wonder if that’s how I sounded, did I become that for a moment. I just kept walking, it was really dark but it wasn’t that late. It was probably about nineish or tenish, I honestly didn’t care. I saw this girl with her dog on the street, they walked right passed me. The little girl must have been really scared to see me with a black sweater, she ran as fast as she could. It did hurt me in a way, if people were running away from now, I wonder what they would do when I really did look sick. I hated how my parents were trying to hide things from me, how they treated me like a little girl. I am not dumb okay, I know what’s going on. But they kept doing it by calling me sweetie, and doing everything so I would be happy. I hated that, or maybe I just hated my parents so bad right now. “Stupid life.” I said while I kept walking. “You know, this is all your fault you know. All this.” I yelled and looked to the sky. “I hate this, I hate you. I hate you!” I yelled louder. “I don’t want this, I don’t want this! I don’t want this! I don’t want this!” I yelled even louder. “Give me a freaking sign! Give a reason why!” I yelled with tears in my eyes. And there it was the sign, it started to rain. Like hard core rain, all of sudden, out of nowhere. “Ahhhh!!”I yelled and stopped. I looked at the sky again, I just stood there and stared at it, I was soaking wet. “I’ll do whatever you want, but please I don’t—I don’t want this….” I said and started crying. “Please! Listen to me!” I said walking to the highway and just stood there. “I Hate You!” I yelled once again. “Get out of the way!” I heard someone say, as I turned around I saw really bright lights coming towards me really fast. I closed my eyes slowly, wanting for it to hit me. “Watch out!” I heard someone say and felt a small push to the ground. I could feel a warm body on top of me. I opened my eyes slowly and there it was the guy who ruined my plan. “Are you okay?” He asked. “Uh! Idiot! Get off me!” I said pushing him away from me. “April?!” The guy said, and all of the sudden I recognized that voice. I said nothing and just ran, very fast. I didn’t know where to go. I couldn’t go to Chloe, my parents would find me, but I had a new friend now. The clinic would be my stop. The clinic was sort of dark, most of the lights were off, and only one light on each hall was turn on. I could hear the nurses’ whisper while watching a TV show. “Hernandez kid is taking his last breath.” One of the nurses said. “I’ll go tell the family.” Another one said. This wasn’t visiting hours so I ran to the other hall. I kept walking, I suddenly heard this loud noise of people crying, my stomach shrunk. “Poor child he deserve better.” A nurse said “God knows what he is doing, he needs an angel up there.” Another nurse said. “I just wish they didn’t have to suffer…” A nurse said and kept walking down the hallway. This was depressing me, I came here to feel better not to feel worst. Finally I got to Carly’s room, it was closed. I knocked quietly. “Come in…” Carly’s mom said “Who visits at this hour…?” I could hear Carly say behind the door. “Oh sweetie, is probably a nurse making sure you are okay….” She said opening the door. “April.” She added. “Hello Mrs. Foster.” I said trying to hold my body together. “Oh my dear April. Your soaking wet, come right in, and let’s dry you up.” Mrs. Foster said getting me by the back and walked me to the room. “April? What are doing here so late” Carly asked confused. “I was walking passed and thought hey why not visit you.” I said faking a smile. “Well missy first of all this is no time for visitors and second of all, it’s really late for a young girl to be walking around, it can be very dangerous.” Mrs. Foster said covering me with a towel. “Thank you. I know.” I said sitting down in one of the chairs. “Do your parents know where you are? They must be very worry.” She said looking very concerned. “No they don’t.” I said remembering why I was there in the first place. “I am sorry April but I must called them.” Mrs. Foster said very frustrated and started getting her phone out. “No please Mrs. Foster, could you wait till tomorrow, I just don’t want to see them right now. I promise tomorrow morning I will give you my mom’s number. But please let me stay here tonight.” I begged her. “Come on Mom, just let her stay…” Carly said smiling. “Fine, just for tonight. But tomorrow morning we will call your mom.” Mrs. Foster said “I am gonna go get you some dry clothes. Be right back.” She added and left the room. I looked down at my clothes and shoes, they were so wet I felt like I had a big bag fill with rocks on me. “Okay she is gone….Okay…So what happened?” Carly asked all of the sudden. “Nothing important, I just feel really annoyed with everyone. Kyle has a girlfriend, Chloe all she does is cry, my doctor said I have to start takin bunch of medication, my mom quit her job to be with me, and oh I am leaving to Dallas for a few weeks. You know now that I think of it, it’s not that bad.” I said really fast. “Okay…. Well things are getting there….” She whispered and looked down. “Excuse me?” I said a little confused. “Look April… I am not here to make excuses or cover the truth with bunch of rainbows and unicorns, I am gonna be truthful, and it might hurt you.” Carly said and turned towards me. “What makes you think I want to know the truth…?” I said annoyed. “Because that’s why you came here for …. Isn’t? Because everyone else just feels bad for you and they just try to make you feel better. You want someone who knows how you feel, you want to learn how to live with this. And that’s me.” She said really brave. “I just came here, because I didn’t know where to go…. Don’t feel so special.” I said really annoyed and tired. “O yeah! So of all the people you know from this town you came here? To a clinic full of sick kids?! Well let me just tell you that life doesn’t get any easier. This things happen, you are not the only one. You hear that crying?! Yeah a kid just die, and you know what? That’s our destiny! Whether we like it or not, that’s what gonna happen to us. Everyone goes through it, so stop being a baby and grow up. That’s life.” Carly said and turn back to facing wall. “Sorry….” I said and sat next to her. She still didn’t look at me so I did the weirdest thing ever. I hugged her. I could feel how surprised she was, she didn’t even move. “You are not alone anymore, we have each other.” I whispered into her ear and she hugged back and my tears started to drop. “Thank You” I whispered. “Okay so all I could get is this blouse and pants, it’s a little big but that’s all I could find—oh I am sorry, oh I could just come back—Ahhhh I am sorry…” Mrs. Foster said awkwardly. “It’s okay mom…..” Carly said with a smile. “Yeah… we were just talking….” I said and stood up walking towards her. “Thank you…” I said taking the clothes off her hands and walked to the bathroom. “You welcome…” She said softly with a really confused look. I closed the bathroom door and locked it, and slowly sat down on the floor and hugged the clothes that Mrs. Foster had given me. I rapidly stood up and started getting ready before they started to get worry. “Did she tell you what happened?” I could hear Mrs. Foster whisper to Carly. “You know the usual, the thing is getting in her head…” Carly said softly. “Poor girl….” Mrs. Foster said. “Eh… it happens to everyone… she will just have to get over it.” Carly said really serious. “Carly. She can hear you….” Mrs. Foster whispered. “So…. I am just saying the truth…” Carly said roughly. “Okay, I think it fits me a little big, but this can do for the night.” I said rapidly coming out of the bathroom. They both turn towards me rapidly. I faked the confused look, like if I hadn’t heard a thing. “It’s something wrong?” I asked softly. “No… Nothing…”They both said nervously. Just a bunch of liars, like everyone else. “I am gonna go wash your clothes… you girls sleep tight….” Mrs. Foster said taking the clothes out of my hand and walked me over to a bed right next to Carly. I supposed it was her bed. She turned off the lights and closed the door softly. “You heard everything huh?” Carly said looking at me straight in the eye. “Yeah…” “Good.” She said smiling. Carly slowly laid down in her bed and turned towards the window. I couldn’t sleep, a week ago all I wanted was to get out of the clinic, and now I came to a clinic without even having to be here. I could hear the rain hit the window. It also smelled so good. I loved the wet dirt smell, it smelled so peaceful. “Carly? Are you wake?” I asked softly. “Um… I am now…” She said annoyed. “Do you hear that?” I asked innocently. “Yeah… it’s raining… I am not deaf.” She said roughly. “Well can you smell it too?” I asked hurt. “No. All smell is the sickness in this room. Go to sleep.” She said and turned back to the window. “Come on Carly… Smell it… Take a large breath!” I said and walked to her bed. “Hey!” Carly yelled. “Just take a large breath!” I yelled back. “Okay! Pshhh… I smell wet dirt….” She said laid down again. “Come on let’s go outside….” I said pulling her. “Are you crazy!? We will get caught! No!” “We won’t get caught! Come on I know a shortcut…” “No…. I will not risk myself like that. I am gonna get wet, and knowing me I will get sick… and then die.” “So… isn’t that what you want?” I asked harshly. “Ummm. Yes… But not like that…” She said softly. “Come on… you won’t get wet... here put this on…” I said throwing a sweater and a blanket at her. “No… just no. My mom is about to come in any second” She said again. “Carly we are dying. I am dying. You’re dying. We have to take advantage of every second of our life. Don’t you wanna feel the rain softly dropping in your body?! Don’t you want to jump into poodles like when we were kids?! Come on!” I yelled. “Okay fine…” She said. “Yes! Come on stand up before your mom gets here! “Wait…. April…. I can’t…” Carly said softly. “What do you mean?” “I can’t walk…. I’m too weak to walk…” Carly said a little embarrassed. “Oh… no wonder there is a wheelchair… come on let’s get you on it…” I said pulling the wheelchair next to her bed. “Thanks…” She said carefully moving to the chair. “Okay we have to hurry.” I said as we walked to the door. As I opened the door I could hear Mrs. Foster talking to the nurses. “I should go check on the girls--- I mean Carly… Go check on Carly.” Mrs. Foster said. “Come on we have to hurry!” I said pushing Carly out of the room. “The halls are covered with nurses. We are never gonna get through…” Carly said really worried. “Don’t worry I know a short cut!” I whispered and smile. We moved rapidly. We went down the hall, to right next to the cafeteria and kept moving forward. “April stop! The guards.” Carly said softly. I rapidly stopped, slipping on the soft floor tiles. “They weren’t there, when I came in…” I whispered. “Great now what…” Carly said and covered her eyes. I look around, the hall carefully, when I suddenly saw the front elevators. “I have an idea…” I whispered, “I’ll be right back…” I added. “Wait… Where are you going?! April! Don’t leave me! April!” Carly whispered. I softly ran to the elevators and pressed the up button. “First Floor.” The elevator voice said. “Did you here that?” One of the guards said. “Who is there?! Come out.” The guard said pointing a flash light towards the elevator. The guards slowly walked towards the elevator. I started freaking out so I rapidly threw my shoe hitting one of the lamps. “Over there!” The guards yelled, and ran through the hallway. “Huh… I can’t believe that actually worked…” I said softly. “Okay let’s go…” I said walking back towards Carly. “What happened?” She asked confused. “Let’s just say I can totally be a ninja!” I said laughing. “Ninja? What?” Carly asked confused. “Forget that. Look. The rain.” I said as I pushed her through the door. “It smells so good.” Carly said smiling. “Yeah it does….” I said pushing her to the end of the small porch. “Its good right here, thank you.” She said softly. She closed her eyes slowly and took a large breath. I sat on the ground next to her. I looked at her and then at the rain. It seem so peaceful. It felt to the ground and softly moved to the porch, where we were at. “April….” Carly said softly. “Um yeah?” I asked a little awkwardly. “You…. Um… Thank you.” She said moving her head side to side. “Um… You welcome.” I looked at her strangely. “This is beautiful, I guess I have been too busy worrying about my disease, I forgot how beautiful nature is…” She said, still looking at the rain. “Oh… Carly, how long have you been in your room?” I asked surprise. “Ever since I found I was sick. Doctors said I couldn’t even walk to the bathroom alone, because of it. I told you this thing took everything from me.” She said looking down. I didn’t say anything and just nodded carefully and looked at the rain again. “You see the reason, why I was so rough with you a few minutes ago was because I went through the same thing. Like I told you, I am from Washington, we only came here because my dad brought us on one of his business trips. I was fourteen when I found I had leukemia. My parents were heart broken, and well so was I. I felt in a horrible depression… I pushed my parents away. I didn’t want them to suffer. My mom had to quit her job to be with me and my dad come and goes back home. We are very wealthy, but I somehow feel empty. I blocked myself from everything, and everyone. I have never talk to any of the kids in this clinic, you were the first one.” She said with a smile. “I should feel special then.” I said smiling. “I don’t know. I guess when I saw you, you reminded me of myself, and more when I started talking to you.” She kept saying. “Well maybe we met for a reason. Maybe we will help each other.” I said smiling. “With what?” She asked confused. “What is one thing we both have in common? Something we both want?” I asked standing up. “We want to die…” She said softly. “Will you help me?” I asked cheerfully. “You’re serious about this?” She asked choked. “I am.” I said and faced her. “I…. I will.” She said thoughtfully. Then she slowly shook my hand. “Good then. Now that we have a deal. Let’s get wet.” I said pulling out of her wheel chair and put her right arm around my shoulders and neck. “Ahhhh! What are you doing? I told you I can’t walk.” She said yelling at me. She rapidly got wet, the rain was peacefully dropping upon us. “I will walk for you. Don’t worry I won’t let go.” I yelled with a smile. “Isn’t this amazing!” I added. “Yes. Yes it is.” She said and looked at the sky. We ran around the grass for a while. We would just yelled and looked at the sky. We would just do a bunch of circles. I felt happy, I felt good about myself. Carly was smiling and laughing, we didn’t even feel sick. For a moment I thought she could even walk by herself, I was barely holding her. “CARLY!” We heard a loud noise from the inside. As we turn around, we realize it was Mrs. Foster. She ran to the porch, but rapidly stopped as she realize it was raining. She yelled for help, the nurses rapidly ran towards us with towels. I knew I was in trouble, since Mrs. Foster walked toward us with a really angry face but at the same time she was crying. “You must come with us now…” The nurses said taking Carly away from me. I just stood there watching how they put the towels on her and sat her on the wheel chair. “Carly…. Sweetie are you okay?” Mrs. Foster said trying to talk with all the rain. “Nothing happened to her…. She was walking…” I said softly. “You…. Don’t even dare say a word! I trusted you. I actually though you wanted to be Carly’s friend!” She yelled at me angrily. “I am her friend. This is why I brought her here.” I said softly. “You’re her friend?! Last I checked friends don’t put each other in danger! She is dying for God sake!” She yelled back. “Well for once in her life she was actually living…. Not dying.” I yelled back. Suddenly we all froze. Mrs. Foster looked at me with a hurt expression, like if I had blamed her. Carly looked at me with a confused expression and the nurses just stared at Carly. “Take Carly back to the room…” Mrs. Foster said roughly to the nurses. The nurses nodded and walked to the entrance. I softly walked behind them feeling guilty for yelling to Mrs. Foster. “April. You should go home. Your parents are probably really worried.” Mrs. Foster said to me, as she walked passed me. I just stood there, with a blank expression. “Carly needs some rest…” She added and disappeared slowly. I was full of anger and guilt but the rain made me feel so peaceful. It purified my soul, I just had to let everything go, and breathe in. I walked back to the room quietly. No I wasn’t gonna disobey Mrs. Foster orders but I need to get my stuff. I enter the room, Mrs. Foster wasn’t there, thank God. Carly was peacefully asleep. I walked slowly to the chair next to bed where Carly was sleeping, got my phone and keys. I passed by Carly, touched her hand softly. “I’ll be back soon. Promise.” I Whispered to her and slowly walked to the door. As I opened the door Mrs. Foster came in. “April?” Mr. Foster said confused. “I just came for my stuff. Bye.” I said rapidly and ran from the room. “April wait!” Mrs. Foster yelled. “Mom…. Don’t worry she’ll be back… she promised…” Carly said between her sleep.

I walked back home, I was soaking wet again, and freezing. It was about midnight and everyone seem to be sleep, even Kyle and his girlfriend. I entered the house slowly, I took my shoe off since it was heavier than a rock. I looked at the living room and there she was, sleeping peacefully holding her phone in her ear. I guessed she was waiting for my call. I walked towards her slowly and got close to her ear. “Hey I am home….” I whispered to her ear, and touched her hand softly. She rapidly woke up, and looked at me, she smiled softly and touched my cheeks, passing her soft hand through it. “Sweetie, I was so worry. I am just glad your home.” She said softly and smiled. I just nodded. “Sweetie, I am so sorry for everything…”Mom started saying. “No. I am sorry.” I suddenly said. We both kept quiet for a while. We were both in pain, and confused, silence was the best thing that we both really wanted. “I know that you’re doing everything you can to make me happy. I promise you that I will try and be less pecky…” I started saying. “I am just very confused right now…. I just need some time that’s all…” I said softly and looked at my hands. “Oh sweetie, don’t feel guilty….” Mom said and got my hands, I still kept looking down. “Maybe I don’t know how you feel, and maybe I don’t understand what’s going through your mind. But… at least I can try to understand, but I need you to let me get close to you.” Mom said softly and slowly pass her hands through my hair. “I can barely understand myself, I don’t even know what I feel anymore.” I said rough and pulled away. “All I want you to do is to hug me, that’s all I want…” I said softly. “Oh sweetie…” Mom said and hugged with all the energy and strength she had left. “I will hug you every time you want me too...” She said softly and tab my back. “Thank You…” I said softly and closed my eyes slowly. The rest of the night was a blur. I woke up in my bed. The sun was and up and shinning like never before. I woke up in the happiest mood. I could hear my mom making breakfast and my dad singing his normal old love songs. I walked to my window, and rapidly open the curtains. “April! Mark! Breakfast is ready!” Mom yelled from down stairs. “Coming!” We both yelled, and ran down stairs. “Morning! What’s for breakfast?” We both said at the same time. I know kind of creepy. “Eggs and sausage!” Mom said smiling while we sat at the table. I wasn’t hungry at all, but I couldn’t tell her that, it will break her heart. I could tell my dad wasn’t hungry too. We were really quiet. My mom was watching her food show and my dad was on the phone like always. Nice family moment right… “April, don’t think we are not going talk about last night.” Dad said suddenly. “There is no need for that Mark. We already talk.” Mom said and turned towards him. “Well you two talked, but I didn’t.” Dad said upset. “Okay fine. Let’s talk.” I said annoyed and turned towards. “Not right now. I have to go to work.” Dad said and stood up. My good mood suddenly disappeared. I rapidly got his phone out of his hand. “No we are talking now.” I said roughly. “April! Give me back my phone!” My dad yelled annoyed. “Not until we talk. That’s what you wanted.” I said put his phone inside my shirt. “April, I am a really busy man. This talk is gonna have to wait.” He said angrily. “Wait? Busy man? You were never busy when you need to talk to Kate (my sister). You do realize I am dying right? The tumor isn’t just gonna stop and wait for you to talk to me. You want me to wait while my life is in your hands?! Okay fine I’ll wait. I’ll call your secretary to make an appointment.” I said harshly and stood up. “Oh and by the way I am going to Dallas, with or without you.” I added and left the kitchen. “Great Mark. Just Great.” Mom said and left as well. I actually wasn’t angry, my dad had always been like that. I guessed I was so use to wait to talk to him, I didn’t even want to talk with him. I walked to the front porch, just to get some fresh air. I the saw Kyle outside. “April!” Mom said from the back. “Yeah?” “You were a little harsh on your dad don’t you think.” She said nervously. I was so focused on Kyle, I could barely hear what she was saying. “No. He deserve it.” I heard myself said. “April!” Mom said. “Yeah!” “What is wrong with you?!” Mom said and got closer to me, she then looked at the direction I was looking. “Kyle…. Of course… At least one thing hasn’t change.” She added smiling. “He doesn’t know mom…” I said softly and walked back inside. “Well are you planning on telling him?” “No. Not for now.” I said quietly. “Oh sweetie…” My mom said softly. “You have to tell him, you’re his best friend. He will be heart broken. He deserves to know.” My mom added. “I know that mom, that’s why I haven’t told him. I don’t want to hurt anyone else. I already told Chloe and it was a big mistake. I am not gonna tell him, at least not for now, and neither are you.” I said sitting on the couch. “I don’t agree you but I will do as you wish.” She said smiling and kissed me on the forehead. “I think your dad left already…” She whispered. “Good I guess…” I said not caring. “Your dad and I decided that we are driving to Dallas, since its only two hours away.” Mom said happily. “Okay. When are we going?” I asked surprised. “Tomorrow morning, the sooner the better. We would be there for about a month. We must come back before school starts.” My mom said walking to the kitchen. “Yeah okay… I am cool with it. But isn’t a little too soon? Dr. Blue barely told us that yesterday. Shouldn’t we wait for her email?” I said really confused. “I have already contacted Dr. Blue and she said it was okay and gave me all the instructions. Now no more questions and go get ready your luggage. Pack for a month or more.” My mom yelled from the kitchen. “Ugh. Fine.” I said kicking the couch. “Don’t you dare kick the couch April!” Mom yelled angrily. “What? But…. How did you know?” I said quietly. “I am your mother April! I know you like I know the palm of my hand.” She said and giggled. “Oh yeah…. Well… what am I doing now?” I said annoyed. “You’re going upstairs to do your luggage. Remember?” My mom said trying to act smart. “Yeah, Yeah, I am going.” I said and walked to my room. I walked to my room, and closed the door roughly. I got my phone from my wallet, you know just to check my social life. I don’t really have a social life, I mean I hardly use it. I only use my phone to text pretty much, but I don’t like texting that much either. I prefer talking, yeah I am pretty old fashioned. Turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was twenty messages from Chloe. I kind of regretted turning on my phone now. April! We need to talk! - Chloe April! Kyle told me about last night! – Chloe APRIL! ANSWER ME! – Chloe The messages went on and on. She just kept saying that we needed to talk. Well I didn’t wanna talk, not now at least. I jumped to my bed and laid down. I looked at the plain white ceiling again. Man I really do need to paint that. I close my eyes for just a second I just wanted to relax and let everything out. Breathe in and breathe out. Then this sudden image came to my head. “April! Kyle told me about last night! – Chloe “Last night?!” I yelled and stood up rapidly. That’s when I remember the guy who saved me from getting hit by the car last night. “Kyle….” I said softly and smiled. No wonder he had call me by my name, everything made so much more sense now. I walked to my window, and gave a small glimpse to his house. He was still outside, “cutting the grass”. I haven’t told you a lot but Kyle, I guess. Well I’ll give you a little information. Kyle King, the cutest and most popular guy in my school or at least in my year class. He is really tall next to me, you know since I am short. He has brownish black spiky hair. His hair is not long but too short. He has hazel eyes, trust me when I say this, his eyes shine next to the sun. He likes all kind of sports specially football and soccer. He’s a sucker for girls, his addiction, he just can’t help it. He is very sweet and cares way too much about people. He is not romantic and stuff but he always knows how to make you smile. He is pretty much the appositive of me, he finds the good and the solution in everything. Kyle and I met when we were in first grade in the playground. It had just rained and all the playground was full of mud. I remember we were all playing tag, while running I slipped into the mud, everybody started laughing at me. One of the kids said I was clumsy, I got so mad I threw mud to the kids in the back. They all moved though and it accidently hit Kyle. He was wearing a white shirt, which made it worst. The weird thing is that he didn’t even get mad, he walked towards me and help me get up. “Kyle. You?” He said with a really big smile. “April.” I said super shy. Since that moment we became friends, best friends. So yeah that’s all I am gonna tell you about him. I could tell you about all the moments we spent together but that would take me forever, and as you can see I don’t have that much time. Anyway, back to reality. So where was I? Oh right Kyle cutting grass. I tried not to open my curtains too much, I didn’t want to look like a stalker. He wasn’t really cutting the grass, he was just standing there looking at pile of grass. He was probably thinking like always. Kyle never really speaks, I mean he is not a chatter box, he is always in the clouds. I leaned my head to the window and just stood there watching him how his stared blankly to the pile of grass. I smiled softly, I could never get tired of watching him. He then suddenly looked to my window. We both looked at each other right in the eye for a second. I rapidly closed the curtains. “April you’re so stupid.” I whispered. I walked back to my closet. Took out my luggage and a few shirts and pants. Yeah I know we were going to Dallas, but I wasn’t going for vacation. I was going to a clinic, again. I just put clothes into my luggage until it was full, I closed it with a lot of force and threw the luggage to the floor. “Done.” “April! Come on! Let’s go!” Mom yelled from outside. We were all set to go, all the luggage were in the car and my parents too. I woke up late, so I was a little behind schedule. “Coming!” I yelled pulling my luggage and Charlie out of the house. No I was not taking Charlie with me, sadly. But he couldn’t be left alone for a month, so he needed a babysitter. Sadly Charlie didn’t just stay with anybody, he was really pecky about humans. He didn’t even like Chloe, but for some reason he loved Kyle. “Need some help sweetie?” My dad said walking towards me. “Yes thank you. Can you please take Charlie to Kyle…” I said, but my dad took my luggage instead. “Charlie is your responsibility, not mine” He said smiling and walked to the trunk of the car. “Fine….” I whispered as I walked to Kyle’s house. “Come on April you can do this. Breathe in and out. Breathe in and out.” I said softly as I got closer to the door. “Don’t be a coward, it’s just Kyle.” I whispered and knock the door. Nobody answered, it was quite early, and they were probably still sleep. I knocked again, I stepped back a few steps. The door finally opened slowly. As I looked up, this anger inside my started to grow. “Yes….” The girl said barely trying to open her eyes. Charlie started to step back rapidly. “Sit boy. Sit.” I whispered. “Hello….” The girl said staring at me really confused and then turn down to Charlie. “Umm…. Is Kyle here…” I said softly. “He is sleep. Can you come back later?” She said a little rough. “No. No I can’t. I am leaving to Dallas.” I said slowly and looked down. “But okay fine. Here take this.” I said while handing her the collar. “Tell Kyle too take care him for a while. I be back soon.” I added. “Ewe. Kyle!!!” The girl yelled suddenly. I looked at her confused. I guessed she didn’t like dogs. “Kyle!” She yelled once again. “Why are you yelling, it’s so early.” Kyle said half sleep walking to the door. “That’s why I am yelling.” She said and pointed at me. “April.” Kyle said softly. “Um. Hi.” I said trying to put the words into my mouth. “What are you doing here?” Kyle asked rubbing his eyes and got closer to me. I stepped back rapidly but Charlie ran to Kyle. “I need someone to take care of Charlie while I am gone. You are the only one he likes besides me.” I said quietly. “While you’re gone? Where… where are you going?” He asked really confused. “Dallas.” The girl said annoyed. We both turned towards her. “What? That’s what she told me.” She added and pointed at me. Kyle turned back to me. “Jessica this is April. April this Jessica, my….” Kyle said softly. “His girlfriend. I am his girlfriend.” She said smiling and gave him a kiss. “Nice to meet you.” I said fake smiling. “Look, I’ll love to stay and chat but I am in a hurry, my parents are waiting for me.” I said roughly. “Can you take care of Charlie or not?” I asked. “Um yeah sure. I’ll love too. I love Charlie.” He said and pet Charlie on the back. “Okay. Thanks. I have to go.” I said and got close to Charlie. “Okay Charlie, I am gonna be gone for a while. Be a good boy okay, be nice to Kyle and his family. Don’t be too hard on Jessica, she seems to be nice girl. I love you.” I said and hugged Charlie. “It was very nice too meet you Jessica.” I said as I stepped back. Little by little I started to walk faster. “April wait!” Kyle said as he ran toward me. I stopped but I didn’t turned around. “Why are you leaving?” He asked nervously. “I have to go Kyle.” I said and started walking again. “Okay. Fine. Don’t answer me. But you are coming back right?” He asked and walked closer to me. I turned around just to make him stop. “Yeah.” I said quietly. “Can I ask you something?” He asked softly and looked down. I nodded even though he wasn’t looking at me. “We are still friends right?” He asked nervously, my heart literally broke into million pieces. “Of course we are you Idiot. Best Friends.” I said softly and smiled. I ran to my parent’s car and waved goodbye to him. He just stood there in boxers without a shirt. Little by little he disappeared from my view. “Next stop Dallas.” I said as I plugged in my earphones. I look out the window, wow. This place is amazing, all I see is green. Dallas is really beautiful place to live in. The only sucky problem is that I can barely even breathe with this weather, it’s super-hot. Other than that this city is amazing, especially the food. I wish I could live here. I actually didn’t even wanna leave the clinic. It turn out that coming to Dallas wasn’t as bad I thought it would be. Actually it wasn’t at all how I thought it would be. I had some fun at the clinic. I met lots of new people and made some friends. I can’t believe I am saying this but for the first time, since I found out I was sick, I felt happy. I was taken again to a clinic, just like the one back in Austin. They took bunch of test of me gave me lots of medicine to take, just like the other clinic. The only weird thing was that I had no headaches. Like not even a small one, nothing, zero, and “nada”. That made me happy, because that meant I was getting better, I think. The test did get annoying but after a few days I got use to them, I didn’t let it bother me. Mom and dad would take me out to eat once a week, too new restaurant every time. I met a few kids too, they all were sick of something different. Some just had an accident or something happened. We all hang around during lunch time. There was this small park next to the clinic where we were allowed to go. The boys played basketball while the girls were the cheerleader. I just sat in the back and watch how they had fun. While I wrote or drew in my journal. There was this boy, about my age, he always sat next to me too. The weird thing is that I never saw him around the clinic how I saw the rest of the kids. His name was Daniel, or at least that’s what the rest of the kids called him. He was very tall, blonde brownish hair, he had brown eyes always wore his school football sweater, he was always smiling too. He never really talked to me, he usually only said hi to me and that’s all. Today we just had lunch and the group like always was playing basketball. I sat in the back where there was bench. I opened my journal and started to write the score. “50-45” I said as I wrote it down in pink in. “Hey.” Daniel said as he sat down next to me. “Hey…” I said still looking at the score in my journal. “So who is winning?” He then asked with a smile. I froze, he got me by surprise. I didn’t even know what to answer. “Um… The blue team.” I said softly but I kept looking at my journal. “Good, then I’ll for the red team…” He said with a big bright smile. Why go for the loosing team. Didn’t he hear what I just said? “Who do you go for?” He asked randomly and tried to look in my journal. “No one. I just write the scores.” I said softly and turned to watch the game. “So you’re happy either way?” He asked. “Not exactly… I just don’t really care. I guessed if I had to choose I’ll go for the blue team.” I said softly trying to stop myself from talking. “Because they’re winning?” He asked again. “Why do you go for the red team?” I said trying to take the attention away from me. “Because I don’t mind loosing.” He said softly. “Ohh…” I said as I changed the score. “50-50” I said softly as I wrote it down. “Daniel by the way.” He said and raised his hand up. “April.” I said and shocked his hand. “That’s a really beautiful name.” He said with a big smile. I blushed rapidly “Thanks.” I said softly. “Why are you here?” We both said at the same time. “Sorry” We both said again. “You go first.” We said… again… “Okay this is getting us nowhere. I’ll go first.” Daniel said laughing. I just nodded. “I am not a patient. My sister is though, she has been in the clinic for a year now.” He said softly. “Is she here?” I asked and turned towards the cheerleaders. “No she is not.” He said and his smile softly disappeared. “Where is she?” I asked confused. “She felt from the stairs and well she had a head injury and since that day she hasn’t woke up.” He said softly. “Oh…” I whispered. “She is asleep then.” I said with a smile. “Umm… yeah… I guessed she is a heavy sleeper” he said and sort of smiled. “She’ll wake up soon, I am sure.” I said softly and looked back at the game. Still tie. “So why are you here? You don’t look sick.” He said as he covered his eyes from the sun. I had it all planned out in my head. He seemed pretty nice and he would maybe understand me. I took a breath in and slowly turned to him. “I don’t think a girl as beautiful as you can be sick…. Right?” He suddenly said in flirty voice. All of the sudden my whole plan disappeared. I stayed quiet and looked back down. He called me beautiful. My cheeks turned red, and my stomach turned upside down. His smile was as bright as the sun and his eyes were full of honesty. I took another breath out and faced him. “My Father is a Pediatrician, he came to see one of his patients. He brought my mom and I with him just to get out of the city.” I said not believing I word I said. “Really? Where are you from?” He asked smiling. “Austin.” I said finally saying something that was truth. “You?” I added. “Nice. Me? Oh I am from here. Nothing special.” He said with a really bright smile. “Oh that’s nice. Dallas is beautiful.” I said looking at the sky. “Yeah. I guess.” He said and looked back at the game. “Still tie… Damn.” He said. I just kept quiet and went back to writing in my journal. “So is your dad any good?” He asked all of the sudden. “Huh? What?” I said super confused. “You said your dad is a pediatrician. Is he good?” He said turning to me. “Oh right. Pediatrician. Yeah he is good.” I said trying to go back into my writing. “Do you think he would mind if I asked him to see my sister?” He asked softly. “Um I don’t know. I mean he doesn’t treat a lot patients. He is very unique.” I said trying to keep up with lie and kept facing down. “We’ll pay him. Whatever it is. Will do it.” He said really serious. “Um. No. There is no need for that.” I said babbling. “We’ll do anything. Just please.” He said begging me. “Okay fine. I’ll tell him.” I said loudly. “Thank you.” He said with a smile. “No problem.” I whispered. “Lucy Jason.” He said. “Huh?” I whispered. “That’s her name. Lucy Jason.” He said with a smile. “Oh right” I said softly. “April! Let’s go.” I heard my parents yelled. “Um. I have to go.” I said standing up. “Okay. Well Bye then. “Daniel said softly “Bye. See you around.” I said softly. I walked slowly “Don’t forget to tell your dad!” Daniel yelled as he waved goodbye. “I won’t promise.” I said as I crossed my two fingers, and ran to my parents. “Uh…who is that boy you were talking too…” My mom said as she got me by the back. “Just a boy from the hospital, mom.” I said as I looked back at Daniel. “Just a boy?” She asked sarcastically. “Yes just a boy. I just met him mom.” I said a little annoyed. “You know what they say…. Love at first sight…”Mom said laughing. “Stop it. Stop doing that. I barely even remember his name.” I said lying and walked back to the hospital. I walked back to the room I was placed at. I sat in my bed and turn on the TV. The nurse walked behind me and got my arm to take some blood samples out of me. I try not to look, it feels weird enough to feel the blood leave your body, and I don’t even wanna know what feels to see it slowly come out. Ewe, no just no. The nurse touched my hand slowly, which was a sign she had finished. I slowly nodded put kept watching TV. My parents will always be outside, they say they felt the pain more than I did. I guess my pain was physically, their pain was emotionally. At least my pain could go away with pain pills, but what cures their pain. Next came the drugs, I mean antibiotics. I took five every four hours. I didn’t mind, it took all my pain away, who would mind that. I laid down, and stared at the white ceiling. This is like my peaceful moment. No nurses and my parents are usually talking to the doctors by this time. This is probably the only time I am alone, it’s like my thinking time. I close my eyes and just let my mind flow. My mind usually directly goes to my friends, Charlie, and my room. But for the past few days I can’t stop thinking about Carly. I don’t know why is just that deal we made, are we actually gonna do it. Is it even really worth it. The image of her is so depressing, she is just like the girl I dreamed of. “April. Sweetie. Wake up. Dr. Blue is here.” My mom said softly shaking my body. I opened my eyes rapidly, and stood up. “Dr. Blue! Where the heck have you been?!” I said a little desperate. “Hello to you too April. How have you been?” Dr. Blue asked with a big smile. “Eh. Could be better.” I said not caring. “I am glad to see you just fine.” She said softly, I just faked smiled. “Sweetie. Dr. Blue has news for us.” My mom said. “So what is it? I said harshly. “No more test, and no more clinics please.” I begged. “Don’t worry April, this actually good news.” Dr. Blue said “Am I Cured?” I said sarcastically. “No. I am sorry.” Dr. Blue said with a frown. “Than what is it?” My parents asked anxiously. “I found a treatment perfect for April. This is a medication treatment. The first step. We are hoping that this treatment stops the tumor from moving and maybe even possibly killing it. For this treatment to work, you have to follow every instruction given to you.” Dr. Blue said as she gave some papers to my parents. “And what if the possibility of this treatment working doctor?” My mom asked softly. “Thirty five percent.” Dr. Blue said softly. “When can we start?” My dad said softly. “Tomorrow, the sooner the better.” Dr. Blue said and walked towards me. “Forget it. I am not doing it.” I said softly and stood up. “What?” They all said. “I am sorry, but I am not doing it.” I said and looked down. “But April. You don’t understand.” Dr. Blue started saying. “No you don’t understand. I understand perfectly. And I am not doing. And no one is gonna force me to do something I don’t want to do.” I said and walked to the door. “I need fresh air.” And left the room. “April!” My mom yelled. I just ignored her. That wasn’t gonna change my mind. I went to the last floor of the hospital, the roof, I sat on one of the benches that was put on there by the nurses. The wind felt so nice, I felt like I could jump from the building and fly. “Hey.” I heard someone from the back speak. “I am not changing my mind dad….” I said softly. “I know…” He said. “May I?” He said as I moved so he could sit down. We didn’t speak for a while, we just stared into the world. I wanted to say something, I just didn’t know how to speak to him. “Your mom says that you are just as stubborn as me. She says that you have the same attitude than me.” He said softly. “Maybe that’s why we can’t talk to each other, without fighting.” I said “It wasn’t always like that you know.” He said with a bright smile. “It wasn’t?” I asked surprised. “No. When you were little you would always wanna go with me everywhere. You would always help me clean the yard, even to go pick up the mail outside. Kate was always the quiet one.” He said softly. “I don’t remember that.” I said softly and looked down. “You were little. Very Little.” He said softly. “Can I asked what happened…? Why did that change…?” I asked confused. “I got busier with my job, Kate got older and so did you. We liked different things. Kate was more like me. Then your grandfather came to live with us, and you got closer to him.” He said softly. “I remember that part.” I said softly. “I know you miss him.” He said softly and got my hand. “I wonder if he…. He felt this way…” I said softly. “Maybe we pressured him too much…” I added. “All I know is he wanted to live…” He said, and my heart stopped for a second. “I really don’t want too….” I said softly. “Remember what he would always tell you…” Dad said softly. “How could I forget…?” I said smiling trying to hold myself from crying. “Don’t let the darkness stop you from seeing the light.” We both said and then laughed. “He would be very mad at you…. You know right?” He said softly and slowly made me faced him. “Yeah… I am what he called a coward.” I said softly cleaning my eyes. “April.” He said as he got my hand and looked me right into the eye. “You are the bravest person I have ever met. You have the heart of a lion. You are not a coward. Do you hear me?” He said as he pressured my hands. I nodded softly, and looked down. “Do you think it will work…?” I said softly. “I am can’t promise you anything. But is worth the try…” My dad said smiling. “I guess you’re right.” I said nodding. “What do you say? You have the last word…” My dad said and looked at the sky again. I didn’t say anything, I just looked at the sky as well. “I… I guess I have nothing to lose…”I said softly, as I tried to speak up. “I’ll give it a try…” I said. “I am proud April.” Dad said softly, I just nodded with angered. “Let’s go inside and give mom the news…” He said as he stood up. I stood up as well. We both walked back. And for the first time in a long time he hugged me. “She has to do the treatment… but she is so stubborn…” Mom said softly. “There has to be away to make her do the treatment.” Dr. Blue said softly. “Put her in a clinic that’s the only way.” Mom said as she sat down “There is no need for that.” I said as my father and I walked in. “April decided to do the treatment.” My dad said as he got behind me. “Omg. Thank god.” My mom said as she ran to hug. I just stood there. Dr. Blue started to take paper work out. While my mom and dad went from hugging to hugging each other. That was the moment I realize that I was becoming Carly. I understood her now. There was no way I was becoming her. I had to stop this. “Oh sweetie.” My mom said and hugged me again. “I am doing the treatment, but under my rules.” I said softly. “What do you mean?” My parents asked. “No more sweetie. I hate the word.” I said softly. My parents just nodded. “I also want to paint my room. And this hair, will be gone.” I said softly. My parents didn’t say anything they just stared at me. I stepped back. “I need to be alone.” I said softly opening the door. My parents left without saying anything Dr. Blue just followed. I locked the door rapidly, and ran to the drawers next to my bed. I threw all the papers and gloves. “Found it.” I whispered as I got the scissors.” I put my hair in a ponytail. New beginning, I must learn to let go little by little. I cut one inch of my hair and I slowly saw it fall to ground. I know it wasn’t much. But it was a start. I was not gonna become Carly. I suddenly felt very sleepy, I guessed of the medicine I took. I walked to my bed slowly. As soon as I touched my pillow my eyes slowly closed. “Sweetie wake up… it’s time to go.” My mom whispered into my ear. “Huh….Go where…” I said as I tried to open my eyes. “Home sweetie.” My mom said softly. “Don’t call me that.” I said roughly. “Sorry. Sweet—April wake up.” My said a little harshly. “Fine, I am up.” I said as I stood up. “I’ll be ready in ten.” I said as I walked to the bathroom. “We’ll be waiting outside.” My mom said. I heard the door hit the wall loudly. I showered rapidly, I didn’t even open my eyes. I got the first thing I saw and put my hair in a ponytail. I walked to the mirror, just to make sure I looked fine. I suddenly remember Daniel, and the big lie I told him. Good thing I was going home. I got a small paper and a pen. At least he deserved a little note. I wrote rapidly, got my luggage, and ran outside. I saw my parents talking to one of the nurses. My mom waved at me as I ran to them. “Ready?” My dad said as he took the luggage away from me. “Almost. Just one more thing…” I said as I turned to the nurse. “Do you know who Daniel Jason is? He is brother of Lucy Jason, she is patient here.” I said as I looked for the note. The nurse just nodded with a confused look. “Great. Can you just give him this?” I said as I handed her the note. She took it and put in her pocket. “Thanks.” I said and turned to my parents. “Okay. Now I am ready.” I said with a big smile. “Great. Austin here we go.” My dad said laughing as we all walked to the car. “I thought you barely remember his name…” My mom whispered. “What are you talking about….” I said faking the confused looked. “You even left him a note. How romantic.” My mom said laughing. “Not that kind of note. I owed him a favor.” I said as I kept walking. “Aha whatever.” My mom said laughing. “Shut up.” I said I felt my cheeks turned red. I did not have a crush on Daniel. I talked to him for a day. My heart is not allowed to fall in love, at least for now.

The trip back to Austin was so short, maybe because I slept the whole two hours. I still felt sleepy and tired, nurses said that was normal. I loved sleeping, but it also worried me. I could sleep for two days straight without waking up. Now that is not normal. “Home sweet home!” My dad said as he parked in the drive thru. “Finally. I can sleep in my soft bed…” I said as I got out of the car. “Is that all you think about? Sleep? What about your friends? Don’t you missed them? My mom said a little worried. “All I can think about is my bed right now mom.” I said trying to open my eyes. “Nurses said it was normal honey. Let just let her sleep.” My dad said softly and tried to tickle me. I just really wanted to sleep. I walked to the door slowly I felt kind of dizzy. “Um April….” My dad said softly. “Yeah…” I answered. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” My dad asked “No. What?” I said not caring at all when I heard a dog barking. I slowly opened my eyes. “Charlie….” I whispered as I turn around. Charlie rapidly ran towards me, I hit the ground fast. He seemed so happy. “I missed you too boy…” I said as I pet him. I couldn’t get him off me. “Okay that’s enough boy. Let April stand up.” Dad said pulling Charlie away from him. “That’s okay dad. I missed him too.” I said trying to keep my eyes open. I slowly stood up. “Sorry Mr. Logan I couldn’t control him. He saw April and got really excited.” Kyle said as he ran toward us. “No worries Kyle. I was just about to tell April to go for him.” Dad said as he help me stood up. Kyle just smiled and stared at me. Great, just when I couldn’t keep myself together, he had to come. “Hey April.” Kyle said softly as he got closer to me. My eyes slowly closed, but I rapidly pull myself out of it and stepped back. Kyle stopped walking. “Hey…” I said softly. I couldn’t stay awake I just couldn’t. “We are gonna go put the luggage inside, nice seeing you Kyle.” My mom said pulling my dad away. “Nice seeing you too.” Kyle said and smiled. He turned to me again. Great, we were alone. “How was the trip?” Kyle asked trying to keep the conversation going. “It was great. I had fun I guess.” I said more calmly. “Any cute guys?” He said sarcastically. “Yes one.” I said without even thinking. Hey I wanted to sleep. “Oh okay…. Wait what?” Kyle said surprised. Was he actually thinking I was gonna say no. “What? You asked me I answered.” I said harshly. “I wasn’t expecting that answer.” Kyle said laughing. “You’re always so quiet. You never really talk about guys.” He said smiling. “I do talk. Just not with you. You’re a guy.” I said pushing him. “Oh right. Sorry. I forgot Chloe existed for a second there.” Kyle said laughing. “Whatever.” I said laughing. “Kyle. Hurry up.” The red headed girl yelled as she walked towards us. I stepped back slowly. “What’s taking so long?” Jessica said annoyed. “I was talking to April.” Kyle said as he pointed to me. Jessica just smiled softly. “April. You remember Jessica.” Kyle said quietly. I could barely even hear him. “How could I forget? Your girlfriend. Hi Jessica.” I said smiling as much as I could. “Hello. I love to stay but we have to go. Right Kyle?” Jessica said pulling him away. “We still have time.” Kyle said pulling away from Jessica. “Oh its okay no worries, I am actually really tir—ed…” I said softly. My vision got blurry, my slowly started to close, I couldn’t keep my body together. I stepped back to gain strength but I slowly tripped on my own feet. “April!” I heard Kyle yelled, as he got me from my back. I rapidly opened my eyes, just to see his eyes full of wordiness. “Sorry…” I said as I re-gained control of my body and stood up again. “Are you okay?” They both asked. “I am fine. I am just very tired. I gonna go rest. See you guys around.” I said as left walking to the front door. I didn’t even feel myself moving. I entered the house. I couldn’t see anything. I could hear my parents talk but I really just wanted to sleep. I walked to my room, tried not to trip. I closed the slowly, walked to my bed. The pillow was so soft. My eyes were absolutely closed. It felt so peaceful, my body was flying. My world slowly went black. The days went fast quickly. I didn’t do much since I got back from the clinic. I would just be in my room, decorating. I painted my walls pink and purple, now it looked colorful. I couldn’t decide what color to paint the ceiling it had to be unique though. I also made a huge sign with the word sweetie inside a not allowed sign. I decide to put it where it was the first thing one saw when coming in. The front wall in the family room was the perfect place. I also cut my hair once every week. So far I had cut it two times. Is a progress. I was also nicer to my parents, believe it or not. I am only getting closer to my dad in a weird but good way. With my mom, well I just trying to be nice with her. We don’t really talk. Well since she can’t say sweetie anymore, she just smiles softly. School was coming up. Everyone in town seemed pretty excited, except me. I didn’t want to go. None of my classmates new that was sick, besides Chloe of course. It would be almost impossible to hide it. I would be living a lie. If they ever found out, it would just be torture to go. I thought about asking my parents to move to another city. But that would be selfish just to leave everything behind. I just had to suck it up. Two hours before its midnight. I am sitting in the couch I am wearing my earphones, and listening to music as loud as I can. I closed my eyes slowly, and let the music flow into my body. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger… The lyrics just flowed around my body. The music made me wanna fly. “What are you listening too?” Dad said as he sat next to me. “Kelly Clarkson.” I said not wanting to open my eyes. “You can go listen to Kelly Clarkson tomorrow. Time to go to sleep.” My dad said and disconnected the earphones from my phone. “You have school tomorrow. Remember?” He added with a big smile. “About that…. I was thinking it would be way better if get home schooled.” I said turning to him. “I know what you’re trying to do. It’s not gonna work. You’re going to school.” My dad said as he changed the channel. “But…” I said begging him. “That is that. Go to sleep now.” My said and pointed upstairs. “Ugh fine….” I said as I forced my feet to walk. “April. Don’t forget to take your medication.” My mom yelled from the kitchen. “Pfft…. I won’t.” I said super annoyed. I laid in my bed. I couldn’t close my eyes for some reason. I was so nervous. I was gonna spend my junior year full of lies. I had to figure out a way, I cannot go to school, I won’t be able to handle it. I love learning something new every day. I have always enjoyed going to school. It helps me concentrate, or takes me out of my problems. But this year, I don’t even think I am gonna enjoy it. Have you ever heard nerd saying they don’t want to go to school? No? Well you just read about one. My bike was ready, and so was my backpack. I was staring out the window, waiting for Kyle to come out. I wanted things to be as normal as possible. If I was gonna pretend everything was okay, I should at least try and be okay. I started feeling a little excited now I guess. But that didn’t last long. I saw Kyle come out with his bike, but not alone, he was with Jessica. They both got in their bikes. They were laughing and smiling. They seemed so happy, so perfect for each other. I slowly closed the curtains. Maybe it would best if my parents drove me to school. “Hey sweetie ready for school…” Mom said softly as she took a zip of her coffee. “Sorry I mean April…” She whispered. “It’s okay mom…” I said as I turned to my full plate of food. “I am not really hungry…” I said push the plate to the side. “You can take it to school if you want…” Mom said as she sat down. “No thanks…” I said as looked at the time on my phone. “I leaving to work!” Dad yelled as he came down the stairs. “Breakfast is ready!” My mom yelled. “I am in a hurry, I’ll get something on the way.” My dad said as he gave mom and me a kiss on the forehead. My mom looked hurt. She always made a breakfast for my dad, he would never eat it. I wonder if he had a mental problem. “Dad wait!” I said as I got my backpack and ran to him. “Yeah?” He said crashing in to me. “Could you take me to school?” I said as I walked outside. “I guess I don’t I have a choice.” He said laughing and walked behind me. I just smiled softly. I tried as much as possible not to turn towards and Jessica. I would break my heart. “So… what’s up with you and Kyle? How come you didn’t go to school with him?” My dad said as he drove. “A girl can’t have daughter-father time with her dad?” I said sarcastically as I changed the radio station. “Ha-ha right! “Dad said laughing. “Better question is what’s up with you and mom?” I said really curious. “Mom knows I love her. That’s all that matters.” Dad said with a big smile. “Hey Remember? Our song!” Dad said as he started singing. Eye of the tiger came on. My dad and I would always sing that song when I was little. “Are you ready?” My dad said laughing. “Dad please…” I said trying to act annoying. “Come on A! You know the lyrics by memory!” My dad said as the intro from the song ended. “Rising up, back on the street. Took my time, took my chances” Dad started singing. “Oh please dad! No!” I said covering my face. “Went the distance, now I'm back on my feetjust a man and his will to survive.” Dad kept singing. “Come on A!” He added laughing. I just smiled softly still covering my face. “So many times it happens too fastyou change your passion for glory…” I sang softly, still covering my face. “Come on louder!” My dad yelled. I laughed suddenly and un-covered my face. “Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the pastyou must fight just to keep them alive” I sang as I laughed. “There you go girl!” My dad said smiling and sang again. “It's the eye of the tigerit’s the thrill of the fightrising up to the challenge of our rival. It's the eye of the tigerit’s the thrill of the fightrising up to the challenge of our rival, and the last known survivorStalks his prey in the nightAnd he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger” I kept singing. I wasn’t really embarrassed anymore. We kept singing the song until we got to school. It was like a daughter-father moment. The song finish right when my dad stopped car in the drive way. “I’ll see you later!” I said opening the door. “You have a nice voice April! Maybe you should join coir this year!” My dad said smiling. “Thanks. But I’ll like to keep my voice a secret.” I said softly. My dad just nodded annoyed. “Hey dad?” I said as I got out. “Yeah?” He turned to me. “Thanks.” I said as I closed the door. Threw my bag to my back and slowly walked away. School didn’t change at much. Same teenagers who all they could think about was partying. It was a very normal stereotype school. Jocks, nerds, preppies, skaters, emos, and the ones that talk to everyone. I wasn’t very popular, but Kyle and Chloe were. Chloe is the random weird girl, everyone likes and invites to parties. Her smile and her laugh bights up the whole school. Kyle is one of the cutest guys in school. Every girl here will die just to see him smile. They call me the lucky girl, I do not feel lucky. I am just the girl who hides in their shadow. I saw my dad car leave the school parking, I look around the school. “Okay you can do this. Come on April.” I whispered to myself as I forced my body to walk towards the door. As I entered school, I saw this long table with bunch of letters taped in front. I sang the alphabet as I read every letter. “A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L…Found it.” I whispered. I walked to the table. Thankfully there wasn’t a line for the letter “L”. A lady with black hair was standing right in front of me but she was turning the other way. She turned when she heard me breath. “Oh I am sorry sweetie.” The lady said as she turned. Great that word. I just looked at her with a really annoyed face. “What’s your Na—me?” I handed her my school I.D. before she would call me sweetie again. “Oh. Miss April Logan. Isn’t that right?” The lady said smiling. I nodded softly and gave her a small smile. “Beautiful name.” She said as she looked for my schedule. I just blushed and smile. “Here you go Ms. Logan! Have a wonderful day and school year!” She said and handed me a purple piece of paper and lock with a number to my locker. “Thanks! Have a nice day!” I said as I got my schedule. I softly smile and walked away. Everyone seemed to go to the cafeteria. I didn’t feel to start hugging people that I didn’t even missed. I turned to the lock and read the number. “69” I whispered. I walked to the locker’s hallway. It wasn’t as hard as I thought to find my locker. I opened it and threw my backpack in it. “April!” Chloe yelled from the back. I turned rapidly towards her. Before I could say anything, I felt this warm pressure. Chloe hugged me as hard a she could. I couldn’t even breathe. I wasn’t gonna deny it though, I missed her hugs. “April. I missed you so much!” Chloe said still hugging me. “I missed you too Chloe…” I said hugging her back. “I was so worried! I called you several times but you never answered! Kyle told me you went to Dallas!” Chloe said rapidly as she let go off me. “Oh yeah sorry… I was gonna call back. But some things came up.” I said softly. “Things? What things? Everything is okay right?” Chloe said really loud. “Yeah everything is fine.” I said softly and leaned on my locker. “Great. OMG. How was Dallas? Any cute guys?” Chloe said all of the sudden and jumped up and down. “Chloe I was in a clinic not on vacation….” I said super annoyed. “Oh right…. Sorry.” Chloe said softly and leaned on the locker too. “But well there was this one guy….” I said softly, and looked to the floor. “Wait what?” Chloe said standing straight again. “OMG. Was he cute?” She yelled. “Super cute!” I said laughing and blushing. “OMG! Tell me everything!” Chloe yelled. “Okay well I met him in the clinic. We didn’t talk much. But he is super nice and really cute.” I said rapidly. “What’s his name?” Chloe asked curiously. “April?” I heard a voice say my name. My heart froze. I didn’t really talk to boys. I only talked to Kyle and that wasn’t his voice. I turned rapidly. “No way…” I whispered as I try to speak. “Remember me? We met in the clinic!” He said with a big smile. “Daniel! What-what are you doing here?” I asked really surprised. “My dad got a job offer here! He decided to take it.” Daniel said and got closer to me. “What about your sister?” I asked remembering the lie I told him. “My mom stayed with her, nothing has changed.” He said softly. “Oh…” I said softly. “Is that how you are gonna welcome me? No hug or hand shake?” He said with a big smile. “Oh! Welcome to Franklin High!” I said happily raising my hand to shake his hand. “You dork.” He said as he pulled me into a hug. “Thanks” He whispered in my ear. I felt my whole body heat up. “Mmm! Chloe said loudly. I rapidly push Daniel away. “Umm… Daniel meet Chloe. Chloe meet Daniel.” I said really fast. “Nice too meet you.” They both said. “Where did you guys meet?” Chloe asked “At the clinic in Dallas.” Daniel said rapidly beating me. “Oh at the clinic.” Chloe said and wink at me. “Yeah since her dad is doctor, April spend a lot of time in the clinic?” Daniel said smiling. “A doctor? April dad is no—t” Chloe said laughing. I hit her stomach with my elbow. “He is not a like other doctors. I already told him that.” I said rapidly. Chloe looked at me strangely. “Oh yeah. She told me something about that.” Daniel said softly. “But I am still hoping check my sister out.” He said softly. “I’ll ask him again. He is a very busy man….” I said rapidly. “Daniel don’t you have to go pick up your schedule?” I added. “Yes. Yes I do. Do you guys know where?” He said suddenly worried. “If you’re a new student. You have to go to the office. Which is straight and then the last office or room to your right.” I said making hand signals. “Thanks. I’ll be right back.” He said and ran down the hall. I rapidly turned towards Chloe. “A doctor? Your dad was not a doctor last time I checked! “Chloe said yelling. “Shhhs. Sorry! I kind of lied to him….” I said looking down. “Kind of? April! You lied about your whole life.” Chloe yelled. “Look okay! I wasn’t gonna lie to him. But he pressured me. He said I was too beautiful to be sick. That took me off track. I thought I was never gonna see him again. I left the next day. How was I supposed to know he would come to Austin and to this school?!” I said really frustrated. “Oh April. What are you gonna do now? You have to tell him the truth sooner or later. Are you just gonna punch everyone who tries to tell him the truth?” Chloe said sarcastically. “Yes.” I said firmly. “What? April I was joking! You can’t lie to him forever….” Chloe said really confused. “Chloe please just go with it….” I said begging her. “April…. Okay I’ll go with it….” She said softly. I hugged her rapidly. She pushed me away, she seemed disappointed. “But how are you gonna do it with the rest? They are not me….” She said upset. “Only two people know my dad is not a doctor. One of them is you.. So no worries.” I sad softly. “You can’t live a life full of lies. Your only gonna keep lying to cover one lie April.” She said softly. “The April I know never lied…. What’s going on April?” Chloe said literally about to cry. “I am still the same April. I promise you no more lies….” I said with a smile. “So that means your gonna tell Kyle?” Chloe said all of the sudden. “Yes! Wait I mean No!” I said rapidly. “You have to tell Kyle now! He deserves to know.” Chloe said. “I deserve to know what?” Kyle said as he walked toward us holding Jessica’s hand. I stared at Chloe with my you’re so dead look. Chloe just looked down. I started coughing and pretended to look for my water bottle. “Girls! What do I deserve to know?!” Kyle said loudly. “April do you think you can help me find me classes?” Daniel said as he walked passed Kyle. “Yeah! I’ll love too. Let me see!” I said as I took Daniel’s schedule off his hands. “Okay come on!” I said pulling him by the arm. “I’ll see you guys later!” I yelled as I walked away. “April!” Kyle yelled annoyed and turned towards Chloe. “Don’t look at me. You know how April is. I have to go too.” Chloe said as she walked behind me. “Baby no offense. But your friends are a little umm how do I say this weird.” Jessica said softly. “Welcome to my world.” Kyle said as he hit one of the lockers with his fist. It turn out that Daniel and I had our first class together. He was so excited about school, and more excited he got when he found out we had several classes together. We entered the classroom right after the first bell rang. No one was there just us, I felt nerdy. A stick note with our name was stick into every desk in the classroom. We walked around to find our name. “April Logan…” I read softly. To my luck my desk was next to one of the windows. I had a distraction just in case I got bored. Sadly Daniel was not assigned next to me. His desk was in the middle row second column in the front, I was in his left back. He turned to me with a big smile, he seemed kind of nervous. I smiled back hoping to relax him. Students started to walk in. Everyone seemed so happy and excited. I wish I could feel that way. They spoke very loud. I did not need to know who they hooked up with during the summer. All the desk started to get full, this was going to be a full class. I got out one of my binders and pen. I am very organized when it comes to school. I saw Chloe come in, she was assigned to sit next to the door in the front. Not a surprise Chloe always sits in the front. She probably asked the teacher to sit her in the front. Chloe is really smart, but she is not classified as a nerd. She has a brain of a nerd but she is too hot to be one. Lucky her, huh… She turned to me and then to Daniel she just smiled softly. I got the sense she was still mad at me, great. The second bell rang, that was the one minute warning bell. You could hear all the students running up and down the hall way. Yupp they were totally late. Kyle suddenly walked into the classroom, breathless. Which was weird because Kyle was always super early to class, believe it or not. He wasn’t alone though, Jessica walked behind him, and they were holding hands. I felt like throwing up. Chloe rapidly turned towards me. She had a freaked out face. Don’t get her wrong, some part of it was about Jessica but she was mostly freaked out about Daniel. Kyle and Daniel would talk to each other at some point in this class. Sooner or later they would both find out the truth. I nodded softly and smile at her. She looked so nervous, I was scared she would just end up yelling the whole truth to the entire class. Jessica sat next to Chloe. I didn’t know who I should feel bad for, Chloe or Jessica. They obviously did not like each other, it was going to be a long year. Kyle and another girl were the only ones left on finding a seat. As I turned to the seat next to me Kyle name was written in really big words. I felt like I was gonna die. “Hey.” He said as he read his name on the desk. “Hey.” I said softly. “I am guessing we are partners for this class.” He said as he sat down. “Guess so.” I said really harshly. The last bell rang, and our teacher came in and roughly close the door. This year was going to be a total disaster. “Good morning students!” The Professor said as he walked to the middle of the class. “Good morning…” A few students said. “What was that?” He said sarcastically. “Let’s try this again.” He added as he took out a microphone. “Good morning students!” He said yelling through the microphone. It freaked out every student in the class. The whole classroom got quite. “Good morning!” We all yelled back.

“Good. Now we are talking.” He said as he put down the microphone. “Welcome to my class!” He said with a big smile. He had this England accent, it wasn’t the best but he wasn’t bad at it either. “As you all can see in your schedule, there is no name for this class.” He said as he walked in circles. Chloe rapidly raised her hand. “No it was not a system mistake.” He said as he pointed to Chloe, she slowly put her hand down. “You see I couldn’t really decide a name for this class.” He said thoughtfully. “I spend all summer thinking of name but nothing came up. So I decided, why not let the students make a name for this class.” He added. “You want us to name your class?” Chloe said softly and confused. “Yes, yes I do.” He said firmly. “Okay what’s this class about?” A girl in the back asked. We all softly said “Yeah!” “Great question! It’s about you.” He said softly. Everyone started to mumble. “It’s also about you, you, you, you, and you. It’s about everyone in this room.” He said loudly. We were all very confused, we were taking a class about us. Like is this a joke. “This class is about finding yourself. Is about living the life you want to live. Being yourself, not who they want you to be. No stereotypes, no society, no rules.” He added. I rapidly open my binder and wrote that down. “My name is Lucas Mason. Just call me Lucas. Don’t ever call me Mr. Mason.” He said as he sat down on the desk. Kyle turn to me, we both smile. “That’s all this class is gonna be about?” Kyle said softly. “You don’t think it’s enough? Lucas said as he turn to us. “This class will not be easy. I can almost assure you that this will be the hardest class you will ever take.” He added. “You know why?” He asked. Kyle just nodded and looked down. “Madame Do you know why?” Lucas said as he pointed to me. “Because we don’t even know who we are…” I said softly and looked down. “We are too scared to talk about ourselves. Whenever we are asked to describe ourselves we freak out.” He said loudly. “And that’s why I am here, because I want all of you find yourself, the real you. At the end of the year I want you all to be able to tell me who you are without any hesitation. That’s why I am here. ” He said softly. Everyone in the room was very quiet. I kept writing everything he said. “I was giving a list of all the students in this school, and all of the students I choose you. You better not make me regret it. I studied every single one of you. I know what you like, what you don’t like, and who you are crushing on.” Lucas said as he pointed to random students. We all laughed and mumbled. “I am not joking. I am dead serious.” He yelled. Everyone just kept laughing. “Any questions?” He asked but everyone kept talking and laughing. Kyle and I look around the whole class and then smile at each other. “Okay then…” He said as he open a book. “I want you all to bring me a two page paper about who you are, by tomorrow morning.” Lucas said softly. Everyone started to mumble, I just wrote everything he said down. The whole class got quite again. “No excuses.” He said and sat on the desk again. “I thought you said you knew everything about us?” A boy in the back said laughing. “I do know everything about you. But you don’t.” Lucas said as he sat on his chair. The boy just turned down and started using his phone. “Okay well that’s all for today. I’ll see all of you tomorrow. “Lucas said as he open a book, he put his feet on top of the desk and leaned his chair back and forward. “That’s it? You’re not gonna teach us anything….” Chloe said loudly as she closed her binder. “I just gave you homework. What else do you want?” Lucas said as he kept reading his book. “Are you gonna at least lecture us?!” Chloe said loudly again. “I already did. I like going right to the point. Now if you excused me, I want to read my book.” Lucas said sarcastically and turned to his book again. “What are all of you still doing here? Go!” He said loudly and pointed to the door. All of the sudden everyone stood up and ran to the door. I turned to Chloe she seemed pretty upset. “She’ll be fine…” Kyle said as he turned to Chloe. “Yeah…. I know…” I said softly. “So where are you heading next?” Kyle asked as he stood up and got his backpack. “Umm… Looks like study hall…” I said as I read my schedule. “Lucky… I have math next.” He said with an annoyed face. “Maybe you’ll like it this year…” I said sarcastically. “Aha yeah. I liking math is like you liking P.E.” Kyle said laughing. “On second thought…. Good luck!” I said softly. We both laughed quietly. We walked to where Chloe and Jessica were at. Jessica was at the door waiting for Kyle and Chloe was getting her backpack ready. “Ready?” We both said as we stopped. We blushed a little. “Ready.” Chloe said as she turned to me. “Okay well let’s go.” Kyle said as we walked out of the classroom. Jessica got Kyle hand and got in the middle of me and him but Kyle pushed her softly to the other side. “Took you long enough.” Daniel said from the back. We all turned back rapidly. “Daniel! I thought you left.” I said softly with a smile. “I decided to wait for you. I need your help finding my class.” Daniel said quietly, a little embarrassed. I smiled softly and nodded. “Sure I’ll help you.” I said as I walked to him. “Mmm…” Kyle said faking a cough. I turned to them rapidly. “Oh sorry guys. I promise Daniel I would help him today. You guys go ahead and go I’ll see you later.” I said softly and turned to Daniel. “Come on Kyle let’s go…” Jessica said as she tried to pull Kyle. “Yeah… I guess…” Kyle said as he turned to Chloe. “You coming Chloe?” He asked suddenly. “You guys go ahead, I’ll go with April and Daniel.” Chloe said as she walked behind me. “Is not like a mind at all…” Kyle whispered as we walked away. He and Jessica left the opposite direction. I felt bad for him, I didn’t want him to think I had changed him for Daniel. First I felt awkward being with him and Jessica. Second I had to keep Daniel away from Kyle or my secret will get out. Daniel was very excited to be in school. He couldn’t stop talking, I could even say he wasn’t even breathing. I wasn’t as excited as he was but I didn’t want him to notice. I just nodded, smiled, and laughed once in a while. Chloe didn’t say much. She just walked behind me, as she texted to probably the whole school. Chloe is pretty much always on her phone. Her world pretty much revolves around it. Every time I turned to her she just gave me a soft smile. “I’ll see you guys later, this is my stop.” Chloe said softly as she looked at her schedule. “Oh okay…. Well it was nice meeting you…Um…” Daniel said softly as he looked at me and back at Chloe. “Chloe… My name is Chloe. Nice meeting you too… See you around…” Chloe said with a soft smile as she walked to the class. “See you at lunch A!” She yelled as we both walked off. I just waived back. “Oh God! I almost forgot! What lunch do you have?” I asked rapidly. Daniel looked at me with a super confused look. I laughed softly as I took his schedule out of his hand. “B Lunch. You have B Lunch.” I whispered at him. “What does that mean?” He said confused. “It just means that you’re going to the second lunch. Just go to this three classes. After the last one you head to the cafeteria.” I said softly and handed him back his schedule. “Thanks. You’re a life saver.” Daniel said with a really bright smile. “I don’t know about a life saver but you do owe me one…” I said softly. “Well this is your stop. Science hall.” I said softly. “I’ll be right next hall first classroom to your right, just in case you need something.” I said softly. “Thanks.” He said as he grabbed me from my arm and pushed me to him. I freaked out for a second. No guy had ever hugged me twice in a row. Not even Kyle. “No problem!” I said as I pushed away. “Good luck.” I added as I walked to my classroom and waived at him. My other two classes went by really fast. Well not as fast as my first class but they weren’t that painful. The first day of school, is like the easiest day ever. All teachers talk about is what we are gonna do for the rest of the year. All students say their name and what they did during the summer. We fill out a couple of paper work and before we know it, class ends. You know what time it is now? Lunch time. Lunch time here is like when criminals break through jail. Everyone ran’s to the cafeteria. Bunch maniacs I would say. I would run too, but running isn’t my best talent. I try to walk the slowest I can, so won’t get push or pulled on. Students here are very wild, they do anything for food. When I say anything, I mean anything. As I get to the lobby I see Daniel standing right in the middle, next to this big tiger statue. I giggled to myself softly as I walked to him. As soon as he sees me his smiles. It’s almost as if he was waiting for me. “What are you doing here?” I said softly as I walk toward him. “Waiting for you… Duh!” He said as he winked at me playfully. “Ohh… Well I am here now! Wanna go eat?” I said as I tried to keep my backpack in place. “Yeah! I am starving!” He said as he touched his stomach. I nodded cheerfully as we walked to the cafeteria. The cafeteria was packed. The lines were all the way on the first floor. Daniel looked a little freaked out. I pulled him to the stairs to go find Chloe. “Hey April!” Chloe yelled from afar away table on the very corner. As we walked towards her I notice a lot of people around the table. This should be good. “Hey guys…” I said as I got close to Chloe. “Hey…” Everyone said with their mouth full. I looked around the table as I saw Kyle and some jocks from the school. We usually didn’t seat with the jocks. Well actually we never did. “Why are you guys sitting her? Who are they?” I whispered to Chloe. “I have no idea…. Kyle and Jessica came with all of them…” Chloe whispered back. “Kyle… Of course. “Hey April! Take a seat!” Kyle said as he swallowed his hamburger. I nodded as I walked to him but Jessica and few girls pushed me to the side and sat next to Kyle. Okay now I am upset. “Oh! I am starving!” Jessica said as she sat down. The other girls just giggled as if there we some sort of flowers and she was the leader. “Jessica, April and Chloe were gonna seat there.” Kyle said softly. “Ohh… I am sorry…” Jessica said as if she had barely seen me. “Kyle can I talk to you… alone…” I said with a fake smile. “Yeah sure.” Kyle said as he stood up. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into another table. “What’s up?” He said cheerfully not getting any clue. “Are those football players, and cheerleaders?” I whispered confused. “Yeah… Well Jessica met the girls in Dance and the girls. Jessica offered them to eat with us and the girls told the guys. But they are cool so don’t worry.” Kyle said with a big smile. “Oh… Jessica…”I said softly. “Yeah everything okay?” Kyle asked confused. “Oh yeah everything is perfect! Except for the part that Chloe, Daniel and I have nowhere to seat!” I yelled. “Don’t get so mad about it. When you go get your plate. Will be gone and you can seat down and eat.” Kyle said annoyed. “You’re gonna leave with them?” I asked confused. “Well yeah…. Jessica wants to hang out with them. Jessica is my girlfriend so… yeah I am.” Kyle said softly. “And why do you care? You left with that guy too!” Kyle added. “That guy’s name is Daniel! And that’s totally different! Daniel is new to the school! I am just showing him around!” I said angrily. “Well Jessica is new too.” Kyle argued. “I am the only person he knows.” I argued back. “Well…..” Kyle said trying to think of a good excuse. “You know what. Stay with your new popular friends! I’ll just go with Daniel.” I said harshly. “April you can seat here when we are done.” Jessica said and giggled. “Thanks for the offer. But I don’t like waiting.” I said as I pulled Daniel and Chloe with me. “And where are we gonna seat?” Chloe asked as we got in line. “Its nice today, we can eat outside.” I said with a big smile. “Yeah! I like that.” Daniel said softly. “Yeah. It won’t hurt.” Chloe said and smiled back at me. I clapped by hands and hugged her. The line actually moved fast. Before we knew it we were already getting our plates. Chloe and Kyle got there plate and waited for me right next to the lunch lady asking for I.Ds. I got my plate and walked to show the lunch lady. The lady suddenly grabbed a piece of paper and gave it to me. The paper said in blue ink. “Mrs. Logan please passed to the nurse office to take your medication.” I freaked out for a second there, I wonder if the lunch ladies knew about my illness. I smiled at her and walked to Daniel and Chloe. “Ready?” Daniel said softly and smiled at me. “Yeah… sure…” I said still looking at the note. We walked outside, the sun was up and shinning. Let’s just say it was hot. We walked around the tables just to find one with a shadow. “You okay?” Chloe whispered at me. “Read this?” I handed her the note nervously. “Oh my. Don’t worry A! I’ll cover you!” Chloe said softly and smiled at me. “Thanks…” I said softly. “Is this a good spot?” Daniel said as he pointed to a table right next to the window where Kyle’s table was at. “It’s the perfect spot!” I said and wink at Chloe. Chloe just giggled. We sat down and started to eat. “So Daniel how do you like the school so far?” Chloe said suddenly as she took a bite of her hamburger. “I love it! Everyone seems pretty nice!” Daniel said with a big smile. “Oh! Well I am glad! This school is a little wild! But nothing you can’t handle!” Chloe said laughing. “Oh trust me I can handle it. I was very popular in the last school I was in Dallas.” Daniel said softly. “So how come you moved here?” Chloe asked confused. “Well my dad got a job offer here. But mostly because I didn’t want to be popular anymore. It annoyed me, it was like I didn’t have any privacy.” Daniel said and looked down. “Wow. Never thought I would hear someone say that…” Chloe said surprised. “Wow you just heard it from me.” Daniel said laughing. “That’s one thing you and April have in common. She hates being the one getting the attention.” Chloe said laughing. I just nodded as I ate my burger. “Yeah I know that already. She doesn’t really say much.” Daniel said as he turned to me and smiled. I looked at him with a confused look. We only talked once for like five minutes, he doesn’t know anything about me. “I am guessing you guys spend a lot of time together in Dallas.” Chloe said as she looked at both of us. We both just kept staring but then looked down when Chloe started to cough to remind us she was also there. “No.” Daniel and I said at the same time. I don’t know about Daniel, but I couldn’t stop blushing. “Okay? So when did you guys meet? Tell me everything.” Chloe said as she stared back and forth to Daniel and me. We both giggled, but Chloe wasn’t kidding she did want to know everything. “There isn’t much to say…” I said softly as I took another bite of my hamburger. “I still want to know everything.” Chloe said really serious. “Okay well we met at park next to the hospital in Dallas. Every day some of the kids from the hospital go play basketball there, and I would go and watch them.” Daniel said with a big smile. “Umm Interesting… So you were watching a basketball game… What were you doing A? Chloe said curious. I was about to say something but Daniel beat me to it. “She was also watching the game. Well kind of, she was “keeping track of the score” but she was just writing in her journal.” Daniel said and winked at me as she “Hey! I was keeping track of the score! You even asked me who was winning!” I argued back trying to swallow. “Wait. You have a journal April?” Chloe said chocked. “Yes she does.” Daniel said and winked at Daniel. “I do not have a journal. Is just a book were I write and scribble.” I said nervously. “That’s a journal.” Chloe said and Daniel just nodded. “Oh whatever. I do not have a journal! Okay!” I yelled nervously. “Okay…”Chloe said laughing. “Fine with me…” Daniel said laughing as well. I just felt my face get super red. We all finished eating our burgers, and just kept talking about how Daniel I had met. Chloe didn’t seemed that mad anymore, she actually liked Daniel. Daniel seemed to like Chloe too, but then again Daniel is a sweetheart. I loved his smile, it made me forget about my life for a second. “Enjoying your hamburgers?” A girl said from the back. Chloe and I turned around to her. To our surprise Jessica and Kyle were standing behind us. “We are, actually! Thanks for asking.” I said with a big smile. Daniel and Chloe giggle softly. Jessica went from smiling to a sort of angry face. She tried to keep her smile, but she just couldn’t hold it. Kyle didn’t really look at us, he just looked to the side avoiding eye contact. He seemed upset, but I didn’t care, I was upset too. “Best hamburger I ever tasted.” Daniel said as he pushed his plate aside and winked at me. I turn back to Kyle and Jessica. “Right… Well we are heading to the football field.” Jessica said softly. “Right babe?” She added as she got Kyle’s hand. “Yeah…” Kyle said softly still not making eye contact. Chloe and I just looked at each other. “Well… have fun.” Chloe said sarcastically as she turned to Kyle. She seemed pretty upset. “Oh I am sorry, how rude. Would you guys like too come?” Jessica said in really girly voice. “Ha-ha.” I yelled softly. “Jessica, obviously Kyle hasn’t told you a lot about me. I am not sport kind of girl. The Football field and I aren’t the best match.” I said laughing. Jessica just looked really annoyed. “Well I think we should go now.” Chloe said as she stood up. Daniel stood up as well and got our plates. “See you later.” She said as she walked between Kyle and Jessica. “Sorry again. But you guys enjoy your lunch.” I said as I got my bag. I felt Daniel behind me, as we both walked away. “You really don’t like that girl huh?” Daniel said laughing as we walked to the lobby. “It’s a thing. We never like any of Kyle’s girlfriends.” I said with a smile. “And well they don’t like us. They think he spends too much time with us.” Chloe said laughing. “Well that must suck for you guys…” Daniel said worried and scratched his head. “Not really. In the end Kyle always chooses us.” Chloe said and smiled. “Ohh… Well in the case never mind.” Daniel said still confused. Chloe and I just looked at each other and laughed. “Umm… this is our stop we have to talk to the counselor to ask about our credits.” Chloe said with a fake smile. “Ohh okay! I’ll go with you.” Daniel said as he opened the office door. “No! “Chloe and I said as we rapidly closed the door. Daniel looked at us weirdly. “We are probably gonna take a long time…” Chloe said nervously and smiled. “It’s okay I’ll wait.” Daniel said smiling. I looked at Chloe nervously. “Chloe is right. You should go. I’ll see you later okay.” I said softly and smiled at him. “Mmm. Okay then. I’ll see you later.” Daniel said as he waved goodbye. “Really, all you had to was smile!?” Chloe said sarcastically. “Eh what can I say… it’s a gift!” I said and winked at her. “Come on…” I said as I pushed at to the too the door. We walked through a small hallway we passed several offices and the counselor office. Finally the nurse office. As I walked in I notice no one was there, thank God. “Hello?” I said as I enter the room. “Hi! How may I help you?” A short lady with glasses and curly hair said as she turned to me. “Well a cafeteria lady gave me this note.” I said nervously as I showed her the note. She got her glasses and pressured her vision to read the note. “Ah! Yes Ms. Logan! I’ve waiting for you…” The nurse said as she got a bag full of medicine from her drawer. “Here you go. Take one of each.” She handed me one pill for each prescription. I looked at all the medicine and started to freak out. “Your doctor said you had to take them every day. We don’t want you to get sick, now don’t we?” she said with a soft smile and handed me a cup of water. I nodded confusedly and took one pill at a time. I handed her the cup, but she just threw to the trash. “Well I think that’s all for today. You’ll take the rest when you get home sweetie.” She said and sat back in her chair. Ugh that word again. Chloe and I started to walk away when froze and walked back to her. “Do you know?” I said softly. She just nodded, her hair just went up and down. “Who else knows?” I added “The cafeteria ladies, the principle, and well your teachers. They must know.” She said with a frown and a smile at the same time. Well that’s just great huh?“Thanks.” I said softly, she just nodded and went back to her own business. I walked to where Chloe was again. “This is gonna be harder than you thought huh?” Chloe said with an “I told you” face. I just nodded and kept walking to the lobby. “Don’t worry A! Will find a way!” Chloe said with a big smile. “Well I hope I can at least hide it for a while…” I said softly. “Just until I am able to get use to all of this.” I added. Chloe nodded as we kept walking. “Just let it flow. Whatever happens well it happens.” Chloe said softly as she hugged me left to her class. I just nodded and walked down the hallway. This wasn’t gonna be easy. School had finally ended, I was tired and annoyed. Since I didn’t bring my bike I had to walk back home. I hated walking by myself, it was boring. I needed to talk to somebody instead of just think stupid things. “Hey April! Wait up!” I heard someone yelled from the back. I turned rapidly and there it was the cutest smile ever running towards me. “Daniel? What are you doing here?” I asked surprised. “My dad is still working and well I have to walk home.” He said softly and caught up to me. “Well that makes too of us.” I said with a soft smile and kept walking. “Do you always walk home?” Daniel asked and started to walk too. “Well not exactly, I usually ride the bike with Kyle.” I said quietly. “Oh… let me guess that always changes when he gets a girlfriend?” He asked turning to me. “Actually no. This is the first time. “I said softly. “Oh well I am sorry. I can see it bothers you seen him with her.” He says with a frown. “What? No. It doesn’t bothers me. I am cool with it.” I said trying to act cool for the first time. He just nodded. “So what did you think of my friends?” I said changing the subject. “Well Chloe is really funny. She is so social and loves to talk. But she can also be really serious. She just pretty cool. I mean not like many of the girls I met before. Kyle well I didn’t really talk to him. But I guess he is okay I mean I can see he is very popular and stuff.” Daniel said super-fast. “Yeah. They are both popular I guess you could say. Chloe is the dance group and Kyle he is in football and soccer. They literally have it all.” I said laughing. “What about you? Are you in anything?” He asked suddenly. “I was the first year. But sports aren’t my thing. So I decided just to be the watcher.” I said really fast. “Yeah kind of though so.” He said sarcastically. I just pushed him softly. “You know I find it odd you guys are best friends.” He said laughing. “Believe me I do too… But Ehhh we are all so different it just works.” I said really loud. “I think you’re the one who makes it work.” He said laughing. “What do you mean?” I asked confused as we turned to the right of the street. “Yeah you’re like the rock of the group. You’re like the base, the home, you know…” He tried to explain. “ “Never really thought about it that way….” I said thoughtfully. “Think about it. Ask Chloe and Kyle. They will agree.” He said softly as he stopped in front of a big white house. It looked like a mansion. “Wow!” I said loudly. “Welcome to my casa!” Daniel said with a big smile and pointed to the house. “It’s so big!” I said still surprise. “Yeah…. I said the same thing. But my dad likes to have big houses.” He said softly as he opened the fence, “Well it’s beautiful.” I said with a smile. “Thanks!” He said smiling. “I live a few blocks from here! Maybe you could visit sometime!” I said softly. “Sure I’ll love too!” He said happily. “Great I’ll see you tomorrow!” I said and waved as he closed his fence door and went in. I started to walk to my house again. I could hear my stomach growl of hunger. What I can say I love eating. My house wasn’t really far from Daniel’s house. We are practically neighbors. I felt my phone vibrate suddenly. I threw my bag to my back and stretched my armed to my pants back pocket. My phone kept vibrating, Woah, someone was in a hurry. “Hello?” I said as I answered. “Hi Honey… Are you almost home?” Mom said through the phone. “Yeah… I am a few houses away…” I said as I looked around the street to cross to the other side. “Oh okay… Well I had to do some errands but I left dinner ready in case you’re hungry.” Mom said softly. “Okay mom.” I said softly “Okay then honey, I’ll see you later then. Don’t starve yourself okay. Take your medicine. Love you.” My mom said rapidly. “I will. Love you too.” I said as I hanged up. I kept walking slowly as I looked at the time. I stopped suddenly. It was early and didn’t want to be all day home. Why not a visit a friend right? I stepped backwards as I turned. “Hey April you okay?” Kyle said from the back as he stopped his bike. “Yeah I am perfect…” I said as I turned to him. “I got go.” I said as I started to walk away. “April wait…”Kyle said as he grabbed me by the arm. My heart literally froze, and so did my lungs. I tried to breath but I could only feel my lips getting drier by the minute. “Yeah…” I said pulling away but he pulled me back to turn him. “I just feel like we are not been us.” Kyle said softly. I stepped back a little. He was right we were acting weird. Kyle and I always tell each other the truth, no matter what. It’s a best friend thing I guess. “What do you mean?” I said faking a smile. “Well you know…” Kyle started to say. I looked at him weirdly, just to give him a hard time. “I just want to know if we are okay.” Kyle added. “Yeah we are okay. We are better than okay, we are like perfect.” I said nervously. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Kyle asked again. “Yeah I am fine. Kyle I love to stay and chat but I really have to go.” I said as stepped back. “Go where?” He yelled. “Home!” I yelled back as I started to run. “But your house is this way!” Kyle yelled pointing the other direction. “Yeah I know that….” I said as I kept running. I felt terrible lying to him, but he would never understand. He was better off not knowing the truth. Even though I know I would end up regretting it. I continue walking, as I plugged my purple earphones to my phone. I went through my apps rapidly. I found Spotify and turn up the volume as much as I could. I continued walking, the streets were pretty lonely, compering to other days, and I found it creepy but quite relaxing. I did a few turns around the city until I stopped at a huge building. Austin Children Clinic said in big bright words at the very top of the building. This place brought memories, and not good memories if you asked me. I walked in thoughtfully, the security guard looked at me and gave me a signal with his hand to go in. I nervously smiled, why? I had no idea, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Halls were busy like usual, nurses and children everywhere. “Room 16” I said softly as I read through all the numbers on the door. I knocked on the door softly, but no one opened. I quietly got closer to the door to see if I could hear anything. “Carly! We are not going to talk about this again…” I think Mrs. Foster said. “It’s my life, I should have a choice.” I could hear Carly arguing. “Well you don’t.” Mrs. Foster said again. They didn’t sound happy, but who could blame them. All of the sudden Carly and her mom started yelling. The nurses stopped suddenly and turned to Carly’s room. I blushed suddenly, I felt super embarrassed. “Here we go again…” One of the nurses said as she walked passed me. “Whose turn is it to go?” One of the nurses said quite annoyed. I suddenly opened the door. I looked at the nurses. “I guess it’s my turn…” I whispered softly. You could still hear Carly and her mom arguing. “Here I go…” I whispered. “Hey Carly…” I said softly as I walked into the room. Carly and her mom rapidly turn to me. “April…” Carly said softly. The room got quite really quite. Mrs. Foster looked at me from head to toe. It was scaring me a bit, the last time we saw each other she was pretty upset with me. I just stood there, I decided not to close the door just in case Mrs. Foster decided to throw me her shoe or something. I turned to Carly, but she was just chocked to see me. She looked a little annoyed and upset. I smile softly, I took a step forward and took a deep breath. “Am I interrupting something?” I asked as if I had no heard the screaming in the hallway. Both Carly and her mom took a deep breath. “No. Carly and I were just chatting. You know to kill time.” Mrs. Foster said as she stepped back from Carly’s bed. “Yeah I know…” I said softly and turn to Carly, but she avoided looking at me and just stared at her hands. I suddenly heard knock from behind me. I turned rapidly just to see a short nurse with a frown on her face. “Mrs. Foster may I please speak with you?” The nurse said really polite. “Of course. I’ll leave you too alone. Be good, don’t go anywhere.” Mrs. Foster said as she turned to me. I nodded softly as I waited for her and the nurse to step out. As soon as I heard the door close I felt my lungs open up again. “Finally…” I said softly as I took a deep breath. “She left…” I added. “What are you doing here?” Carly asked really harsh. “What do you mean?” I said really confused. “You disappeared for two months or even more.” She said upset and kept avoiding eye contact. I looked at her strangely. I walked to her bed but she kept avoiding me. “I told you I was going to Dallas…” I said quietly. “Yeah for a few days!” She said really loud. “Well I am sorry I didn’t know what they meant when they said for a few days…”I said softly. “It’s not a really big deal….” I added as I sat down in the chair next to her bed. “Not a big deal? I waited for you for weeks. Every freaking day I sat here looking at the door, waiting for you to come in. I waited two months and you never came.” Carly said angrily as she pointed to the door. “I am sorry, it wasn’t like it was my choice. If it was up to me I would’ve never gone to Dallas.” I said softly as I looked down. “Ugh! Don’t say that! You do have a choice! You could have said no. We all have a choice. Don’t use that as an excuse.” Carly said angrily and turned to the window. “Even if I had a choice, it’s not like they would have listen to me.” I said softly and stared down. “Well they should have. They should give you a choice….” Carly said a little calmer. “It’s not like your mom gives you a choice….” I said softly as I faced her. “That’s different. I lost my freedom of choosing a long time ago…” Carly said softly and faced me. “I guess I already lost mine too…” I said with smile. “Ay April…. You have no idea what you’re saying…” Carly said softly. “Yeah maybe you’re right…. I usually have no idea what I am saying…. But hey what can I do.” I said sarcastically. “You didn’t really answered my question…What are you doing here?” Carly said softly as she looked down again. “I told you I was gonna come back…. So here I am.” I said softly and smiled at her. “I know that but why?” She said more serious. “Come on Carly. Don’t act dumb with me. You know exactly why I am here. You and I have a deal. And you’re not gonna back out of it.” I said really serious. Carly turned to me rapidly. “And what if I choose not to help you anymore.” Carly said angrily as if I had offended her. “You said it yourself you lost your freedom of having a choice a long time ago.” I said as I stood up. “Where are you going?” Carly said as she turned to me. “I am gonna go to the cafeteria, and get some chips and stuff… I am starving.” I said as I got my bag. “Now when I come back, you better have a whole other attitude.” I added as I left the room. Carly looked at me very confused. I was not gonna allow Carly to back out on me. I was not gonna be another sick kid in this clinic. I don’t wanna become her. I walked into the cafeteria, it’s not big, but it’s not small either, medium size I guess you could say. It was full of nurses, no kids at all. Kids are not allowed here, apparently is too risky. I walked to the chips area, there was so many to choose from, so I got one of each. I also got two sandwiches and two Arizona teas. I walked to the register as I looked for my wallet. “20.50….” The cashier said to me. I faced her rapidly. She looked at me up and down. “Here you go…” I said happily as I handed her the money. She took the money quite slowly, but she didn’t open the register. She kept staring at me like if I was an alien or something. I felt so awkward in a way. You know that moment when someone is just staring at you and you have no idea why? Well that’s how felt. Was there something in face? I mean I know I may not be the prettiest girl ever, but I am not that ugly or am I? “Is there something wrong?” I asked quietly as looked back to see if there was anyone there, but it was only me. The lady finally nodded, as she noticed she had been standing there for past few minutes. “Um no… I mean yes.” The lady still trying to speak. I felt so confused, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I just wanted to some chips. “Did you not see the sign?” She added as he pointed to the sign in the entrance of the cafeteria. I turned to sign rapidly, No Kids, No Patients Allowed! I turned back to the lady and breathed in and out. Really? Do I like a patient to her? “Oh... Lucky me…I am not patient…” I said softly as turned back to her. “You’re not? And what are you doing here?” The lady said as not believing me. “I came to visit a friend. Carly Foster, you can go ask.” I said nervously. Why is everyone here making me nervous? I thought I was suppose feel loved and helped. “It’s not necessary, just don’t let this happen again…” The lady said as he put the money in the register. She handed me a receipt and bag with all my chips. I nodded nervously and rapidly grabbed the receipt and bag and walked out almost running out of the cafeteria. “I am back!” I said as I enter the room. Carly was still in her bed, just staring at the door. “What took you so long? I thought you were going to the cafeteria, not to Walmart?” Carly said as she looked at grocery bag full of chips. “Sorry, this cashier lady didn’t want to let me go because I am apparently not allowed in the cafeteria…” I said as I walked to her bed. “Oh. And what’s with the bag?” She said as she pointed to the grocery bag with all the food. “Couldn’t decide wish ones to buy…” I said feeling guilty as I turned the back downwards and all the chips, sandwiches, and teas felt to Carly’s bed. “So you bought all of them?!” Carly said shocked. “Yes! Hungry?” I said happily. “No. Not really.” Carly said thoughtfully. “Well I am. I am starving to death…” I said touching my stomach. “How are we gonna eat all this chips?” Carly said still chocked. “Oh that’s easy… let me get some napkins…” I said as I walked to the little sink there was in the room and got some napkins. “What are we gonna used napkins for?” Carly asked confused. “You’ll see…” I said as I winked at her. I set napkins in the middle of her bed one by one. I opened each chip bag and slowly and empty each one of them in the napkins. “There we go…”I added. “This for you and this for me.” I said as I gave Carly her sandwich and her tea. “Thanks…” Carly said softly as she looked at the chips and the sandwich. “No problem…” I said as I opened my tea and my sandwich. “I don’t even think I am allowed to eat this…” Carly said still thoughtfully. “The worst that can happen, is that you can die. And you said didn’t die last time I was here.” I said as I took a bite of my sandwich. “Your right…. I am done worst things…” Carly said as she took a bit of her sandwich. “There you go…” I said happily. “What should we watch on TV” I said as I took the remote control. “I don’t know… I really don’t watch TV…” Carly said as she took another bite of her sandwich. “What?! Seriously? I think my heart just broke in half.” I said sarcastically. Carly just started laughing as soon as she saw my face. “You like mystery?” I said thoughtfully. “I love it!” She said really loud. “Great! Than crime show it is!” I said as I changed the channels to TNT. “Crime shows? Are you seriously?” Carly said laughing. “Trust me! Crime shows are the best! It’s a combination of mystery, comedy, and love all in one show.” I said as I turned to her. She tilted her head and nodded. “I guess...” She said softly. “Now move, make some space…” I said as I scooched her to the side and laid next to her. “This is so good!” Carly said as she took a bite of the sandwich. I laughed her quietly. She was eating like she had been tied to a tree for the past years. I just smiled softly as I kept eating. “So what is this show about?” Carly asked. “The name of the show is Bones. Booth and Bones are partners and they solve crimes together. They are opposite but they end up falling for each other.” I said softly as I kept eating. “Ohh… do they always fall in love?” Carly asked concerned. “Well in most of them yes. All shows must have drama.” I said softly. “Yeah I guess. I guess I am not into all the love and drama stuff…” Carly said as she got some chips. “Yeah maybe…. Since you don’t watch TV, what do you do all day?” I asked suddenly curious. “You been besides blood test and fighting with my mom?” Carly asked sarcastically. I just nodded as I kept eating my sandwich. “Well I am home or clinic school for a few hours and then I usually just read book and play my piano…”Carly said as she pointed to a white piano right next to the window. “You play the piano? That’s amazing!” I said happily. “Yeah… ever since I was little… I used to want to be a pianist...” Carly said and smiled softly. “I would love to hear you one of this days…” I said softly. “Umm I have actually never really played for anyone. But I’ll think about it.” Carly said shyly. “Not pressure! Let me know when you’re ready!” I said softly and laid back again. “What do you do in your free time?” Carly asked. “Well when I get out of school, I ride my bike back home. I then eat, and watch crime shows for like two hours and then I talk to Chloe for an hour. After that I play with Charlie for a while, then take a shower, read a book and listen to music.” I said rapidly as I got some chips. “Wow. Who is Charlie?” Carly asked confused. “Oh Charlie is my dog!” I said happily. “He is a golden retriever. He is practically my baby!” I added. “Oh! I love dogs!” Carly said smiling. “I’ll see if I can bring him one of this days!” I said happily. “That would great if you could!” Carly said really excited. I smiled at her cheerfully. We went to watching the show again. We talked once in a while, but we were both too busy eating. Carly seemed really interested in the show, even though she covered her face every time a death body appeared on the screen. I just giggled quietly. Our chips from a whole bunch to nothing, and Carly said she wasn’t hungry. Carly actually seemed to be enjoying herself for a moment. I guess she was just happy she wasn’t alone for once. It made me feel bad for her, she was alone. I felt guilty feeling bad though because she didn’t want my pity she just wanted my friendship. But I couldn’t help it, I could feel her loneliness every time I turned to her. It just broke my heart. “Carly I am back!” Mrs. Foster said as she came in. I jump suddenly from the bed, and so did Carly. Well I mean she just jumped, not out of the bed. “What is going on here?” Mrs. Foster said as she saw the chips and what was left of the sandwiches. “I was starving and I decided to buy chips and sandwiches from the cafeteria…” I said nervously. “Did you eat Carly?” Mrs. Foster said really upset. “Yeah…” Carly said softly. “Are you crazy?! This could kill you!” Mrs. Foster said really loud. “Well she is not dead. She is alive.” I said suddenly, before I could stop myself. Mrs. Foster just turned to me angrily. “April!” Carly yelled. “I am so sorry! You see I usually say what’s in my mind. I speak without thinking! I should probably go now! I am so sorry again Mrs. Foster!” I said rapidly as I picked up the napkins and threw them to the trash. “I had fun today Carly! See you tomorrow!” I said as I got my bag. Carly just nodded and gave me a small smile. I looked at Mrs. Foster and smiled at her, but she didn’t even look at me. “Sorry…” I whispered to Carly from Mrs. Foster back. I left the room, and closed the door. “You better not even think about becoming friends with the girl…” I heard Mrs. Foster say upset. “You’re too late. We’re already friends. I actually like her.” I heard Carly say. I left the clinic as soon I heard Carly say that. It actually made me feel better. I knew Carly’s mom didn’t like me, and can’t blame her. I mean I have only been putting her daughter’s life in danger, why would she like me. The worst part of all is that I didn’t even care or felt bad for her. I just want Carly to live her life, to actually have some fun. Beside we have a deal, and Mrs. Foster is not gonna like our deal at all. I walked back home, three hours had passed since I got out of school. The sky was getting darker, I could see the buildings lighting up. The streets were deserted and no cars anywhere. I got my earphones and plugged them into my phone. The weather was so perfect, not too cold but not too hot, I could feel the breeze flow through my dry cheeks. I turned Spotify on, wrote Matchbox Twenty in the search bar and turned on the sound as much as I could. I got home actually really fast. I saw both mom’s and dad’s car in the driveway, which was weird because dad was never home this early. “This must be good…” I whispered as I went in. “I am home!” I said loudly as I took my shoes off in the door. “April! Where have you been! I have been worried sick about you!” My mom said nervously as she came out of the kitchen. “I went a visit a friend. You said you weren’t home, and I didn’t want to be alone all afternoon so decided to go visit a friend of mine.” I said politely as went into the living room. “You visited Chloe? But you saw her all day in school…” My mom said still quite nervous. “No. Not Chloe. I have other friends you know….” I said quiet annoyed. “Do I know her?” Mom asked curiously. I nodded tiredly. “Well at least tell me her name…” She added. “Carly. Her name is Carly.” I said with a soft smile, I headed to the stairway. “Wait… Where you going?” Mom said as I started going up the stairs. “Going to take a shower! I am really tired…” I said softly. “You’re not gonna eat?” Mom asked quietly. “No thanks mom. I am not hungry.” I said softly and smiled at her. “April, Dr. Blue said you need to eat so you can take your medicine.” Mom said a little worried. “Don’t worry mom, I ate a sandwich at the cl—with Carly.” I said as walked to her and gave her a kiss in her cheek. “I’ll take my medicine. Promise.” I whispered at her. A small smile formed in her lips. I jumped back to the stairway and ran to my room. “Charlie I am home!” I yelled as went up the stairs. “Well welcome home dear!” Dad said as he came out from his office room. I turned to him rapidly. “I knew something smelled fishy! Hey dad!” I said with a big smile. “Hey chipmunk!” Dad said as he winked at me. “Let me guess… working at home?” I said sarcastically as I threw my bag to the other side of my back. “I promise your mom, I would come early from work, so I brought my work home.” Dad said with a smile as he turned to all the papers he had in his hand. “I knew something was wrong here…. Don’t work too hard…” I said giggling and started walking to my room. “Hey April!” My dad yelled loudly. I turned to him confused. “You have a beautiful smile…. You should use it more often.” My dad said with a big smile and want back to his office. I just stood there quiet confused, now that I think of it, I didn’t feel sad, I actually felt some happiness. I guess my soul wasn’t as dead I thought it was. Maybe I could actually be happy. Maybe there was a chance of me fighting this thing inside me. Maybe I didn’t have to die, maybe I could live and have a normal life. But all of those thoughts were just that, just maybe’s. I walked to my room, and got a small bag from my drawer. I started taking out all the pills Dr. Blue gave me, five to be exact. I faced my mirror as I walked to it. I looked down at my hand with the pills. I swallowed each one, one by one. “I can’t do this, I can’t go through this again. I just can’t.” I said as I looked myself in the mirror. I wonder what this world would be without music. What this world be without the sound of the birds singing in the morning, or the sound of fresh air that hits your skin every day. When we think of music, we think of songs and artist. What we don’t realize, that music doesn’t always need instruments, sometimes all you need is to be quite and listen to your surroundings. Listen to the birds sing, and the wind hitting the trees leaves. Now that’s true music, that’s the true power of nature, it can’t never disappoint you, unlike humans that in a matter of seconds they can ruined your life. Today is a beautiful day, the sun is up and shinning, and the birds are up and singing, and so am I. The past week had actually been pretty nice. My classes had been pretty easy and quiet relaxing, I spend my lunch with Chloe and Daniel. After school I go visit Carly. It’s of a routine I have now, I guess I could say that. As you know, I have been going to school with my dad since I started school which is kind of boring. I love my dad, but it’s time to get my life back. I feel so much better than a few months ago. It’s time to be myself again. No more riding with my dad, today is bike time. “I am going to school!” I said as I walked outside. “You’re not riding with me today?” Dad asked as he drank his coffee. “No thanks. I need some fresh air…” I said softly with a big smile. “Are you feeling okay honey?” Mom said quiet worried. “I am fine mom!” I said as I gave her and my dad a kiss on the cheek. “Take care!” Mom said nervously as she waved goodbye. “I will! I said happily as I walked out and closed the front door. I grabbed my bike slowly to the street. I turned to Kyle’s house, but he was nowhere to be seen. I took a deep breath as I looked back to my bike. I put on my earphones and got on my bike. As much as I missed Kyle, I couldn’t really do anything about it. Kyle seems to be growing up, he seems to actually really like Jessica. I mean I see them making out every day in the hallway, in the classroom and in lunch. I haven’t seem Kyle this serious about a girl in since last year. I was actually happy he was moving on. I am glad that Jessica was able to fix his broken heart. Although I do miss riding bike with him, I can’t force him to hang out with me. I can’t act like if it’s all his fault, I am the one who has been pushing him away. Besides its better this way, the longer he stays away from me, the longer I can keep my secret from him. I parked my bike in the bicycles parking and placed the locked around it. Man I was early, the school was practically empty. “April!” I heard Daniel from the back yelled. I turned to him rapidly. I started walking towards him. “Hey Daniel!” I said with a big smile. “You are so early today!” Daniel said as he walked towards me. I looked at him quite confused. “Um yeah I decided to ride my bike to school today.” I said as I pointed to my pink with blue really girly bike. “Nice bike, really vintage.” He said softly as we walked into the school. “Thanks! It was actually my sister’s, but it’s mine now.” I said softly remembering Kate. “I didn’t know you had a sister…” Daniel said surprised. “Yeah I do, she is in college now though… Her name is Kate. I am surprised you haven’t heard of her.” I said softly quiet annoyed. I hated talking about my sister. As you can see, I have only mentioned her once. It’s not that I hate her, is just that I hate that she is so perfect. Everyone pretty much loves her. She is pretty, smart, funny, and talented, and not mentioned popular. “Really? Is she some kind of Idol here?” Daniel asked curiously. I rolled my eyes, hoping he wouldn’t see me. “Yeah I guess you could say that…” I said as I took my earphones and put them in my bag. “But why?” Daniel kept asking questions. I stopped suddenly and turned to him. He almost felt on top of me, as I made him stop. “Daniel I am gonna be honest with you. I really don’t like talking about my sister. It annoys me. To me she is just Kate my annoying sister, but to everyone else she is Kate Logan, the perfect girl. You can ask anybody, they’ll tell you who Kate Logan is. If you wanna keep being my friend don’t ever asked me about my sister.” I said quiet annoyed and walked away, leaving Daniel behind. “April! Wait!” Daniel yelled still quite confused. I was not gonna allow my annoying sister to ruin my day. She had ruined my life for quite a while when we were little. When she finally left to college, I finally felt free. I had always been Kate’s shadow. It was my turn to be in the light, and be myself. I walked to the cafeteria, and to my luck Chloe was early too. Unfortunately she wasn’t alone, she was with Kyle and Jessica. I walked to them slowly, begging for them to leave before I got there. “Hey guys.” I said as I hugged Chloe from the back. “April! You are early today!” Chloe said smiling as she turned to me. Why was everyone so surprised about me being early today? I am always early just not this early. “Yeah, I decided to ride my bike to school today. Why so surprised?” I said quite confused. I had only been coming to school for a week by car, it’s not like a big deal right? “You’re using your bike again? “Chloe said happily. “OMG. I am so proud of you!” Chloe said hugging me. Kyle just looked at Chloe confused. He was up to something I knew it. “Why are you proud? She has always ridden her bike to school Chloe…” Kyle said softly. Finally someone who actually thinks the same way I do. “Right… is just that it’s the first time she rides her bike this year dork…” Chloe said nervously. Kyle kept looking at me, I wonder if he knew something. “I think you guys are over reacting… It’s just a stupid bike…. Nothing really special…” Jessica said as she turned to me and Chloe. Chloe’s hand rapidly formed into a fist. “It’s not a stupid bike… Her sister gave her that bike when she left…” Kyle said softly and turned to me. I turned to Kyle rapidly, why would he even tell her that? “Oh right your sister! Kate Logan right? Kyle told me about her. Man she was some girl here huh. Everyone here talks about her, everyone seems to love her.” Jessica said curiously. I turned to Jessica and back to Kyle. Great another girl who idolizes Kate. “Yeah, everyone loves her.” I said quietly and looked down. The one day I was actually looking forward, everyone decided to ask me about Kate. Chloe looked at me with an “I am sorry face.” “To what Kyle told me about her, your sister and I have a lot in common… We would be great friends. Right Kyle?” Jessica said as she hugged Kyle from the back. I turned to Kyle rapidly, I wonder what he told her. “Yeah…Sure… You know what I am gonna go get some breakfast… I will be right back…” Kyle said pushing Jessica away. I knew it that brat didn’t tell Jessica everything. “Maybe when she comes we can hang out. I hope you don’t mind?” Jessica said softly as she turned back to me. I seriously wanted to punch her. I wasn’t gonna mind at all, but I know if Kyle would like that. “You have no idea how many things you have in common with her…” I whispered to myself. I almost wanted to throw my bag at her. “I wouldn’t mind, but I am not too sure about Kyle though?” I added. “Excuse me?” Jessica said getting my attention. “Well didn’t Kyle tell you? My sister and Kyle dated before she left to college. He was pretty much in love with her. They had an on and off relationship. They were like the most popular couple in the whole school. Sadly Kate had to leave to college really early and she broke up with him. He was heartbroken ever since. Why do you think Kyle is so popular? He dated the prettiest girl in school. I am no too sure you two would be great friends but you sure have a lot in common.” I said quiet annoyed. Chloe just giggled. Jessica face turned red as tomato. “What? Kyle and Kate dated…..”Jessica said softly, as she tried to hold her tears. I then started to feel horrible. The guilt was killing me. “Oh Jessica I am so sorry. You said Kyle told you everything…. I just thought he…” I said trying to make it up for her. I couldn’t believe I told her what happened between my sister and Kyle. I felt like such a jerk. “Well apparently he didn’t tell me everything. He just forgot to tell me the most important part.” Jessica said really upset, trying to cover her tears from me. “I am sure he was planning on telling you…. I am so sorry…” I said trying to make her feel better, but she didn’t even let me touch her. “What exactly did he tell you?” Chloe asked all of the sudden really curious. I hit her softly in the elbow. I then saw Daniel in back of me. I wonder how long had he been standing there. “He just told me about how April was always so jealous of her and how you always tried to ruin her life…Ugh! He is such an idiot and a liar….” Jessica said really upset. She kept talking about the only that still went through my mind was the part where he told her about me and Kate. That traitor, I guess in a way he did deserve me telling Jessica the truth. Kyle came back rapidly with a bowl of oatmeal. “So what did I miss?” Kyle said happily as he walked towards us. I stepped back slowly. I did not want to be part of this anymore. Daniel just stared at me with a confused look. “Excuse me…”I said as I walked pass him. I just felt Chloe walked behind me. “Well you either missed the part where you and Kate were dating, or the part where I walk away.” Jessica said angrily as she walked away, pushing Kyle to the side. “Jessica wait, it’s not what you think it is! Jessica wait! What happened?” Kyle yelled, “Why don’t you go ask April what happened!” Jessica yelled as she walked away angrily. I froze for a second as I saw Jessica walk passed me. I soon as I saw Kyle look at me and started to walk again as fast as possible. Kyle threw the oatmeal bowl to the table. He walked towards me and got me by the arm. He pulled me to the lobby area, Chloe just followed. “What the heck. Let me go.” I said trying to push him away, but he grabbed me harder. “What did you tell Jessica? Tell me now!” Kyle said angrily as he grabbed me harder “The truth Kyle! I told her the truth!” I said still trying to pull away. “Tell me.” Kyle said angrily. “I told her that you and Kate dated, that you were in love with her. And that she broke your heart when she left to college. That’s what I told her.” I said harshly as I looked him straight in the eye. “You told her everything about Kate, and you didn’t have the guts tell her the truth. Don’t expect me to lie too Kyle.” I added really upset. “You have no idea what happened between me and Kate! And I am never gonna tell you. Never.” Kyle said harshly as he kept grabbing me. “Oh God please. It’s not like I care. I don’t need to know and I don’t wanna know. Even if I wanted to know I would have asked you a long time ago.” I said really hurt. I kept trying to push him but he just grabbed my arm harder. “I am glad I didn’t, you didn’t know anything and you still managed to tell Jessica about Kate.” Kyle said softly. “You’re the one that brought her up. You’re the one who told Jessica about her. You told her everything I told you. Don’t act like the victim now?” I said angrily. “You’re just a brat who can’t handle people talking about your sister. You have always been so jealous of her. You always felt this anger towards her and she never did anything to you. I never met someone as cold-hearted as you. What’s going on with you?! Did it really hurt that much that I dated her? Stop being so selfish, and let me live my life April. Just let it go already! Kate is in the past, she left to college and is probably dating millions of guys now! Just leave me alone. No One really cares April. I don’t even care anymore.” Kyle said angrily as he grabbed me harder. “Kyle let her go. You don’t mean that.” Chloe said trying to push Kyle away. “Why should you even care? You only cared about my sister. You don’t even know me at all. ” I said softly as I tried to hold my tears. Kyle let go of my arm slowly. He tried to speak but nothing came out. Every word he said broke my heart in pieces. I realized he didn’t even know me at all. He was just another guy, crazy for my sister. I felt my heart sink and my brain about to explode. I tried to walk away before I would fall to the floor in front of everyone. I felt my body go around, and the numbness in my feet. I stepped back slowly as I tried to find Chloe, I really did not want to fall in Kyle’s arm “I—Can’t—Chloe….” I said as I took all the energy I had left to speak. I felt to the ground rapidly. I hugged my head as fast I could. All I could hear was this really loud sound, I felt like my brain was jumping all over the place. “April! Are you okay?” Kyle said jumping to help me. “Don’t touch me…”I yelled. Kyle froze as soon I yelled. I turned to him as I tried to get up. Chloe helped me stand up. I could see Kyle’s worried eyes. They were probably just as fake as his friendship. “April… You need to go the nurse…” Kyle said trying to get close to me. I stepped back, almost falling again. “Chloe my bag…. I said as I pointed to the floor. “The blue bag inside… Ahhhh!” I said softly trying to speak and keeping my brain from exploding. Chloe reached to get the bag but Kyle beat her to it. “Here?” Kyle said as he handed me the bag. Chloe got the bag angrily. As we started to walk away, I could feel Kyle behind us walking. “Go look for Jessica. She is not a selfish brat…” I said angrily. I finally stopped hearing his footsteps. We walked into the girl restroom. I dropped myself as soon as I closed the door. I took the pain pill rapidly and just sat there like an idiot. “Feeling better?” Chloe asked sitting next to me. “I hate this, I hate this so much.” I said trying as hard not to cry. I laid my head in my knees, as I covered my face so Chloe wouldn’t see me. “You scared me for a second there…” Chloe said worried. “I am okay now… I just need a few more seconds…” I said softly “Oh April, you know Kyle didn’t mean anything he said right? He was just angry at you, but that’s all. If he just knew what’s going on. Maybe he’ll understand you…” Chloe said softly. “I don’t want his stupid pity Chloe and I really don’t want to talk about him…” I said softly barely speaking. “He knows something is up. You almost fainted in front of him… Just tell him.” Chloe said objecting. “What am I supposed to tell him Chloe? Hey Kyle I have a tumor in my brain and I am probably gonna die soon, wanna hang out?” I said sarcastically. “It’s better than lying to him…” Chloe said standing up. “Stay here I am gonna go get a nurse…” Chloe said as she walked out of the restroom. I stood up and walked to mirror to wash my face. “This all your fault Kate…” I said softly. “Is this true? You have a tumor in your brain?” Jessica said from the back. My whole body froze. My secret was definitely not a secret anymore. I saw Jessica through the mirror, as she tried to get it through her head. “Jessica… How much did you hear?” I said softly. “Pretty much everything…” Jessica said still in chocked. “Is it true?” She said trying to speak. “I do. I was diagnosed during the summer.” I said softly as kept looking at her from the mirror. “Oh… I knew something was weird about you.” Jessica whispered. “Does Kyle know?” She asked suddenly. I nodded slowly as I looked down at the sink. “No… I haven’t been able to tell him…” I said softly as the pain kept coming back. “Are you planning on telling him?” Jessica said curiously. “I don’t really have the guts to… As you can see, I haven’t really told anybody. Only Chloe know and now you do too.” I said as I washed my face again. “Interesting…” Jessica whispered. “Jessica… Please don’t tell anybody…” I said rapidly as I turned to her. “You know… you would expect that since you embarrassed me in front of my boyfriend and everyone in the cafeteria, I would ran out and tell everyone, but I am not as cold-hearted as you.” Jessica said thoughtfully. “First I am so sorry about hurting your feelings, I was just annoyed and upset. Second I did not embarrassed you, I told you the truth. Thirdly this is way more seriously than a fight with Kyle, we are talking about my life here…” I said softly trying to get her attention. “Don’t worry April, I am not gonna tell Kyle. If he finds out, he is gonna wanna be with you. I know you’re sick and everything but I don’t want you nowhere near my Kyle. Whenever you’re around, he literally forgets about me.” Jessica said as washed her hands. “You can have him. He never really cared about me, he only cared about my sister.” I said softly as I looked down. “Then we have a deal. You stay away from Kyle and I’ll stay quiet.” Jessica said with a big smile as she turned to me. I nodded slowly. “Don’t worry about me. Kyle is pretty much dead to me.” I said as I tried to hold my tears. Jessica just nodded and walked passed me. “You know… Kyle did tell me you were a smart girl.” Jessica said softly as she opened the door. I looked at her very confused. “I am sorry April. I really wish you the best.” Jessica added softly. “I don’t want your pity Jessica. I am sorry but can you please leave me alone…” I said softly. Jessica closed the softly as she walked out. I walked back to the wall next to the door. I felt my tears burst out. I just wanted to have a good day today. I went from feeling like new to feeling like trash. I hugged my knees as I tried to stop myself from crying. I could not live like this, for the rest of my life. Chloe and the nurse suddenly came in. They both helped me stand up and took me the nurse office. I was so thankful no one was around to see me. As soon as we went into the nurse office, Chloe laid me in one of the beds. The pill had finally kicked in, I felt my whole body asleep. I sat back in the corner of the bed. I hugged my knees again, slowly as felt sleep. I saw Chloe leave to her class. The nurse looked at me worried, she then came to check my blood pressure. I tried really hard to keep my eyes open. The nurse got the phone rapidly, I assume she was either calling my mom or 911, but my eyes closed softly and my whole world went black. “April….” I heard a voice far away.

As I woke up, I looked around the room. I could hear the birds singing happily, I felt much warmed. I finally realized I was in my room, and in my PJs. I guessed my mom end up picking me up from school after I felt sleep. I still felt really dizzy, and sleepy. I looked at phone as turn to my drawer. Only a few hours had passed since my breakdown. I heard a soft knocked on my door. “Come in…” I said softly as I sat in my bed. Mom opened the door slowly as she came in with chicken soup. “I thought you might be hungry…” Mom said softly with a worried face. “Not really… I said still trying to keep my eyes opened. “Feeling any better?” Mom said softly as she sat down next to me. “If by that you mean better than a few hours ago… yes.” I said softly as I looked at the window. “I am just glad you’re okay…” My mom said really worried. “Yeah me too…” I said softly as looked at chicken soup mom was holding. “I’ll just let the soup right here… Just in case you get hungry…” My mom said as she put the soup in the small table I had next to my bed. I nodded slowly and looked back at the window. She gave me a small kiss on my forehead and headed to the door. “Mom…” I said softly as I turned towards her. She turn rapidly towards me as if she was waiting for me to call her name. Her smile was soft but full of pain. I felt so guilty inside, because not only did I ruined my day but I had ruined hers too. She tilted her head slowly as opened the door. “Yeah?” She said softly. “I am sorry for worrying you… I am okay now though…” I said as my heart broke in pieces as I saw her keep her tears in. She just nodded softly and left the room. She couldn’t really be around me, when I was in pain. She probably ran to the kitchen to cry her heart out. I wish I could take those tears away, but in the end I was the reason she was crying. I turn to look at the soup, but I wasn’t really hungry. Just the fact of seeing the soup there made my stomach crazy. I wanted to throw it away, but I didn’t have the energy to get out of my bed. Suddenly my whole bed started vibrating, I freaked for a second there. I then realized my phone was vibrating. I tried to find my phone, but it seemed almost impossible with all the covers I had on top of me. I threw all my covers to the floor rapidly as my phone kept vibrating. “Found it…”I said softly as I struggled to get it. I looked at phone just too see Chloe was calling me. It was probably the first time I actually I felt happy to see her call me. “Hello?” I asked as put the phone in my ear. “April! I am so glad you’re okay!” Kyle said suddenly. I suddenly felt my smile turn into a frown. I looked back at the phone again to see who was calling me, but the caller-id said Chloe. “You’re not Chloe…” I said really annoyed and confused. “Right… I just really needed to talk to you…” Kyle said, he sounded really desperate. “But I don’t want too…” I said as I laid back in bed. I heard a lot of noise on Kyle’s side, it was practically making me deaf. “April! I am sorry! This idiot does not know what no means…” Chloe said angrily as she took the phone away from Kyle. “It’s okay.” I said more relax. “How are you feeling?” Chloe said worried. “I am okay…. I slept for quite a while, I just need to rest…”I said softly as I covered myself with all the covers again. “Oh okay… I’ll let you rest. Take care. Love you!” Chloe said with a baby voice. “Me too…” I said as hanged the phone up. I felt so tired, my brain was awake but my whole buddy was still sleep. The only good thing about today was that I was in my bed and not in the hospital. I didn’t even know why I felt this way. I felt pain, but also felt the sadness inside me burning my soul. I laid my head in my pillow as I rolled over. I tried to close my eyes but I just couldn’t fall back to sleep. I walked to my backpack that was hang in my closet to get my earphones. I tried hard not to make any noise so my mom wouldn’t notice I was up. I got my phone and connected my earphones. I needed music in my life to survive. I laid back in bed as I surfed on Spotify to find a song. Whenever I felt this way, I always put Matchbox Twenty, it just made me feel better in away. ”All day staring at the ceiling, making friends with shadows on my wall…” I sang myself to sleep. I heard a really loud noise outside, and then I heard a car. Dad came running into my room rapidly. “Chipmunk! I heard you had a break down!” Dad said worried as he walked to my bed. I nodded as took my earphones off. “I am okay now dad…” I said softly as pushed myself to seat. “What happened? Mom said you didn’t tell her anything…” Dad said curiously. “Nothing happened, I just had a breakdown…” I said a little uncertain of what he meant with that question. “Really? Well you see the nurse at your school said that you had your blood pressure really high, which might have caused you the breakdown…” Dad said really curious as he looked at me with a puppy face. I just looked at my hands. “Come on chipmunk… You can tell me…”Dad said as he forced me to look at him. “Nothing happened…. I just felt really dizzy and then it happened. It was probably the bike. But I am okay now…”I said softly as turned back to my hands. “Okay then… if you say so…” Dad said as he stood up. “April… You can count us. You can tell us anything, we won’t judge you. If you have boy problems talk to your mom, she can give you great advice, you know.” Dad said as he gave me a kiss on my forehead. I just nodded softly, as he left the room. I did not have boy problems, I have a problem with people not just with boys. I mostly had problems with three people, Kyle, Jessica, and Kate. Somehow Kate always keeps coming back. Besides I had a lot more important things to think about than boy problems. The day went by pretty fast, I just laid in my bed for the entire day and listen to music. Before I knew it the sun had left and the moon was up. I turned off the lights in my room, and opened the window curtains. I loved how the moon’s light lightened up my room, it just made seem so peaceful. I guess right now is good place to tell you about my sister. I mean you already know I don’t like her, but I think you should know why. As you know my sister’s name is Kate Logan. She is a year and a half older than me. She is about 5 inches taller than me, she is pretty much perfect. She has long black hair, and yes its natural, she has hazel eyes, and she is thin with curves. She plays almost every sport that exist, and not to mention she is smart. Kate was also the most popular girl in school, everyone loved her. She has also dated a lot of guys, including Kyle. I am not gonna deny it though, at some point in my life I was jealous of her. I had always wanted to be like her. I tried millions of times, but it seemed less possible every time. I seemed to be less close to being perfect every day. She drove me so crazy I became so bitter. But little by little my whole opinion towards her change. I started to feel bad for her every time I saw her. She wasn’t really what I had always thought she was. You know in every family there is always that one kid who gets all the attention and there is the other kid, who nobody cares about? Well that’s Kate and me. Everyone always gave all the attention to Kate. She was always compared to me and she always won. We were like opposites of each other, we never really enjoyed anything together. Mom and Dad adore her, they spend every day going to her games and dance recitals, and they were always home early. She always managed to convince them of letting her go out. I didn’t really feel like part of the family sometimes, it was just them three. And like it wasn’t enough at home, I kept being her shadow at school. Everybody knew me as Kate’s sister, but they didn’t know my name, even the teacher sometimes forgot. It got to the point where I wasn’t really even jealous of her I just wanted someone too look at me and call me by my name.

Unfortunately things got worse when Kyle started falling for her. Chloe and Kyle were the only people who called me by name in school, but that changed after forwards. You see Kyle and my sister had an off and on relationship. So sometimes I was April, and then sometimes I was Kate’s sister. Which angered me, because no matter what I did he always went back to her. We could stop talking for weeks, and then all of the sudden he was my friend again and then he wasn’t. I was so confused, with this on and off thing. I was just an idiot who agreed to be his second choice, even though I had always wanted to be his first choice. Then my grandfather moved in with us. Mom and dad weren’t too sure if it was a good idea, but my grandpa seemed love the idea. Little by little I grew so attached to him, he was the only one who paid attention to me. While Kate had my parents, I had my grandpa. Grandpa was the only one who got excited when I tried out for volleyball, he went to every game, whether I lost or won. He thought me to live life, and I would’ve been so lost without him. Kate wasn’t really close to him, grandpa wasn’t either. I felt like he was angry at her for some reason, I think she felt that too. For some reason she always sounded guilty around him, never really understood why though. I stopped caring about Kyle and Kate, after a while. He always kept telling me I was worth way more than I thought I did. He didn’t really like Kyle, I guessed because he was Kate’s boyfriend. I just stopped caring cause I was tired of caring, it was their turn to care now. But all of the sudden everything went down, pretty much for everyone at home. Grandpa got really ill, he fought for a while, but passed away after a few months. I was broken, and once again I was all alone. My parents and my sister cried together for days. I just cried in his room for days. I was so mad at him for leaving, he left when I needed him the most. Kate and I when back to school and everyone felt so bad for Kate, even the teachers decided not to give her homework, because of what she was going through. I on the other hand had to study double now. I had to quit volleyball to be able to study. She used grandpa to her convenience everywhere, and it just drove me crazy. So one night I locked her in grandpa’s room, and made her sleep there. She was so scared his ghost would appear and take her. Everything remind her of him, she yelled and cried at me for the whole night. I as much I felt bad, she deserved it. She ended up calling Kyle to rescue her, and since that moment she said I ruined her life. Everyone at school always pity her because of our grandpa, and that drove her nuts. She felt so guilty and I had no idea why. Then suddenly out of nowhere she got this amazing scholarship from a college far away from here. She ended up leaving early for college, everyone thought it was because she was so smart, but in reality it was because she just wanted to leave. She wanted to be somewhere nobody knew her, she wanted to start fresh. Everyone thought she was so perfect and amazing, and that her self-stem was so high. But that wasn’t true at all, she had always had people around her, she didn’t know any different. After grandpa passed away, I notice she was just like me. She was just as lost as I was. She was not perfect, nor amazing and her self-stem was not high, and nobody seemed to notice. The only reason I hate talking about her is because they are talking about a lie. About someone who does not exist, and angers me that everyone thinks of her as if we are talking about a godets but in reality she just insecure human. I am not jealous of her, I just feel pity for her.

So what do you think so far? Please be honest