User blog:Taylor Swifts Number One Fan/I'm cutting myself.....

Okay so lately i've been feeling depressed, and i have had some personal issues, Like i've had anger problems for a long time, and the other day i was mad at my dad because he snooped in my room when i wasn't home, and i took a knife and stabbed my pillow with it, and i thought to myself "I wish dad was the pillow i just stabbed", and i know you might think i'm crazy for doing that but i'm not, because he is NOT a father to me AT ALL, he is so mean, there is like this account with money that he has (the acconut is suppost to be for my needs, like my food, my vlothing, Etc) But he takes the money and he gambles it all away, and he used to beat up my mom, and he is just mean period, one time he said he wanted to punch me in the face, and another time he blamed me for something i HE did ad he was going to slap me across the face, anyways, i've gotten bullied over the years nad it just brings me down, i've also gotten cyber bullied, and one of my brothers used to beat me up, and one time my mom said HORRIBLE things to me, she called me ALL kinds of nasty names, and she was yelling at the same time, and a lot of times she says i'm annoying, she says i'm a pest, and weh she had called me all those nasty names that i can't reapeat because there REALLY bad words, i just completly broke down crying, and i feel like she is ashamed of me, and she called me a dead beat, and all of this happened months ago, but it just comes back and haunts me everyday of my life, and i think about all the things she called me, like she called me "A nasty piece of sh**" and that really hurt me, but that's